I know, I just wrote about my reading list last night, but it really stuck with me again today! As I started to re-re-read Once a Runner by John L. Parker the reasons I added this book to the list came roaring back almost immediately. The entire story is built on the main character, Quenton Cassidy, and his nonstop grit that powers him towards his dream. Throughout the book one can’t help but get motivated and want to get out on a run, letting the legs fly, and enjoying every moment of it.
More importantly, there is the nonstop drive, the resilience, the grit that keeps showing over and over and over again. The quote below is one instance of that lesson driven home.
The only true way is to marshal the ferocity of your ambition over the course of many days, weeks, months, and (if you could finally come to accept it) years. The Trial of Miles; Miles of Trials.
Once a Runner, John L. Parker
The story itself is fantastic, a little out there, a bit obvious, but pulls me in tight through each reading. Definitely a sweatshirt book if I’ve ever read one! Three times this year will be enough for this one, but it will be back again in 2027 for sure.
Appreciation & Presence:
Last night as I was prepping for bed I stumbled across these two photos:
Two photos of our boys on our 2018 family trip to Isle Royale National Park with a pit stop at Split rock Lighthouse north of Duluth. Both pics show them taking in the moment: stillness and absorption in wonder in one, active and enjoying the world around them in the other. In both they are looking ahead, seeing the world, exploring the life that lay ahead of them.
In front of them the landscape looks timeless and vast, never-ending even as it disappears into the horizon, but these photos remind us of how fleeting those moments were. At the time we were out exploring, hiking, laughing, and creating memories together. None of us realized just how quickly those moments would fly by.
Becky and I wanted to take them to places out in nature and outdoors so they would grow up knowing that there is so much wonder to be found in the world, so much life to explore, and that those moments are made all the better when shared with loved ones.
Here we are eight years later and they’ve both moved out and are off to college. They’ve each started making their own paths in the world, and we couldn’t be more proud of the young men they have grown into.
As I look back so fondly on these photos I realize the moments they hold are like insects suspended in amber, memories preserved forever. The nature and views are majestic and full of wonder, but what I love the most are the reminders of all of those moments we shared together as a family, the experiences side by side.
There are times I wish I could go back in time and sit on the bench beside them, looking out over the seeming infinity of Lake Superior together. I wish I could pick up rocks on the shoreline and skip them across the lake together. Those moments have passed, but I’m grateful for being present in each of them them while it was happening.
All of this was going through my head as I lay in bed looking at those two photos last night, happy tears streaming down my face. I was so moved by the memories, so appreciative of the chance to have created them.
Then I had another thought. I paused, swallowed hard, and pulled up one more photo, and then the tears flowed more…
I just stared at Dad’s face, the smile on it as he created a love-filled memory with his son, while his son created a love-filled memory with his sons.
As I stared at that picture of us in the treehouse we had just built together, I wept. That treehouse, those trips, raising those boys: none of it happened in a single day. It was our own Trial of Miles, built moment by moment over years that went by far too fast. And Dad walked those miles with me long before I walked them with my boys. What he gave me in that treehouse, I tried to give them on the shores of Lake Superior.
Now I can’t wait for all the adventures Becky and I still have ahead with our boys, all the moments we have yet to share.
My heart is so full of joy, gratitude, and love that it feels about to burst. I’ve been so blessed to have shared so many moments with those I love, and I am grateful for each of them.
LOL – this one is going to sound interesting, but I’m thankful for the moments when I stop myself from sounding like my dad. For sure, Dad was my hero, someone I looked up to greatly and respected tremendously, but there was something he did that used to drive me bonkers… In the moments in which I catch myself I know he’s smiling while simultaneously rolling his eyes.
Dad was a master of asking me to help, not sharing any direction, taking on the work himself, and then getting frustrated when I couldn’t read his mind. This was usually manifest in the moments in which he was trying to manipulate two or more large pieces of wood in a very short period of time with very serious long term impacts if done correctly. I would do what I thought he would want, he woudl say it was wrong and not give direction, I would guess again, and I would be told I was wrong while he grunted, worked three times as hard, and somehow got the work done while being frustrated.
