Continue to invest in experiences to create “memory dividends” over buying “stuff!” My buddy, Mike, turned me on to Bill Perkins and his concept of investing in experiences which create meaningful memories which pay dividends many times over throughout our lives. So many additional smiles and so much bonus joy came from savoring memories today! Experiences like travel are truly the gifts that keep on giving!
Appreciation:
In going along with the above, I’m beyond appreciative of the trips we’ve made to Iceland. The topic of Iceland came up on a few separate occasions today and the last inspired a trip down memory lane through photos from our times there. I can’t begin to put into words what a beautiful country it is, and I’ve only seen less than a third of it!
Iceland appears in my dreams so frequently – both while I’m asleep and awake. So grateful for the experiences I have shared there and looking forward to going back in the not too distant future.
Presence:
This morning’s run had a special guest star, a gigantic and spectacularly dark orange moon slowly sinking into the bluffs. On our way out we got to watch it slowly drift down to the horizon as it continued to grow in size. Almost every breath taken on the first half of our run was pointed towards the majestic sight on my left. As we neared our turn around point it slipped behind a group of trees and looked like a supernatural fire glowing in the distance. Such wondrous beauty to start the day!
Over the past couple of days I’ve found myself joking with others about how I wished I had more time. Funny that my brain goes to wanting more rather than pausing to ask how I’m using my time and what I’m focusing my time on. Between those three variables – amount of time, efficiency, and prioritization – my default is to wish for the one I do not have control over. This has been an interesting lens to view the world through today, it’s led me to make better choices of how and where I put the time I have.
Appreciation:
This may be something I’ve blogged about before, but I am so appreciative for my experiences of driving in snowy conditions while growing up in northern Wisconsin. With our first true snowfall of the year the conditions were less than ideal, especially for a day when I was commuting an hour and a half.
Thanks to learning to drive on snow and ice covered roads up north I was much ore relaxed in spite of the slick conditions. Take a deep breath, hold the wheel lightly, slow down a bit, give more space, test the roads and braking when no one is nearby, stay calm, stay focused. Nothing to it!
My day was pretty jammed as it was, not having the additional stress of driving in snow was greatly appreciated.
Presence:
During my drive home this evening my audiobook shared a story that caused me to hit the Pause button. The story resulted in a confluence of three different ideas in a very unexpected way. It was one of those proverbial “lightbulb” moments. I had to pause, focus, and work through the newly created idea while it was fresh in mind, a lump of wet clay quickly starting to firm up. In those moments my mind was fully concentrated on the task at hand and it was an awesome sensation!
Goals are wildly helpful tools to help us grown and improve – most of the time. I sometimes struggle with balancing a goal for the sake of being a goal with the essence of what the goal was intended to create. For instance, one of my goals in 2022 was to read over 100 books. I crushed it, that’s a success, right? This year that wasn’t a goal and I have had more days like today in which I have a balance of reading, some quiet time to process, some focused thinking time, conversations, and some musical relaxation. Having the mix today seemed more rewarding than the hard core focus on reading last year, but without the extreme focus on the goal of reading 100 books in 2022 would I have had built the habit of reading so much that in an “off” year I would read well over 50 books?
Maybe it is something to consider on a moment by moment basis. Which is more important in this moment – achieving the goal for the sake of achieving the goal or missing the goal but living into the intention of the goal?
Appreciation:
Guilty pleasure time! One of my favorite movies is totally a bad movie in so many ways, but the redeeming factors of it make it one of my most frequently watched movies. Yes, like books, when I find one I like I go back to that well over and over and over again. This morning I fired up the TV while getting my bike ride in on my trainer in the living room.
The movie? Point Break. Nope, not the original 1991 version starring Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze (although I really enjoy watching that one too). I am talking about the Point Break of 2015 with an IMDB rating of 5.3 on a 10 point scale (btw – Ernest Goes to Camp earned a 5.5 rating). So I am for sure not talking about one of the greatest cinema masterpieces of all time here.
Here’s the deal and why I am such a huge fan. There is a strong focus on the importance of being outdoors. There are so many beautiful locations used in filming and each viewing reminds me of why I have a passion for travel, especially outdoor vacations. One of the themes is very stoic in nature – we control our choices and how we respond to life. The action sequences involve actual stunts like the squirrel suit scene which had never been done prior to this movie. Throw in a struggle between who is actually the protagonist and antagonist and it has a bit of everything.
