Tag: fiction

Thankful for Mid-Life Awareness, Dominic, & Existing with the Campfire

Day 3,986

Growth:

With the big 5 – 0 slowly creeping up on me like a screaming ninja dragging three bags of empty aluminum cans and glass bottles across a bumpy concrete alley I’ve been starting to pause and consider this milestone in more detail.

What I find interesting isn’t the sensation of “oh my god, I’m so old” so much as it is a “woah, it is now pretty much guaranteed that half of my life is behind me.”  Along those lines, there is no panic of death looming ahead, no sudden “I need to make all these crazy changes,” or deep re-consideration of all of my life choices.  

It’s an oddly calm sensation, a realization of a life well lived. 

It’s a vivid reminder of just how quickly time can pass by when we aren’t paying attention to it.

It’s the thought that I should have more gratitude for each day I have, to live more intentionally.

No fear, no crazy negative feelings, no sense of suddenly being old, feeble, and unable to do the things I enjoy doing.  No panic of being in the back nine and trying to catch back up to par.  

I feel oddly refreshed.  The lint filter of my mind seems to be getting cleaned out with this rolling of the odometer.  Getting rid of the gunk so I can finish efficiently and on track.  An opportunity to pause, re-evaluate direction, and re-prioritize what I want to accomplish with the clarity of seeing the finish line. 

Mid-life crisis?  Not even fucking close.  More like mid-life intentionality?  Mid-life re-prioritizing?  Mid-life awakening?

Hmm…. Nope, none of this quite nail it.

Mid-life awareness?  That’s the sensation, the opportunity, the challenge, all in a nutshell!

Appreciation:

Gavin had me thinking about my first week of college at Michigan Tech way back in the day yesterday, funny that Dominic brought back a different set of memories today!

Dominic celebrated his 21st birthday today!  While I still think Becky should be the one celebrated for her truly heroic feats of strengths to birth Dominic, we’ll focus on the traditional celebrating of the one who was born instead.

Normally on this day each year I take time to pull up pics from throughout the past year and let them do most of the talking.  With being out in the middle of Shenandoah National Park without consistent cell coverage that’s not an option so I’ll improvise a bit.

What I’m most grateful for in Dominic is his undying positivity, his passion for helping others, his ability to lead through example, his gigantic dreams, and his love of nature.  

Dominic is almost always in a positive mood, seeing the bright side in seemingly every difficult situation.  He reminds me to pause and take a deep breath, to roll with whatever challenges may arise, and to always keep his chin up.  He always finds a way to be successful, especially when he isn’t.  Nothing can beat him and his optimism down.

He is always watching out for ways to help others – directly, indirectly, and through any support needed.  He has a servant’s heart and is always looking for ways to include the un-included.  Even when others disagree with him he looks to find ways to help bring them joy.  Ever since he was a young kid he’s been determined to help be a positive influence for others.

Dominic is very much a natural leader (though he works very diligently at it with regularity even when he doesn’t know it).  People look to him when things go sideways, he can find a plan, he stays positive, and is quick to dive in and do whatever it takes, leading by example.  There are several times  specifically in which he taught me to be a better leader and set the example I should live into (a contentious town hall meeting is one of the clearest memories).  People follow his integrity.

I don’t know many people with a dream list as robust as his, nor anyone else who is as likely to check as many of them off as he will in his lifetime.  There are no limits to his dreams, they keep growing as they have since he was young, and they will keep leading him down the right path.  He’s often inspired others to dream big, myself included!  As a result of his dreams he’s made some epic trips, knocked out some crazy hikes, and has a ton of other dreams ahead of him.  

I’d also be remiss to not mention how grateful I am for his love of the outdoors, of nature, and of all the beautiful and simple things which lay right outside our homes.  He’s a fan of getting outside, appreciates seeing the spectacular beauty in something as simple as a sunset, as dazzling as the Northern Lights, and as awesome as the mountains.  That passion for the outdoors brings so much joy to him that he can’t help but exude to others.  

