Day 3,987

Growth:

While hiking today there were two thoughts my mind became a little fixated on.

Isn’t it interesting that when we walk on level and flat terrain it is so easy to daydream?  We can almost coast and let muscle memory do the work while we allow our brains to drift off.  As soon as there are roots and rocks and water and sudden drops and cliffs we become hyper focused, fully attentive to our surroundings.

How much of my life has been lived the same way?  When times of ease and simplicity abound it becomes so easy to drift with the surroundings and lose focus.  When difficult times are faced I can’t help but hyper focus.  Where is the proper balance?  How best should I maintain it?  What’s the right way to keep the intentionality and presence high?

The second thought is this – the flow of time in the outdoors is different.  Each moment feels longer and more drawn out as I take in the details of the woods.  Each hour seems to quickly disappear, three hours pass me by and yet I feel I’ve only been gone for thirty minutes.

The paradox of time in hiking in nature, the moments are so long, the hours are so short.

Appreciation:

I’m very grateful for the shared passion for travel Becky and I have.  The travel itself doesn’t need to be crazy or ridiculous, it can be near or far.  The trip could be as short as a day and as long as a month, the act of traveling has brought about so many perspectives for me that I likely never would have known.  In sharing this passion we both are able to grow while also continuing to grow together.

A quote I read on this current trip caught my attention and has been resonating through my mind.  “The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes,” Marcel Proust.  The act of getting outside my normal life, outside of the way I always look at the same small corner of the world I inhabit allows me the opportunity to see all of it so differently.  My perspectives are changed, my lens cleaned, and my preconceived ideas are tectonically shifted.

As a case in point, this trip has really focused my mind on the Civil War, the reasons behind it, the tragic loss of life as a result, the power of ego and the power of feeling “justified.”  Learning about how Shenandoah National Park decided to open a segregated section for people of color only to have whites complain that they were not being treated as well before the park finally desegregated in 1960.  

My heart breaks when I consider that only 150 years ago many people thought it was okay and their God given right to OWN other humans and that only 65 years ago the park was desegregated.  How was anyone ever capable of deluding themselves into thinking so highly of themselves and showing so little dignity and respect for others?  

This trip has brought so much of these thoughts closer to the surface and cause me to see the world differently, hopefully enough to keep my sense of hurt raw enough to use it for good cause, to help everyone show more love for their fellow humans. 

Had I travelled to these places alone I would still likely have been moved, having travelled them with Becky helps me preserve and hold onto all I’ve experienced, helps me keep my new eyes fresh.

Presence:

Our hike this morning was an ongoing moment of presence.  We started hiking towards Dark Hollow Falls and Rose Falls around 8am and were the only vehicle in the entire parking lot.  From the point we started descending until only moments from reaching our destination miles later we were completely alone in the woods.  

We experienced Dark Hollow Falls completely alone, no one else nearby.  The opportunity to pause, take in the majesty, breathe, enjoy quiet time soaking it all up, and observing it from various angles without any distractions or noise was exceptional.  

By the time we reached Rose Falls we’d encountered three other hikers coming from a different direction, and we had these falls all to ourselves as well.  Sitting and standing on the rock wall watching the water rush over, I couldn’t even guess how long we were there – maybe 5 minutes, maybe 15 minutes.  We just sat quietly and enjoyed the stillness of being in front of something that was here long before us and that will continue to be here long after us.  All alone, savoring the stillness.  

It wasn’t until we were within a mile of the end of the trail that we started encountering people again. First one, then a small family, then a handful of groups, and then a seemingly endless procession of people heading down as we got closer to the parking lot.

All those moments alone in the quiet stillness of that sacred place, wandering heaven on Earth.

Thanks!!!

Day 3,985

Growth:

A few years ago Becky and I decided to put “getting a camper van” into our goals for a title ways out as a present to ourselves for raising both of the boys to adulthood.  The goal was to be measured by dropping Gavin off at college, meaning that he was supposed to be able to adult himself if needed.  About a year in we realized that the cards were lining up a little too well and we should pull the trigger sooner than later.  In the way that life often does, we realized a couple of years after buying it that the timing couldn’t have been better – finances were exactly where they needed to be, there was no worry about job security, and the market had offered up some incredible deals due to the overproduction of campervans during and following COVID.  Had we waited a year we likely would have passed on the entire endeavor, probably waiting until “the timing was right.”

What got me thinking today is how glad I am to have bought it when we did.  Now knowing how the past couple of years have worked out we definitely could have bought it when we did had we known the future, but we likely would have been way to scared to actually pull the trigger, constantly thinking “but what if…”

How often in life do I hesitate out of an overabundance of caution when I should be moving forward?  How often do I skip taking the risk that really could have made all the difference?  When should I take the leap and trust that it will all work out and be okay?  Just last night didn’t I blog about Dad’s confidence in his ability to figure things out – whether on his own or with the help of others?  Where is that gusto in me?  Why do I hesitate?

One more reason for me to be grateful for the campervan – it is an ongoing reminder to take the leap, take the educated risk.  It will all work out, and even if it doesn’t… I’ll figure out a way to make it all work out.

Appreciation:

Once Becky and I got to Shenandoah NP today we decided to do exactly what we both love to do.  We found a couple of trails on the way to our campsite, put on our hiking shoes, and hiked our way to some spectacular sights top the ridge.  

There was no question of our physical ability, we just decided where to go and did it. There was no pausing to consider if it was too far, too steep, or anything like that, we just hit the trail.  Even as we went up the decent elevation increase my heart rate only sped up a little, never going into the yellow zone or beyond, staying nice and chill.  My breathing stayed pretty regular, largely through my nose, only increasing a little on some of the steeper sections.  For sure – I am not bragging up my physical abilities, there are many who put me to shame.  The reason I bring this up is that it is so freeing and liberating to know that as I approach 50 I don’t have to stress whether or not my body can handle what I want to do.

What I’m most grateful for today are the regular habits that keep me ready and able to do what I want to do like this.  My hiking.  Our three runs each week.  Our one (hopefully soon to be two) nights of yoga to build balance and stability.  The way we often get out for a hike or a walk after a large meal like we did this evening.  It would be so easy to skip each of these things and just veg out on the couch or stare at a screen.  By doing these small actions I’m able to do the big things I want to do.  In doing these small actions I find so much more joy and reward from doing the work, from putting in the reps.  There is so much more purpose in there, I often find I enjoy the reps as much of almost more than the hiking itself!

Cheers to the small sacrifices, the simple habits, and all of the things that allow me to live into my best life on the trails!

Presence:

Sitting atop a rock in the sun in Shenandoah.  Taking in the sweeping vistas across the valley from an overlook on the hill.  Quiet calm, no distractions.  Savoring the feel of the cool breeze blowing across my face and arms.  Relaxing and sharing a smile with Becky as we just sit and exist together on the rocks.  Stillness and calm.

Thanks!!!