Similar to last night, every person climbs their own mountain. What’s most important is intentionally choosing which mountain to climb.
Choose the mountain, make the climb, adjust as needed, put in the reps to reach the summit.
Appreciation:
So grateful for the time spent with my brother, talking, joking, philosophizing. Seeing the similarities, sharing the stories, strengthening the bond between us. Time for the two of us apart from the world, an opportunity to grow more firmly into the brothers we were meant to be.
Presence:
Several moments of quiet bliss ascending the peak, thousand foot drops on either side, pelted by pellets of snow, buffered by the high velocity wind. Total calm and peace in the quiet stillness of a soul at peace doing what it was meant to do, living in moments of awe and wonder.
As I walked alone on the mountain today this quote rang through my soul.
“The secret of the mountain is that the mountains simply exist, as I do myself: the mountains exist simply, which I do not. The mountains have no “meaning,” they are meaning; the mountains are. The sun is round. I ring with life, and the mountains ring, and when I can hear it, there is a ringing that we share. I understand all this, not in my mind but in my heart, knowing how meaningless it is to try to capture what cannot be expressed, knowing that mere words will remain when I read it all again, another day.” Peter Matthiessen, The Snow Leopard
As I basked in the majesty and the glory of the mountains around me I felt their simplicity, I heard their music.
Appreciation:
A day on the mountain, an experience shared with my brother, small doses of quiet time alone on the trails. Time reflect. An opportunity to take in the beauty of nature. Such a wonderful day!
Presence:
So much of the day was spent in a state of awe and wonder, presence was almost always with me.
The mountains, the golden colored aspen, the lakes, the wildlife, talking with my brother, the sensations in my legs, all of it led to an extended state of presence.
We all face the same challenges, obstacles, and set backs – they are all just dressed up in slightly different costumes. The actual things may be different, but the themes remain.
Ego. Money. Purpose. Relationships. Expectations. Values. Resilience. Fear. Opportunity. Confidence. And so many more.
It seems as if it is easier to treat each other with the love we all hope to receive when we pause and remember we all face the same through different experiences.
Appreciation:
One of my goals for the year was to go on eight shared mini-adventures. There was no detail on distance, activity, or participants. The intent was to live more fully into one of the things that really makes me me – sharing time with others in the outdoors. This also challenged me to plan ahead and work with others as this was not something I could accomplish on my own, I needed others to buy into this concept with me.
Now, as I lay on my inflatable bed in the front of the campervan I can’t help but be grateful for putting this goal on paper. It’s led to a few more adventures with loved ones, adventures likely not had if not for the goal.
Presence:
Finishing up making dinner, walking over to sit at the picnic table with my brother, only to find him staring in awe and wonder at the Colorado scenery surrounding us. The slight smile, the eyes taking everything in, the glow of someone experiencing a moment of presence and joy.
Three weeks later and I am back to the shores of Lake Superior. The calming waters, so blue in the sun as we arrived before sunset. After supper we walked back there from our campsite, taking the photo above while pausing to appreciate the magnificent view and the reflection of the moon.
All around are the scents of the northwoods in fall, of leaves, of campfires stoked by firewood cut from pine. Interesting how the nose can start to figure out the different scents of smoke based on the wood on the fire.
The air is cool and the temperature is continuing to drop. Perfect sweatshirt weather.
Relaxing in the campervan as I wind down for an early bed, about to read for a bit to slow my mind. In the morning we’re back up and at it, heading out for an early morning hike before an entire day spent enjoying the area.
So grateful for one more trip up to Lake Superior this year, a little slice of heaven on Earth.
Well, I’m thinking this might be a little more common over the next few days as I read more and more of The Speaker for the Dead. There is no question that it is one of my all time favorites as I discussed yesterday. So many nuggets of wisdom, so many themes that wind slowly throughout.
This was one of the quotes that really stuck out to me today, a quote about giving oneself grace. This theme is interwoven throughout the entire novel in so many ways with so many characters. We’ve all made mistakes, have regrets for actions we’ve taken and actions we didn’t take when we should have.
This quote reminds me that the me who made those mistakes is not the me who is realizing that the mistakes were made, to remember to focus on the me who is here now, who is different, who is changed, as a result.