There are so many reasons I am grateful for Dominic – his friendship, his humor, and so many others that it becomes difficult to focus this blog.  That said, what I appreciate the most of everything about Dominic is that he motivates and inspires me to live into a better version of myself.  How amazing is it to have a son who reminds you to be the man you are called to be?

Love you Bud!!!

Presence:

The sensation of sitting by a campfire with no goal, no tasks, no distractions.  Quietly watching the flames dance.  Letting the mind empty, becoming lost in the complete lack of pattern of the fire.  Soaking in the smells of the different types of wood burning.  Enjoying the feel of the heat on my bare legs and feet, having to back up to avoid being burned, and then slowing working my way back closer.  The letting go of stress, of emotion, of thought, of worry.  Existing with the flame.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Books That Keep Getting Bigger

Day 3,969

One of my “Top 3 Start Doing” goals was reading more deeply rather than going very wide.

Over the past handful of years my focus has been on reading a set number of books and I’ve tended to let my mind and tastes wander a bit as progressed through the year. Whenever something caught my fancy I’d pick it up and give it a shot. This let to reading many books I otherwise wouldn’t have read, but it wasn’t conducive to deeper understanding. Occasionally one would really strike a chord and I’d read it again. Much more rarely I would stumble into a book which would re-read at least once per year.

This year I decided to do something a little different. I curated a list of twenty-five books that I committed to reading three times each in 2026. These were amongst my all time favorites, but largely focused on the ones I felt would help me grow most this year, the books that would help me work on closing the gap between who I currently am and who I’d like to grow into. For sure, there are some fiction mixed in – fiction allows a chance to reality test ideas in a sandbox, an opportunity to play and explore, a different view of the world focused through a very specific lens or paradigm.

Three of the books I’ve already consumed (or in the process of reading) for the third time have gotten better every single time I’ve read them. Fight Club, No Country for Old Men, and Fahrenheit 451 have gotten better with every single re-reading of them

Some books get smaller and less significant once you know the ending. These three keep getting bigger and more meaningful.

I wouldn’t necessarily call any of them perfect books. In fact, each has a few little quirks in the writing that annoy me every single time I read it. Somehow, I think that makes me love them more. The imperfections give them character. They feel less polished, perhaps, but more alive.

Beneath the plots are questions that don’t get resolved when you reach the final page. They’re questions humans have wrestled with for most of our existence: joy, acceptance, learning, freedom, intentionality, meaning, legacy.

Maybe that’s why knowing how these stories end doesn’t diminish them. Once I stop wondering what happens next, I have more room to notice what they’re actually saying.

The “me” who is re-reading them is not the same “me” who read them each of the last times. Life has changed since the last reading. My perspectives and paradigms and priorities have likely shifted just enough to provide a slightly new lens to view them through. Maybe the last reading helped me make a subtle change and I’m now ready to make another. Maybe I didn’t learn the lesson last time, and now I see it a little more clearly, with a little more urgency.

Regardless of the reasons, each of these books holds a gravitational pull on me. I’m grateful for the way they’ve pulled me into their orbit, and for how they continue to push and pull at the way I see myself and the world.

At this point, they’ve almost created a Three Body Problem in my brain!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for the Journey, Book Webs, & a Simple Task

Day 3,633

Growth:

Two very interesting quotes about enjoying the journey, not just the destination that both echoed in my mind:

But I’d had many great moments in the last few weeks, and I couldn’t help feeling a touch of sadness at the thought that it was all over. – Sir Edmund Hillary, High Adventure

There was loneliness, too, as the sun set, but only rarely now did doubts return. Then I felt sinkingly as if my whole life lay behind me. Once on the mountain I knew (or trusted) that this would give way to total absorption with the task at hand. But at times I wondered if I had not come a long way only to find that what I really sought was something I had left behind. – Thomas F. Hornbein, Everest: The West Ridge

Appreciation:

Throughout the years the boys and I have traded many great books. We’ve all encouraged each other to pick up different titles based on our overlapping interests and have created quite a web of book reading crossover. This evening Dominic was telling us about how far he was into a specific book, one that I’d initially read and then gotten Gavin hooked on. Gavin in turn talked Dominic into picking it up. I then shared with Dominic that I was just wrapping up a book he’d referred to me, High Adventure by Sir Edmund Hillary. So many of the books the three of us have read started with one recommendation from someone else and then expanded within our family. I’m very grateful for the shared taste in reading we all have!