Sometimes we can pause to appreciate something that is less than perfect. For me each watching of Point Break leaves me smiling, thinking, and dreaming of future outdoor escapes. Honestly, it motivates me to get off my ass and do something. Whether the move is rated 5.3 stars or 9.3 stars (The Shawshank Redemption – THE BEST of all time) it can be enjoyed.
Presence:
I’m now typing this section almost an hour after the rest. Just as I wrapped up the previous section Gavin asked if I wanted to play some cards. Yessir, you bet I would! We then spent almost an hour talking, playing, joking, & listening to music. Pretty epic end to the day!
Today I was working on the last of the testing and set up for recording the audio version of my book (which you can learn more about here). I’ve got the pseudo-studio in Dominic’s bedroom closet ready to go with soundproofing, I’ve got all the equipment set up, I’ve got my recording app (Audacity) all set, and did a couple of test runs to see what I’m getting myself into. At this point I know I will be able to record well and in a format that will get uploaded to ACX (Audible.com) and other websites. All I need to do now is the hard work, recording 😉
What I was reminded of today is how grateful I am for all of the online resources we have available to make projects like this easier. Being able to hop on YouTube to learn about recording, using Google to find how to upload and install a plugin for the application, and then stumbling upon advice to e more successful was a total godsend! Having such a wealth of knowledge and wisdom at our fingertips like this is something I don’t take time to appreciate often enough.
Appreciation:
For the past decade and a half our house has been a largely loud and crazy place. Whether it was chasing the boys, playing with the dogs, or hanging out with friends it seems like our house was always a place of busyness. Today it is only Leia and I. Gavin and Becky are on a trip in France and Dominic is in college. Such a crazy and drastic change!
Within this quiet has been a huge focus on productivity. I put together a fairly large list of what I want to accomplish this weekend and I’ve already made some serious headway on it. Additionally, with the definite lack of conversation there’s been so much time to think and contemplate while I am getting things done. The quiet has been uncanny – almost like when I did my solo writing retreat and solo backpacking trip – but in an even more interesting way as it is in the place which is usually the center of conversation.
I know without question that I prefer the busyness and conversations within our home, but there is a magic to this stillness that I am thankful for in small doses. It reminds me of a book I read not too long ago about someone who has almost completely withdrawn from the rest of society. He pops back in every so often just to stay sane before fading back into the wilderness. In my case it seems like I need to fade into the background of solitude every so often before jumping back into real life in order to hold more tightly to my sanity.
I miss the time with my family, but I am appreciative for the time I have alone. It is certainly a time of healing, rejuvenation, and focus – so long as I choose to utilize it that way. I am reminded of the old quote by Blaise Pascal:
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
Blaise Pascal
Here’s to enjoying that quiet time in a room alone.
Presence:
This morning Leia and I went for a little hike on a beautiful trail just off of Fisherman’s Road and enjoyed some outside time in the sun. She took her time to sniff everything possible as we slowly worked our way along the out and back trail. It was easy to see she was loving the outside time in the woods as much (possibly even a little more than) I was.
This afternoon she was getting a little squirrelly so I thought we’d take on our second hike of the day. After a very short distance she was walking very fast and starting to pull on her leash. Even though I was not prepped for a trail run – I was wearing cargo shorts and no socks – I decided it was time to test her out with some trail running. Seeing as she’s a puppy we’ve been slowly building up her distance, I haven’t taken her for a trail run yet. I hit the gas, she smiled, and then all I saw was her backside… until she would suddenly dart off the trail to stop and smell something!
Other than her smell breaks we ran well over three quarters of the trail together and it was awesome!!! I am not sure which of us was smiling bigger by the time we were done. Definitely a moment I’ll remember forever, kind of like the time I took LuLu running solo with me back in the day. Moments like that are pure gold.
It seems as if we all go through “funks” in our lives. You know, those times when we aren’t fully happy, we feel a little down, and like there’s almost something missing in our life. Sometimes they feel like I am in a room in which all the light bulbs have either gone out or are fading fast rather than being outside on sunny day. Regardless of how you describe them, they really kind of suck and are not where we want to hang out often.
