When viewed correctly and the worked on with an action plan rejection is only a speed bump on the road to success. Learn from it, react to it, and keep moving forward.
Appreciation:
Dominic may be in college but we’re still holding onto traditions like cutting down the Christmas tree together. Today Leia joined us for her first time. We also got to see Gavin cut the tree most of the way and the Dominic threw a rugby tackle at it and knocked it down! So much fun finding those moments and enjoying our family traditions.
Presence:
This afternoon the boys went outside and threw the football and rugby ball around in the park across the street. Watching the two of them enjoy some brother time like that was totally heartwarming! I am so appreciative of those moments when I have the opportunity to experience the two of them together like that.
There’s never quite enough time to get everything done that I will want to get done. Consider what is most important, create a prioritization of what must be done first, and then have the discipline to complete those tasks first prior to moving on to the next. Remember that it will never ALL be done, I will have to say NO to some things in order to make time for the most important things. Prioritize, but know what is most important first. Learn to be more okay with not being able to do it all, maybe even find a way to turn saying no to things into a game to help stay focused on accepting that.
Today I wanted to get it all done, then I realized I could only get some done, and in the end I was actually able to complete even less… and that’s okay.
Appreciation:
Becky and Gavin are home from France and Dominic is home from school – our family is complete at home again!!! This evening we ate as a family, went through vacation pictures as a family, and joked around and enjoyed time as a family. After having a very quiet house for the better part of a week it was such a welcome change of pace to have every family member home and engaged.
As a bonus – I am beyond glowing due to the spectacular time Becky and Gavin had in France!!! So appreciative for the experiences they shared and the memories they were able to create together. The smiles and joy they had on their faces all night were priceless and reminders to me of how important it is for us to have family time as a full family AND to have family time one on one with each other in order to help grow and strengthen our individual bonds along with the entire family. This time around it was Becky and Gavin enjoying life in Europe together and seeing deeply meaningful pieces of history and culture together. Based on their first round of stories they had an awesome time! Their smiles were priceless!!!
Presence:
Dominic and I had quite the conversation about both science and leadership this morning on our drive back to La Crosse! He was filling me in on what was going on in his classes and it was intriguing to dive into the concepts he was learning in his Leadership class – all very much related to my work life for sure. As he filled me in on things like the VASE theory (Visualize, Assess, Strategize, Execute) and how they were learning strengths based leading through utilization of personality and strength assessments we dove into in depth conversation on actual application and additional resources he may find interesting. We also dove into concepts like making sure the true argument was being understood in order to debate the right way (our conversation on over population AND declining birthrate was a fun one!). All in all it was a very focused and presence driven conversation, totally engaging!
I’m grateful for remembering to give myself grace in my gratitude practice. Tonight I am keeping the writing short as I stayed up later with family. I’m still reflecting on the day and focusing on gratitude, but in a more condensed manner. Purpose over form 👍
Appreciation:
I probably sound like a broken record, but my one on one time with Dominic today was priceless. Having bonus drive time led to so many awesomely nondescript conversations and I enjoyed all of them tremendously!
Presence:
So many laughs with family today for Thanksgiving!!! We played games and shot the bull, so thankful for our time together.
Some of the best and most heartfelt traditions live on for generations and create a ton of joy and smiles year after year after year. Here’s to two of my mentors for creating a Thanksgiving tradition that still continues well over 30 years later. What an awesomely positive impact they’ve had on so many through their generosity, giving, and love!
Appreciation:
Dominic and I had put together the backbone of our trip to Patagonia in March, today we started to flesh out all the details. In many ways the construction of a vacation is so similar to a woodworking project. Start with an idea, get the structure built, and then fill in al the details and character. As with any project – it is guaranteed to not go exactly as planned and that’s all good too. We’ll adapt, adjust, and make the best of any curveballs we get thrown our way. Seeing the details start to take shape has me sooooooo excited!
Presence:
Hanging out with Dominic today was the highlight of my day! We got a bunch of time together from the point I picked him up from the train station until just about supper time. It was just the two of us (& Leia) and we talked about fun stuff, school stuff, and vacation stuff. Having that bonus one on one time was heartwarming and I’m looking forward to more of that over the next couple of days.
Honest and constructive feedback is so awesome and greatly appreciated!!! Huge shout out to my buddy Rick for pointing out a great way to improve the quality of my audiobook recording today! His idea helped a ton and in more ways than I expected! It was a very insightful reminder of how helpful it is to share ideas with someone to help them improve. Thanks for the inspiration dude!!!