Sadly, I hate to admit it, but I was way too good of a learner of that habit! I’ve caught myself often doing the same thing, getting just as frustrated, and then laughing at myself for being a moron afterwards. The more aware of this tendency I have become the earlier I start laughing at myself.
This morning I caught myself long before it happened, chuckled out lout, and then had to explain the entire story to a couple of teammates.
Take a deep breath, communicate clearly on what needs to be done, allow time for questions, and then take action. Everyone will be much happier AND the project will be done correctly.
Appreciation:
Gavin has been sharing a few of his college application essays with us over the past week. Each has left me smiling from ear to ear, so proud of the person he has grown into! While I won’t get into the topics (those are his to share), I can say that my heart is beyond full today. Having this opportunity to look at the world through his eyes has been enlightening and rewarding!
Presence:
During a lull in our onsite hiring event my teammates and I got into a conversation on traveling to Iceland – one of my all time favorite conversation topics, no doubt! As we talked about different things to see and experience there my mind kept racing back to the memories created from our trips there. The pictures and videos I shared with the team put me back into those moments, re-living the memory while sharing it with others.
The investment in vacation and travel to create memories and be present – always well worth it!
Technology can really help us build connections when used correctly. Today we were able to FaceTime with each of the boys, yesterday we did the same with all four of us at the same time, even though we’re in different states and continents currently! Gavin was able to share pictures and jokes via our favorite social media messenger app. Throughout the day Dominic, Gavin, and I shared music we each enjoyed. Gavin sent all of us pics of all the sights he has seen in Germany. Becky and I used technology the right way for us while hiking, we shut it off completely and enjoyed conversation without electronics. When used the right way (and turned off often), what a gift technology is!
Appreciation:
This afternoon I was removing some old boards form our deck. It was build by Dad and I about twenty years ago and one of my projects for next year is to build a new deck. As I started taking it apart this afternoon I couldn’t help but think back often to the time I spent with Dad building it in the first place. I initially felt a little sad about taking apart something we’d built together, but I quickly realized that what we built together many years ago was not what I was taking apart now. This was only the deck, old beaten up and weathered boards. What we’d built back then were poignant memories of working together, of enjoying each other’s company, and of spending time with each other. The boards may be removed, but the memories not be erased.
So many moments of learning to work together as we built that deck! We learned about how much wood we could actually load into his pickup. We then found out that there was a weird policy at the store we bought it from and one of us had to stay with half the load while the other delivered the first load, unloaded it at the house, and then drove back. I personally learned why it is not a good idea to pull out too rapidly with a truck bed full of decking materials. Dad learned how much he would have appreciated having a cell phone to figure out what was taking me so long to come back for the second load as I was re-loading the lumber into the truck from off the pavement in a somewhat busy road. As you can imagine, as we traded stories afterwards we laughed and laughed! What wonderful memories the entire project was!
The things we build with our hands will eventually age and turn into dust and ash. The time we spend with loved ones making memories will burn in our souls forever.
Presence:
I kind of feel like this is becoming a bit of a broken record, but getting outside and hiking the trails with Becky to start off the day is pretty epic! Nothing quite like the fresh air and exercise while enjoying the views from the bluffs. Certainly my happy place, the trails. A couple of specific moments really stuck out. Standing atop Miller’s Bluff and taking in the view of the city below and river, woods, and bluff surrounding. Catching a spectacular fall scent form the leaves, almost a spicy old cigar box kind of smell (you gotta trust me, it is a wonderful aroma!). Throw in focused time with Becky and I talking as we hike and I couldn’t ask for much more than that!