There have been a handful of “funks” I’ve lived through. Each had its own suffering, but as I look back each was something I grew through. When I was much younger I descended into a deep funk and as I grew through it I learned the importance of inner happiness rather than looking outwards and focusing on the opinions of other people. Another funk in my early thirties helped me see I needed to take better care of myself physically which also led to a huge growth in self discipline. Before I turned thirty nine I was enveloped in a funk that eventually became the creation of this blog and focused my attention to appreciation and changed my life in profound ways.
In between there have been small funks which registered small growth. There’ve also been larger funks that I really don’t want to dive into in this format that led to larger growth in other directions. Throughout life there has always been, and seems that there will always be, ups and downs in my mood. Often there is joy and elation, but there are also funks.
At one point in life I’d argue that we should never be in a funk, that it is as simple as choosing happiness instead. What I’ve been learning more and more is that funks are a counterbalance to joy, but also a creation of joy. Through those difficult times we find our growth, we create future joy. They still hurt when we suffer through them, but if we pause and realize they can be a tool for us to grow closer to who we are called to be.
That’s where my head has gone this evening. I thought about those past funks and saw the growth they resulted in. Their pain is still there, but is has been numbed by the growth that has come since. As I work through what feels like the tail end of a funk my mindset changed drastically after a simple question crossed my mind.
In a moment of emotion, singing out loud to an awesome song with my moonroof open (more on that in the Presence section), the question appeared and brought a moment of absolute stillness and honest contemplation.
“What is the purpose of this funk?”
What is the purpose of this funk? What am I learning through this? How do I need to grow as highlighted by this funk? Something must be off or wrong if I am feeling this way – what is it, what caused it, how do I change it? Why is this specific funk hitting now? When I work through this how will I be closer to closing the gap between who I am and who I am called to be?
“What is the purpose of this funk?”
As I thought through the question I had several rapid fire thoughts which I will share honestly and openly. For clarity, I still have much to consider in this, but these were the starting points:
Learning how much is truly out of my control no matter how much I want to be in control
Choosing a path, being bold, not settling for the path of least resistance, not drifting, acting intentionally
Realizing what is truly important to me, manifesting more of the opportunities which fit my strengths
Making a choice rather than hedging my bets
Learning to let go, that I can only accomplish so much, not trying to do everything
Thinking through this list brought up so many ideas to struggle with and through. What was interesting though was that rather than feeling like I was in a funk it was an acceptance of not being 100% joyful as I would like to be and seeing that working through this would help me get closer to that state.
Another interesting insight – it is not the goal of living a perfectly joyful life, rather it is to enjoy the struggle and the journey towards that goal. Definitely an idea to come back to later.
Tonight I’m really grateful for the question – “What is the purpose of my funk?” It has helped me transform a feeling of almost helplessness into a tool for growth, a source of future joy. If you’re currently in a funk of your own try asking yourself that question, who knows where it may take you!
Appreciation:
I am grateful for the way so many moments worked out today to help create the mindset and the mental and emotional space to work through that thought above. As I type my blog I can’t help but be thankful for this process of daily journaling and blogging to help my mind work through so many of these thoughts. In the past I would have maybe had the moment of insight and then lost it into the recesses of my brain, never to be seen again. By writing this thought process down today I can come back to it in the future, I work through the concept more completely through writing, and – even though it is incredibly humbling to open myself up like this to whomever happens to read this – to live more closely into my personal purpose of brightening lives through shared experiences.
This process, this ritual, this habit… what a gift!!!
The reflection of the mountains and trees resonated with me as I wrote tonight – enjoy!
Presence:
My drive home from Menomonie was rather epic this evening! I opted for some music rather than audiobook or podcast, opened up the moonroof, and sang my butt off. It started as an opportunity to let loose some energy, to relax. What’s wild is that is was exactly at this time with my guard completely down and I was unencumbered by any intentional thought that the concept in the Growth section broke loose and became reality.
That moment of letting go to emotion completely led to some of the best thought processes I’ve had in quite some time. Force it and it doesn’t work, forget it and it comes alive. Such an eye opening reminder to let my brain relax and work its own way to where it needs to go.