Appreciation:
The recording is now done. I’d set a goal of recording the entirety of my book while Gavin and Becky were in France and I’ve now accomplished that goal. The sense of accomplishment is tremendous! There’s still so much work ahead including editing, possibly re-recording sections, and setting up the files to upload, but the heaviest of the lifting is now complete. There are now approximately 7 hours of recordings done. Whew – I am feeling it! Both emotionally and physically I am feeling exhausted, but it is the exhaustion of hard work being completed, and the goal being done!
Bring on the extra work, all the stuff that will take a ton of time, and the next steps – that’s all good. Today I’m grateful for setting a big goal and knocking it out!
Presence:
Wowza, recording my book for audio was rough in the best possible ways. Re-living so many difficult moments brought back so many feels, but largely they were all good – just very intense. Spending the better part of two days reading my book into a microphone re-opened the chest of memories I’d packed away a while ago and hadn’t opened this completely for a long time. That said, what a profound way to remind me of the why behind this project! Getting lost in those memories while recording in a tiny little dark space was wild. Though the work seems like it should have been rather mundane I caught myself being in a flow state almost the entire time.
Today I’ve learned that there is reading and then there is READING. I love reading! Picking up a good book, taking it all in, and enjoying the written word – all so chill and calming. Today I was READING as I’ve started recording the audio version of my book and it was an entirely different experience.
When READING I have to take the time to notice each and every word. I can’t help but be more focused on all the detail as I am not only reading it, but I am preparing to speak it. This also means digesting it on a different level as I need to read it as I would speak it rather than just reading it. These two additional steps really make a giant leap from reading to READING.
What’s really getting me thinking is how differently I am taking in this information this time around. How much different would my comprehension be if I read everything aloud as if I were recording an audiobook? I wouldn’t read nearly as fast, but I’d imagine my understanding of the book would be increased tremendously. Definitely something to consider for the future!
Appreciation:
In order to have quiet to record I brought Leia to doggy daycare for the first time of her life. To say she enjoyed it would be a huge understatement! Here’s what she looked like on the way home and shortly after getting home:
This has been the quietest night I’ve had since Becky and Gavin left, no question! She even put herself to bed a little before 6:30pm. Can’t wait to see how worn out she is after going again tomorrow!
Presence:
This morning I was blessed with an inspiring gift, the opportunity to join friends at the courthouse to see the adoption of their son become legally completed. The details are theirs to share – what I am grateful for is the presence of the moment that it was official. There was so much love and joy in that courtroom from so many, it was a special moment I will cherish forever.
One of the most impactful trainings I’ve ever had was on the standard cycle of learning we all go through when we learn new tasks – Situational Leadership (aka SLII). Typically, when we are first about to start a task we are all types of excited and we’re ready to run through walls to accomplish the new task, we just need to have someone give us a little direction. Once we start down that path we quickly realize that it is not going to be as easy and simple as we initially assumed it would be, we have learned what we didn’t already know. At that moment we feel crushed and now need some positive coaching in addition to the direction.
And that’s where I am today. As excited as I have been to start recording I am frustrated. The volumes and levels aren’t quite where I need them to be and it is painstaking to adjust them. As I read in practice I’m tripping over my written words and it is driving me bonkers. This whole project has gone from a “this will be a blast” to “hmm, how do I dump this without too much shame?” 😉
Of course, I am going to work through it. Can I do this? Yes, I’ve worked through other things before. One step at a time. I’ve got a way to adjust all the levels and will take the time to do that tomorrow morning when I am not watching a puppy (who decided to take advantage of my recording practice by grabbing one of my hand clamps and chewing both of the rubber pads off). Yeah, I am likely going to stumble over my words. No worries – I can edit it! It’s not the end of the world if I have to re-record certain sections. I’ll figure it out, I’ve done more difficult things in the past (like writing the book in the first place).
Yes, I am frustrated now, but I know how to work through it. I’ve got this. Tomorrow will end with much progress made!
Appreciation:
This afternoon I got to catch up with Becky and Gavin and hear about how their trip to France has been going. So glad they decided to go on this adventure together! The memories they are making together and the time they have with just the two of them is awesome and will only continue to grow the bonds they already have. While I would like to be with them I know there’s a magic to having that solo time with one of our sons at a time from past experience. I’m very appreciative that they are getting this time together and are making some lifelong memories!
Presence:
There was a moment this morning as Leia and I walked through the woods this morning that was so perfectly tranquil. There was no sound of traffic. The air was still. The only sound was that of Leia bounding through the leaves like the puppy she is. The smile on her face as she decided to play a little chase with me was priceless. The happiness of a puppy outdoors playing is a joy I need to remember to harvest in my own life more often. Play and have fun, life doesn’t always have to be serious and goal driven.