I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve watched the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. Sometime around the holidays it ends up getting played in our house, just like clockwork. Each time I start to watch I kind of groan a bit and halfheartedly look for a distraction. Tonight Becky fired it up and I found myself gravitationally pulled towards the living room to watch it with her. Even though we didn’t finish the movie tonight due to a band concert it seemed worthy to write my blog tonight around the theme of It’s a Wonderful Life.
Growth:
No one steps in the same river twice. Today I was reminded of how the same concepts land differently with the changes lived through life. There were different spots resonating more deeply than ever before, just as other things had done in each of the past viewings. What I’m impressed by most is the ability of the movie to capture so many common emotions at so many different levels. Each time watching it is like a whole new experience
Appreciation:
As mentioned above there’s always something a little different that hits home each time I watch It’s a Wonderful Life. Based on a handful of reasons I’ll keep to myself on this one I was almost sobbing she I caught this short scene…
What incredibly powerful words those are below the picture of Pa Bailey. The words are never spoken, just shown in the bottom corner of the screen for only a few seconds, and can be so easily missed. Blended with emotions building over the past couple of weeks and my mind and heart have been stuck on this concept all night. What a gift this movie still gives after more than 75 years. A dozen words, a lifetime of wisdom.
All you can take with you is that which you give away.
Presence:
There’s something special about sharing emotions and tears with a spouse / significant other / loved one. More than once we both sniffled together and caught each other looking to the other for emotional support and validation of our shared feelings. Knowing that we are in tune with each other at such a deep emotional level is a profoundly powerful sensation.
After the late night drive home from Wausau on Tuesday night I had a run to catch up for this morning. Becky was lifting so I was off for a solo run in the early hours of the morning. I put on my headphones, turned on some relatively chill music, and went off at my own pace. Within a block I caught myself drifting into a deeply meditative state while rambling along on my run. My miles were complete before I knew it and I felt an awesomely odd combination of rested and energized. Runs like this help me understand the “marathon monks,” the monks who meditate while running well over 20 miles each day. Once I was locked in seemed to pass by at an otherworldy pace. What a way to start the day!
At one point in the day I happened across a quote from Viktor Frankl as I wrapped up a presentation I’ve been working on.
This quote got a smile out of me. The presentation I’ve been working on is outside the normal staffing presentations I’ve done so often. This one is an eighteen minute TED-style talk about the importance of minding the GAP – Growth, Appreciation, & Presence – in order to live a life with no regrets. It is the purpose I found through the suffering of losing Dad almost five years ago. So fitting that it found its way into my presentation.
The past several books I’ve read (outside of 1984 & Permanent Record) have all leaned towards something I’ve always known but am just now starting to understand. As I see the connections and intersections of the concepts my view of my business purpose seems to be gathering momentum and rolling down the right track. In a meeting with teammates today it just spilled out of me in a steady stream… and felt amazing! Tribal Leadership talked about someone who commented that when you find the right purpose it works through you at a very different level than when you attempt to work on it. This afternoon I felt a brief glimpse of the difference they were talking about. Simply amazing. So excited to see where this continues to grow!
Wowza, where do I even begin today? The day has been packed with so many gratitude filled moments, I’m definitely going with a conglomerate of appreciation. Even in this fashion my biggest hope is that I don’t miss one of the key moments.
My Winona team and I had our monthly Think Day and it was one I’ll remember forever. We helped each other work out some very important things and bond more as a team. Seeing the growth everyone has had over the past handful of months was incredible. There is a magic to teams in which you feel 100% comfortable being who you are, sharing emotions as you would with family, and supporting each other throughout all of life. I’m blessed to be a member of a couple of those teams.
In a moment of reflection I found an awesome way to honor Dad and help continue his legacy. Taking action on it this week has been more rewarding than I could have ever dreamt. More details to follow on May 26th. 😉
I finished reading 1984 today, fitting seeing as this is blog 1,984. This was the first time I can remember having a profoundly visceral wave of nausea strictly from reading. As I said a couple of nights ago, if you haven’t read it for a while you may want to pick it up. Mindblowingly impactful on numerous levels.