A strange thing happened then. The Speaker agreed with her that she had made a mistake that night, and she knew when he said the words that it was true, that his judgment was correct. And yet she felt strangely healed, as if simply speaking her mistake were enough to purge some of the pain of it. For the first time, then, she caught a glimpse of what the power of speaking might be. It wasn’t a matter of confession, penance, and absolution, like the priests offered. It was something else entirely. Telling the story of who she was, and then realizing that she was no longer the same person. That she had made a mistake, and the mistake had changed her, and now she would not make the mistake again because she had become someone else, someone less afraid, someone more compassionate.
If I’m not that frightened girl who heard her brother in desperate pain and dared not go to him, who am I? But the water flowing through the grillwork under the fence held no answers. Maybe she couldn’t know who she was today. Maybe it was enough to know that she was no longer who she was before.
Orson Scott Card, The Speaker for the Dead
Appreciation:
A full and productive day at work hot off the heels of a nonstop day of adulting had me worn out for sure. All good, a productive worn out, but worn down nonetheless.
Getting home to Becky back was awesome! We’re both pretty tired, but it just feels more like home when she’s here, no question.
At 6:15 the two of us hopped onto one of our twice a week family FaceTime sessions with the boys, the four of us all getting together even though we’re separated by about 16 hours of drive time. Those moments shared catching up with each other were amazing, though we’re far apart we’re able to stay connected. Many jokes, laughs, updates, and so on – so much love on the call.
Today I’m thankful for all of the people who help home feel like home, for the time shared with family to help re-energize and remind me of why I do all that I do.
Presence:
My morning drive was again the source of my presence inspiration today. The weather was just too perfect of a “driving in the morning while the sun is coming up and keep the music blasting while drinking my coffee” kind of weather!
With the windows down the cool air blew through the car, the fog intermittently hid and exposed the sun, providing a very intriguing combo of sunlight and dreary all at once.
I sang aloud to a little Audioslave (I am the Highway) and several different Rural Alberta Advantage bangers while occasionally pausing to drink coffee in the guitar solos.
All in the world was at peace, no stress, no worries, no looking ahead, no looking back, only the moment I was in as the highway laid out before me.
“And it’s true,” thought Valentine. “I’m not the same person, really, from book to book, because each world changes who I am, even as I write down the story of the world. And this world most of all.”
Orson Scott Card, Speaker for the Dead
As I read Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card for the seventh time this quote has resonated in my brain.
Each reading of this story adds depth, each reading uncovers previously missed concepts and connections. While the book remains the same, I continue to change, I see the path differently each time. Each reading shifts who I am a little.
Appreciation:
I’m typing this from bed, ready to crash and start all over again long before sunrise. I am exhausted.
The entire day has been spent adulting. Working, driving, and all the other “ings” related to being an adult. I’ve had about ten minutes of downtime except for my meals and a FaceTime with Becky.
I am exhausted, but also very fulfilled. I lived into purpose today. I busted my ass today. I got shit done today. I left it all on the field today.
That feeling of exhaustion after hitting it this hard is fantastic!
Presence:
My ride to work this morning was loaded with a playlist of some of my favorite music. The songs were not a collection of relentlessly optimistic and cheerful music, quite the opposite. There was frustration, longing, regret, time passing, heart ache, looking backwards, trying to figure out what really matters.
And somehow, I felt incredibly happy. Not happy in spite of the songs, but, in a strange way, because of them.
Driving along this morning, I realized I wasn’t listening to sadness and becoming sad. I was simply noticing how much there is to feel in a life. Love can hurt. People and moments pass. Roads take us away from places we once belonged. We carry scars from things that mattered. And that’s okay.
At one point I laughed at myself because my shuffle apparently decided that subtle emotional damage was the breakfast special. But underneath all of it was this surprising current of joy.
I’m here. Driving to work. Watching the morning pass outside the windshield. Listening to songs that remind me of all the beautiful, complicated, ridiculous things that come with being alive.
Maybe presence isn’t always about quieting everything down. Sometimes it’s turning the music up and realizing that sadness, joy, nostalgia, hope, heartbreak and gratitude can all ride in the same car.