Today I was working on the last of the testing and set up for recording the audio version of my book (which you can learn more about here). I’ve got the pseudo-studio in Dominic’s bedroom closet ready to go with soundproofing, I’ve got all the equipment set up, I’ve got my recording app (Audacity) all set, and did a couple of test runs to see what I’m getting myself into. At this point I know I will be able to record well and in a format that will get uploaded to ACX (Audible.com) and other websites. All I need to do now is the hard work, recording 😉
What I was reminded of today is how grateful I am for all of the online resources we have available to make projects like this easier. Being able to hop on YouTube to learn about recording, using Google to find how to upload and install a plugin for the application, and then stumbling upon advice to e more successful was a total godsend! Having such a wealth of knowledge and wisdom at our fingertips like this is something I don’t take time to appreciate often enough.
Appreciation:
For the past decade and a half our house has been a largely loud and crazy place. Whether it was chasing the boys, playing with the dogs, or hanging out with friends it seems like our house was always a place of busyness. Today it is only Leia and I. Gavin and Becky are on a trip in France and Dominic is in college. Such a crazy and drastic change!
Within this quiet has been a huge focus on productivity. I put together a fairly large list of what I want to accomplish this weekend and I’ve already made some serious headway on it. Additionally, with the definite lack of conversation there’s been so much time to think and contemplate while I am getting things done. The quiet has been uncanny – almost like when I did my solo writing retreat and solo backpacking trip – but in an even more interesting way as it is in the place which is usually the center of conversation.
I know without question that I prefer the busyness and conversations within our home, but there is a magic to this stillness that I am thankful for in small doses. It reminds me of a book I read not too long ago about someone who has almost completely withdrawn from the rest of society. He pops back in every so often just to stay sane before fading back into the wilderness. In my case it seems like I need to fade into the background of solitude every so often before jumping back into real life in order to hold more tightly to my sanity.
I miss the time with my family, but I am appreciative for the time I have alone. It is certainly a time of healing, rejuvenation, and focus – so long as I choose to utilize it that way. I am reminded of the old quote by Blaise Pascal:
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
Blaise Pascal
Here’s to enjoying that quiet time in a room alone.
Presence:
This morning Leia and I went for a little hike on a beautiful trail just off of Fisherman’s Road and enjoyed some outside time in the sun. She took her time to sniff everything possible as we slowly worked our way along the out and back trail. It was easy to see she was loving the outside time in the woods as much (possibly even a little more than) I was.
This afternoon she was getting a little squirrelly so I thought we’d take on our second hike of the day. After a very short distance she was walking very fast and starting to pull on her leash. Even though I was not prepped for a trail run – I was wearing cargo shorts and no socks – I decided it was time to test her out with some trail running. Seeing as she’s a puppy we’ve been slowly building up her distance, I haven’t taken her for a trail run yet. I hit the gas, she smiled, and then all I saw was her backside… until she would suddenly dart off the trail to stop and smell something!
Other than her smell breaks we ran well over three quarters of the trail together and it was awesome!!! I am not sure which of us was smiling bigger by the time we were done. Definitely a moment I’ll remember forever, kind of like the time I took LuLu running solo with me back in the day. Moments like that are pure gold.
Many years ago I had a conversation with my friend Rick about composing music on his computer. I asked why he didn’t just mix everything perfectly, making each note of each instrument hit at the perfect tone. He shared that there is a perfection in imperfection. If everything was perfect in the song it just wouldn’t sound right. The little imperfections at the right places made a good song a beautiful song.
Earlier this morning as I was thinking through about my blog post and thoughts from yesterday. I started to realize how much that concept applies to life in general. Our lives are so deeply enriched and wonderful BECAUSE of the imperfections and struggles. They allow the moments of joy and happiness to really come to the surface and shine.
So similar to my post from last night. The imperfections are a perfect was for us to grow and remember to appreciate what we have, to enjoy the full melody of life.
Appreciation:
This morning Gavin was up and moving early in preparation for his upcoming trip with Becky. He and Dominic jumped on the phone and provided quite the background soundtrack to the work I was doing from home. There was nonstop laughing, giggling, and joking around between the two of them and it was music for my soul! I am so grateful for the way they continue to spend time connecting with each other and the friendship they have built.
Presence:
This morning I stumbled upon one of my favorite early morning solo run albums, The Rural Alberta Advantage’s Mended with Gold. The music combined with the 20-ish degree crisp air to form the right conditions for an inspiration meditative run to kick off the day. I love the way music can help my mind slip into a flow state so easily.