Presence:

There was an oddly still moment of presence this morning in a very unexpected place. While making lunch I intentionally did not have any music, audiobook, or podcast going, I was working alone and in silence. With the main ingredients slowly cooking on the stove I got into a rhythm while slicing a couple of small blocks of cheese. Without realizing it I became quickly in tune with how focused I was in that moment, how nothing else mattered, and I was enjoying such a rudimentary task with much more joy than one should expect. The task itself was not important, it was the act of being fully present in the task at hand, in the that moment. Wild, so oddly soothing and gratifying!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Thought Provoking Quote from Fiction, Productive Days, & More Time in the Woods

Day 3,192

Growth:

Sometimes some incredible ideas and thoughts can be generated by reading fiction. Throughout this year I’ve been taking more time to jot down some of the insights and quotes I’ve picked up from each book I read, fiction included. The fiction series Gavin turned me onto, Red Rising, hit me with a couple of great ones within the span of a page this weekend. Here is one of the nuggets I took note of:


“We all have our own tides inside.  They go in, out.  Not really ours to control.  The things, people that orbit us do that.  At least more than we’d like to admit.”

Pierce Brown, Golden Son

The quote really hit me between the eyes on a couple of levels. The concept of having an internal tide of emotion flowing through us was a new thought to me, so fitting in so many ways. I initially stopped reading after the “not really ours to control” part and re-read it several times. So true, there is an ebb and flow to my emotions that does feel out of my control. There is much of the moment by moment choice I can make, but the metaphor of a tide is so spot on, there is something deeper that sometimes it seems I need to swim stronger against or that puts the wind at my back. Throw in the last two lines and it grows even more true and accurate.

So thankful for taking the time to jot some of these quotes and notes down as I read, they provide wonderful fodder for future thought and contemplation.

Appreciation:

This has ben a wildly full and productive day. From waking up early-ish for a Sunday, to knocking out a quick walk after breakfast to wear out the pup, to getting stuff done around the house, to wrapping up the last details of our Grand Canyon backpacking trip, to church, to hiking, to making and enjoying dinner with both boys and their girlfriends, to spending time on the deck relaxing, to now typing up my blog it has been a nonstop rail to rail day. Busy as all get out, but a wonderful balance of productivity with a bit of present and future relaxation all built in.

During days like this I sometimes think back to how many weekend days I wasted in my youth, sitting on my butt inside, playing a video game or watching TV, and not accomplishing anything. What I would give for the opportunity to have some of those days back. Alas, I can’t, and that’s okay. I can remember this feeling and be sure to maximize the remaining time I have. I can live into purpose, I can remember to relax but in a way which is still of benefit to my goals and dreams, and I can make the most of each today I am blessed to have. So much more joy is created in days of busy productivity like this than lazy days wasted on nothing.

Here’s to days like this to motivate me to live into my best self, the reminder of wasted days of youth as fuel for the fire, and for remembering to enjoy and appreciate each moment I’m blessed to live.

Presence:

So much outside time this weekend, so many moments of presence in nature! Our hike today was a sweet little jaunt through Great River Bluffs State Park. Becky and I took Leia and enjoyed some of the most prime hiking weather one could ask for. The sun was out, the sky was blue, the temperature was in the low 70’s, the light breeze was just enough to keep the bugs away, and the area we walked was just wooded enough that each step included a little bit of both sun and shade. All the birds, squirrels, and even a deer made an appearance as we walked. Such beauty and stillness in the woods!

Thanks!!!