Life is life. And this morning, I was really happy to be here for it.
Sometimes the best thing we can do is take a deep breath, admit we are exhausted, and go to bed early to recharge. That’s the name of the game for me this evening. My mind is now mush, I need to get rested back up to be sure to bring forth the energy I need for a ridiculously busy day tomorrow!
Appreciation:
Today I was reminded of all of the resources at my disposal at work to help develop solutions to difficult challenges. From past notes and experiences to online resources to professional cohorts to AI to books to other digital resources there were so many ways I was able to pull my thoughts together to create a unique solution to a unique opportunity. The ability to utilize so many resources helped to engineer a huge win, one likely not possible without all the help!
Presence:
Realizing my brain was overloaded with too many thoughts rumbling through my brain at once, I took a pause. I closed my laptop, sat down, set a timer for five minutes, closed my eyes, and did nothing but breathe. Within a few breaths my mind was calm and still.
At every moment we have the opportunity to choose presence, to bring our focus intentionally into the present.
When the opportunity to live into the values you know you should model for others presents itself be sure to jump right on it. This came up a couple of times, and each time I had to pause to make sure I was making the right call. Each actoin was a little uncomfortable for different reasons, but I was grateful for each.
I’m thinking there’s a little something to that… the more we know our values and purpose the more we can live into that person, the more comfortable we become with the discomfort as we know it is coming from the right place. How do I remind myself of this in the future so it becomes an immediate reaction rather than a delayed response?
Appreciation:
My evening spent snuggling with a dog, running the zoomies out of a dog, and then walking a dog. Outside of the dog time I’ve had time to relax, breathe, and take in some time to myself. Definitely missing Becky, but after the nonstop week that was last week the quiet respite feels exquisite. I’m currently listening to music and chilling out as I blog, recounting the day lazily, a long task list ready for tomorrow night, but an evening of calm tonight.
Presence:
Getting in a morning run while talking about life, nothing crazy, upcoming work, our next adventure… All while enjoying a perfectly cool fall weather day. The scent of autumn all around, even in the dark we can tell the leaves are starting to change. Spending some time together while the rest of the world sleeps before Becky heads out of town for a work trip. A wonderful start to the day!
Over the past 87 hours or so there are some interesting stats:
2,151 miles, 32 hours and 55 minutes of drive time across five states
Two ridiculous hikes encompassing over 10 miles and 5,097 feet of ascent
Two 14,000′ mountains summited (Mt Blue Sky and Mt Sherman) and one almost 14’er (Mt Spalding)
One snowstorm atop the summit
One shower, and it was in a laundromat in Leadville, CO
Amongst the things that I am unable to accurately count:
Many breathtaking views of aspen changing color in the mountains
Several animals including a moose, bighorn sheep, a couple mountain goats, marmots, and deer
So many laughs and stories shared with my brother
Countless new memories and jokes created with my brother
Incredibly grateful for the nonstop ridiculous long weekend road trip with my brother, one of our greatest bonding times yet, looking forward to the next!
Why make several decisions when you can make one or two that settle all the rest? Remember to pause, consider which decisions really need to be made and when, which one or two would make all the difference, and then let ‘er rip! Life is so much easier when there is clarity and there is usually an unfair leverage advantage to be gained somewhere. Choose that one!
Appreciation:
Life becomes more and more interesting when we live more intentionally, when we focus on living into what we really want. There were examples on both sides of this today – why it is helpful and how it can be harmful to not have that rudder. When I know what I want out of life it seems like life is a little more clear, it’s a little easier to see where to point the tip of the canoe. Everything seems to flow in the right direction, even getting hung up on the rocks ends up only adding a little extra adventure!
Today I’m grateful for my focus, the ongoing drive towards certain objectives. Some may be closer than others, but they are all slowly but surely getting closer.
Presence:
Running with Becky early this morning was particularly refreshing. The weather was nice, our conversation engaging, and it just felt good sharing time together while we ran. Nothing crazy or special, no super deep conversation or anything like that – just time together on the road, time together outdoors, time together being active, and time together free of interruption. A perfect start to the day!