Working ahead really paid off today! I am becoming more and more trusting in one of my biggest habit changes for 2023… planning further and further ahead (while also providing some wiggle room). There were a small handful of last minute changes today that I was totally not expecting. Had I not already been ahead for the week I’d be in full blown panic mode and putting things together more with a focus on done than done right. I’m so thankful I’m working ahead of where I need to be, it allowed me additional flexibility today!
Appreciation:
Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been on a fun reading detour. I started with The Wim Hof Method by Wim Hof, moved into Breath by James Nestor, and chased it up with What Doesn’t Kill Us by Scott Carney. For dessert I’ve just started reading Deep by James Nestor. The first three spend a lot of time focused on the healing powers of breath and cold. Last night I utilized a meditation and breathing based treatment to help with a nagging injury and I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time. All are based on reminding ourselves of just how little we know about our bodies and the ways that little changes and practices can make a big difference. Pulling practices from each is already showing some beneficial results on my heart rate.
My reading diet typically consists of a rotation of business / leadership book, a biography / autobiography, and fiction. Mixing in a healthy dose of fitness minded books has helped to remind me that without my health the rest of what I read doesn’t matter nearly as much. Getting on a reading kick like this has been a treat!
Presence:
This snow is so beautiful!!! The way it has stuck to all the trees has made so much of my drive to Winona look like it is a black and white scene in a very unique and spectacular way. Even shoveling felt great today. This morning I was out early in nothing but a tshirt, shorts, sandals, hat, & gloves and I enjoyed every shovel stroke. So peaceful with the snow falling all around me.
So often it is difficult to see the growth from each rep that gets put in. There are seemingly no gains for quite a while when putting in work towards a long term goal. At some point enough momentum is created and the entire wheel seems to turn almost effortlessly. So easy to see the final pushes and credit them for the success, but more accurate to look at each rep that came before it as equals to the last.
This afternoon I was able to see the breakthrough. Honestly, I was quite surprised! Once I realized what had happened I looked back and saw I had taken so many more reps than I thought, they’d all blended together in my memory until I paused to focus on them.
When working towards a long term goal stay on target with the minor details and menial tasks. Stay focused, stay consistent, and trust the process. The breakthrough will come as a result of all the repetitions.
Appreciation:
My task list for the week is extensive but all with end of the week deadlines. I started on one of the larger projects today and cruised right past the finish line I’d set for myself for the day on it. My thought was to hit a certain point and then move on to the next project. Instead I went with the flow I was in and just kept rolling. Rather than switching gears I was able to keep the momentum going and accelerate through the end of the work day. Tomorrow I’ll head back to the other stuff on my list.
What I’m really thankful for is the awareness to know when I’m in the flow and able to keep rolling AND for working ahead on almost all of the other projects so I have the flexibility to stay on one task longer.
Presence:
I got myself a new office “toy” for my standing desk. My balance board arrived today and I’m already in love! Standing on it and attempting to balance brought me 100% into the present moment as I felt all of my foot, leg, and core muscles working and twitching to keep myself upright. Talk about a great sensation! My right achilles has been bothering my a little lately and the time on the board helped loosen it right up.
In one of our learning sessions today the speaker shared this thought provoking insight, “Clarity is controllable.”
One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced as a leader is providing the necessary clarity of goals for my team. This comment reminded me that of all that I do as a leader providing clarity is amongst the most important, if not the most important. What a perfect reminder for me to be intentional about being completely clear in our vision and goals!
Appreciation:
One of my favorite The Far Side cartoons by Gary Larson is one which the line is, “Mr. Osborne, may I be excused? My brain is full.” That is exactly how I am feeling after 24 hours of our Express Leadership Academy Alumni Retreat. So many ideas are already stuffed into my brain bucket, I’m afraid if I add any more some will slosh out when I walk!
What I’m most appreciative for is the opportunity to learn from other leaders. Yes, the strategy and tactics are fantastic, but I’m talking about the deeper learning that is there is I remember to watch for it below the surface. How does the leader show their values in the way they communicate? If I listen to a deeper frequency there are more profound and impactful lessons to learn. There were two specifically today which moved me deeply.