Gavin’s parent teacher conference this evening was incredible. During the last one he found a couple of things to work on and he totally crushed them over the past quarter. Hearing the glowing reviews of his teachers was music for my soul. Gavin’s leadership skills, focus, and growth make me burst with pride. Excellent work bud! Love you dude!
Becky’s brother, Matt, is in the Paralympics in Beijing for curling and I wanted to make sure we have everything set up to watch his matches live on TV. In doing so we happened to stumble across the preview pic for the match… and it was Matt!!! How wild is that??? Seeing someone we know and love on our TV was crazy! Super proud of him and so pumped to see how he and his team do.
Two wonderful reasons to remember to listen today, both for very different reasons.
The first was remembering to listen rather than react. My mind quickly races to an answer, long before a question is asked. If I react too quickly I miss hearing the correct question and answer incorrectly. Pause, listen, think, and then respond if necessary. Too often I’ve responded when response was needed. Today reminded me of the power of listening completely and then responding in due time. Remember to listen rather than react.
The second was remembering to listen closely and attentively in the stillness. The voice can be heard anytime, but I must find stillness to hear it. Create space, eliminate noise, and listen with more than my ears. In that space if I listen closely with my soul I will hear the call. Remember to listen closely in the stillness.
Two simple lessons, both profound. Remember to listen, the reward is so much greater than talking and responding.
Two wonderful reasons to remember to listen today, both for very different reasons.
The first was remembering to listen rather than react. My mind quickly races to an answer, long before a question is asked. If I react too quickly I miss hearing the correct question and answer incorrectly. Pause, listen, think, and then respond if necessary. Too often I’ve responded when response was needed. Today reminded me of the power of listening completely and then responding in due time. Remember to listen rather than react.
The second was remembering to listen closely and attentively in the stillness. The voice can be heard anytime, but I must find stillness to hear it. Create space, eliminate noise, and listen with more than my ears. In that space if I listen closely with my soul I will hear the call. Remember to listen closely in the stillness.
Two simple lessons, both profound. Remember to listen, the reward is so much greater than talking and responding.
Dominic is starting to work on his Eagle Scout project. The potential project includes creating a dog park in our neighborhood. The first step before he can even put his proposal together is to ask all the nearby home owners if they would be okay with that.
No worries, Dominic just put on his Scout uniform, grabbed his notepad, and started knocking on doors. How wild is that? Even better, he doesn’t know who more than half the people are! Dominic is basically going out and doing cold calls voluntarily in support of a good cause.
That simple action makes me so proud. It’s be so easy to take the easy way out and find a different project, use a over, or some other form of communication. Nope, he’s grabbing the bull by the horns and has received some tremendous feedback already.
One more reason I’m proud of Dominic, he understands that some of the best things in life lay well beyond the point of discomfort. Never give in to fear when courage is the right answer.
As the pieces come together on my writing I’m continually grateful for this journey. Losing Dad was the most difficult time of my life to date. The pain can still be raw at times. I often wish for an opportunity to have a few more minutes with him, another conversation, or another hug. The sense of loss will never leave my soul.
What’s interesting is that the more I write the more my thoughts shift from loss to gratitude for the time I had with Dad. So many wonderful moments, memories, and experiences with him. I am so fortunate to have had Dad in my life.
The more I write the more memories come back. The more I write those memories down the more memories that also rise up to the surface. And so it goes.
In many ways this journey has brought me closer to Dad. I’m seeing more clearly the impact he’s had on my life and the legacy I hope to leave my boys. As I write I’m seeing the good and the bad, what I’d love to grow into and the gaps I need to cross.
LOL – my hair, his mustache… two things we’d both like to forget 😉
All the while I know Dad is with me in this journey. I can feel him supporting and guiding me. We do this together. It isn’t my story I am writing, it is our story we’re writing. Each step is a smile, a discovery, a lesson, and a moment I’m grateful for.