It seems as if we all go through “funks” in our lives. You know, those times when we aren’t fully happy, we feel a little down, and like there’s almost something missing in our life. Sometimes they feel like I am in a room in which all the light bulbs have either gone out or are fading fast rather than being outside on sunny day. Regardless of how you describe them, they really kind of suck and are not where we want to hang out often.
There have been a handful of “funks” I’ve lived through. Each had its own suffering, but as I look back each was something I grew through. When I was much younger I descended into a deep funk and as I grew through it I learned the importance of inner happiness rather than looking outwards and focusing on the opinions of other people. Another funk in my early thirties helped me see I needed to take better care of myself physically which also led to a huge growth in self discipline. Before I turned thirty nine I was enveloped in a funk that eventually became the creation of this blog and focused my attention to appreciation and changed my life in profound ways.
In between there have been small funks which registered small growth. There’ve also been larger funks that I really don’t want to dive into in this format that led to larger growth in other directions. Throughout life there has always been, and seems that there will always be, ups and downs in my mood. Often there is joy and elation, but there are also funks.
At one point in life I’d argue that we should never be in a funk, that it is as simple as choosing happiness instead. What I’ve been learning more and more is that funks are a counterbalance to joy, but also a creation of joy. Through those difficult times we find our growth, we create future joy. They still hurt when we suffer through them, but if we pause and realize they can be a tool for us to grow closer to who we are called to be.
That’s where my head has gone this evening. I thought about those past funks and saw the growth they resulted in. Their pain is still there, but is has been numbed by the growth that has come since. As I work through what feels like the tail end of a funk my mindset changed drastically after a simple question crossed my mind.
In a moment of emotion, singing out loud to an awesome song with my moonroof open (more on that in the Presence section), the question appeared and brought a moment of absolute stillness and honest contemplation.
“What is the purpose of this funk?”
What is the purpose of this funk? What am I learning through this? How do I need to grow as highlighted by this funk? Something must be off or wrong if I am feeling this way – what is it, what caused it, how do I change it? Why is this specific funk hitting now? When I work through this how will I be closer to closing the gap between who I am and who I am called to be?
“What is the purpose of this funk?”
As I thought through the question I had several rapid fire thoughts which I will share honestly and openly. For clarity, I still have much to consider in this, but these were the starting points:
Learning how much is truly out of my control no matter how much I want to be in control
Choosing a path, being bold, not settling for the path of least resistance, not drifting, acting intentionally
Realizing what is truly important to me, manifesting more of the opportunities which fit my strengths
Making a choice rather than hedging my bets
Learning to let go, that I can only accomplish so much, not trying to do everything
Thinking through this list brought up so many ideas to struggle with and through. What was interesting though was that rather than feeling like I was in a funk it was an acceptance of not being 100% joyful as I would like to be and seeing that working through this would help me get closer to that state.
Another interesting insight – it is not the goal of living a perfectly joyful life, rather it is to enjoy the struggle and the journey towards that goal. Definitely an idea to come back to later.
Tonight I’m really grateful for the question – “What is the purpose of my funk?” It has helped me transform a feeling of almost helplessness into a tool for growth, a source of future joy. If you’re currently in a funk of your own try asking yourself that question, who knows where it may take you!
Appreciation:
I am grateful for the way so many moments worked out today to help create the mindset and the mental and emotional space to work through that thought above. As I type my blog I can’t help but be thankful for this process of daily journaling and blogging to help my mind work through so many of these thoughts. In the past I would have maybe had the moment of insight and then lost it into the recesses of my brain, never to be seen again. By writing this thought process down today I can come back to it in the future, I work through the concept more completely through writing, and – even though it is incredibly humbling to open myself up like this to whomever happens to read this – to live more closely into my personal purpose of brightening lives through shared experiences.
This process, this ritual, this habit… what a gift!!!
The reflection of the mountains and trees resonated with me as I wrote tonight – enjoy!
Presence:
My drive home from Menomonie was rather epic this evening! I opted for some music rather than audiobook or podcast, opened up the moonroof, and sang my butt off. It started as an opportunity to let loose some energy, to relax. What’s wild is that is was exactly at this time with my guard completely down and I was unencumbered by any intentional thought that the concept in the Growth section broke loose and became reality.
That moment of letting go to emotion completely led to some of the best thought processes I’ve had in quite some time. Force it and it doesn’t work, forget it and it comes alive. Such an eye opening reminder to let my brain relax and work its own way to where it needs to go.
Thankful for Forty 