One leader who is amongst the most successful in our 800+ offices showed such a deep level of humility. She’s done a superb job of quieting ego while continuing to lead the way to success. Her integrity shown through so clearly as well, everything she does is with excellence. She’s focused on the most important and gets at it. As I re-read Meditations I can’t help but see how she embodies so many of the Stoic principles.
Another leader is exceptionally courageous while also leading with dynamic clarity. She is willing to try new things, to see where the world is going and get there before anyone else does. She reminds me of the Wayne Gretzky quote, “Most people skate to the puck, I skate to where the pick will be.” That takes courage and old fashioned guts. New ideas are never easy and are often criticized… until everyone realizes just how brilliant the idea really is. Her courage to do what’s right is truly uplifting.
There is no question I can draw inspiration from both of these leaders at a level deeper than their tactics and strategies. From them I can learn to be a better me. I am so thankful today for the opportunity to learn from them.
Presence:
Speaking in front of a group is one of my favorite ways to be 100% focused in the present moment. There is no room to day dream, to drift off, or to consider all the things going on in life.
There is only the audience to focus on, watching their nonverbals and responding accordingly. What’s hitting home, what’s not. Who had a deeply emotional connection to the specific line. Which phrases or points packed the most punch. The speaking itself is muscle memory, the true presence in in the micro adaptions to the audience to provide them the best possible experience.
Having an opportunity to speak to an audience is a practice in forced presence and focus, I am so appreciative for that opportunity!
What a ride home it was today! While waiting at a red light I was rear ended. I pulled to the side of the road, saw there was damage, and then got back in to pull over in a safer place. While I did that the driver of the other car hit the gas and drove away.
Rather than getting angry I took a deep breath – heeding my advice from yesterday’s blog. I calmly called the police and they were able to get everything rolling. While I sat in the car and awaited further instruction I took another deep breath and started typing this blog.
I would normally have gotten very upset in a situation like this. Having just written about this very topic only yesterday helped me remember that what was done was done, there was no point in wasting emotional energy over it. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks! 😉
Appreciation:
Way back in the day a friend really caught my attention by asking a very simple question.
“Are you okay? You don’t seem yourself.”
For ways I’ll keep to myself that question literally altered the direction of my life for the better. I can honestly say the likelihood of my life being the same is almost zero thanks to her moment of focus, concern, and caring. I learned so many valuable lessons in that moment – about myself, life, and others. It was transformative.
The question was simple, the intent heartfelt, the impact profound. I appreciate that question, that moment, and that friend tremendously.
Presence:
Sometimes we must listen with more than our ears. I know, technically you can only “hear” with your ears, but I swear there are other ways to “listen” to other people. Today I’m thankful I paused to really listen and take the appropriate action. I’m also thankful for the moment I described above as that helped me see the right action to take to help.
The growth moment for today is one which has presented itself in a handful of ways over the past week or two. The lesson has shown up as a very clearly and directly as well as undervocer as a metaphor and as a lived example of why it is important. All around me are these clues and gestures which point to a better way of being.
The lesson? There’ve been a handful of subtle variations but at its core is this…
Count to three, take a deep breath, and then respond. Don’t react immediately, take a moment to pause and think, and then take action.
So wonderfully simple and easy, yet wildly difficult. So much more work to put into my practice of doing this correctly.
Appreciation:
My gratitude today comes as a result of a few different articles in APNews.com recently. I am so blessed, fortunate, and grateful for my life in this country. While I drive with my family to go for a leisurely hike in the bluffs there are so many people living through unspeakable challenges throughout the world. The situation I live in each day is very fortunate and I’m thankful for the life I’m able to live. My heart aches for those in difficult situations, I know I must do better to help others who need it.
Presence:
Hiking in the bluffs always brings about such calm. The smell of the woods mixed with the spectacular vistas could help me lose myself in the beauty of the present in an instant.
What really jumped out to me today was something truly exquisite. While atop the ridge of a bluff we looked over the expanse of the Mississippi River Valley. So many trees, plants, rock formations, backwaters, and so on along the river, beauty ot be found everywhere. Where I lost myself in the present during that time was when my eyes chanced upon a single maple in blazing red standing all alone amongst a sea of green leaves. It was simply stunning.
Thankful for Forty 