Day 3,396

Growth:

So easy to get lost in planning and dreaming and preparing, to drift away from the present moment. Today I read an insightful reminder from Anthony de Mello that has had my brain focusing more and more on the present…

Life is something that happens to us while we’re busy making other plans.

Anthony de Mello, Awareness

Appreciation:

Slowly taking my own advice, control what I can control, I am only human, there’s only so much I can do… I’m learning slowly but surely, remembering to rest, to prioritize and focus on the most important only. Last night I slept hard and slept well. This evening I’ll get another great night of sleep and will take on a substantial number of challenges tomorrow, but the ones which are most important and the ones I know I need to get done. Tonight I’m grateful for remembering to not take on too much, for getting the rest I need to be at my best, and for remembering to control what I can control.

Presence:

On my ride home a sight caught my attention and drew me right in. The sky was a beautiful pink due to the slow sunset and its reflection on the glare ice of the Mississippi River caused the entire river to glow pink! It was awesome!!! Such an epic phenomena to witness!

Thanks!!!

Day 3,395

Growth:

As a wise flight attendant once said, “put on your face mask first before helping others.” Okay, maybe that was every single flight attendant ever 😉

Regardless, the logic holds. We are no good for others if we don’t take care of ourselves first. Rest, energize, be in best shape (mental and physical), before helping others.

Appreciation:

So much work goes into starting, and it is so easy to get distracted. I’m very grateful for taking the time to map out a plan, share the plan, communicate the plan, question the plan, adjust the plan, and follow the plan. When things are clearly laid out with room for flexibility it is so much easier to follow through.

Presence:

Always fun sharing a favorite book with friends and family. Much of my drive this morning was spent listening to Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. Gavin just picked up my paper copy a few days ago and I realized it has been a little bit since I last read this gem. Outstanding work, always worth a re-read.

Thanks!!!

Day 3,395

Growth:

There are sooo many nuggets of wisdom packed into the book Awareness by Anthony de Mello that I still continue to find new insights even after a dozen or so times of reading. In many ways it feels like the stone cutter hammering away on a boulder, the repetition slowly leads to growth and progress even though it doesn’t feel like it, but after a while I am realizing that I’ve made more progress than I thought I had over the year. Slow but steady progress, intentional growth for the sake of being a better person.

Appreciation:

It is so easy for me to make poor eating choices when I don’t prep in advance. If I take the time to make my meals for the week in advance I end eating way more healthy and with much more intentionality. This morning I ended up spending a good couple of hours making my lunches and breakfasts, but they are so much more healthy AND are more along the lines of what I should be eating (complete with portion control, my achilles heel). Thanks again to James Clear and Atomic Habits for helping me find ways to create the small habits I need to hit my goals!

Presence:

Dominic has left to head back up to the Cities for school and work. For a few weeks all four of us were largely here, I am so grateful for all of the time we were able to spend together in all configurations of our family. While I would always like more time with all my family I am finding myself more and more grateful for each of the moments we have. This weekend was loaded with time together, my heart is full.

Thanks!!!

Day 3,394

Growth:

Time to re-charge doesn’t only mean being idle, it is in doing what refills and refreshes. Today it was found in completing steps towards larger goals, action, but action intentionally and towards a purpose.

Appreciation:

Such a full day today! Having time to work proactively rather than reactively felt amazing. Throw in time in the woods with Dominic, games with the boys, and even the time in which we all were taking on different household chores and it was s day of joy and productivity. A fulfilling day in so many ways!

Presence:

So many laughs with my boys tonight, always a highlight! Even laying in bed hearing them laughing together brings a smile.

Thanks!!!

Day 3,393

Growth:

The only way to become excellent is to be endlessly fascinated by doing the same thing over and over.

James Clear, Atomic Habits

Appreciation:

As Chuck Palahniuk put it in his book Fight Club: It’s only after we lose everything that we are free to do anything.

A fresh start, a clean slate, the perfect opportunity to unleash the true self.

Several times today there was pure openness and sharing even though it could have been uncomfortable. Rather than share things as if like them to be I shared them as they are AND was candid of where I see them going.

Unguarded. Freedom.

Presence:

The moment of quiet, when all the dust from thought settles, and everything shifts sharply into focus. Seeing the path with clarity. The rush of confidence, the optimism of a bright future, the understanding of a strong foundation built.

The moment the eyes see with clarity.

Thanks!!!

Day 3,392

Growth:

Which attitude do I choose?

Attitude is a choice, a choice to be made each moment of each day.

Today I chose often, occasionally my emotion chose. Tomorrow I will grow as a result of both.

I’m reminded of a quote from Ender’s Game:

He could see Bonzo’s anger growing hot.  Hot anger was bad.  Ender’s anger was cold, and he could use it.  Bonzo’s anger was hot, and so it used him.

Orson Scott Card, Ender’s Game

Appreciation

I’m amazed at how easily one can flow between emotion and calm logic. So much of my life has been ruled by my emotional self, as I grow older it becomes easier and easier to cede control to logical awareness. As my emotions boil up my awareness of that heat almost automatically signals for the cooling waters of calm to be released.

All is temporary, why burn emotional energy when one could less stressfully and more productively channel logic?

Presence:

My ride to work really helped me shift into the correct mindset even before stress arose. Working through Atomic Habits, reviewing Awareness, and quiet times between both as I paused to think and reflect filled my reservoirs before I knew I would need them.

Thanks!!!

Day 3,390

Growth:

There’s a time to relax and a time to run. You can’t only do one all the time, there is a balance to be struck. Wisdom is knowing which is right for each moment, and being okay with the balance changing every other second!

Appreciation:

I’ve got a tendency to read, re-read, re-re-read, and re-re-re-read books that get me thinking. The most recent iteration has me reading Atomic Habits for at least the fifth time and I’m enjoying it just as much as the first time! So many nuggets of wisdom within, it always inspires me to pause and be aware of my actions, to think about exactly what I am doing and why, and if I were the person I truly want to be what should I be doing instead. Just as always I catch myself pausing in between chapters to let it all soak in and to take action the right way.

Presence:

While there were a handful of very present moments with individuals today there was an overall shift in my presence today. Thanks to the chapter of Atomic Habits I read this morning I was examining so many of my little reactions to different stimuli from an almost third party perspective. In a mash up of Atomic Habits and Awareness by Anthony de Mello I was careful to observe from afar as if I were watching a play, completely without judgement, and without attempting to fix anything. It was pure observation for the sake of learning and understanding. In that search for meaning I found myself more engaged in each moment than usual!

Thanks!!!

Day 3,389

Growth:

One doesn’t need to set high standards and goals for the RIGHT people, rather, one merely needs to show the path and allow room for their growth. How time has been wasted throughout history by attempting to push others ahead rather than showing a path and allowing them to pull us along with.

Appreciation:

Last night I had an awesome moment of parenting wisdom with Gavin. From the kitchen I heard a sound of deep frustration, a big sigh, and then the sounds of the laptop and computer parts being put away. When he sat in the living room with me I asked what was up.

The project he’d put quite a few hours into hit a snag and was irreparably destroyed. I asked a bunch of questions to figure out a way to fix it for him. When he quickly realized what I was doing he paused me with a, “Dad, it’s not a big deal, I learned from it.” And that was that. He moved on.

How many times as a parent have I wanted to fix something for the boys, whether important or insignificant, in order to help them find joy? How much better is it for them to have had experiences of things not working out so they can build resilience and learn from mistakes? I’m sure there’s a balance and there’s a certain amount of support needed, but I’m afraid I too often lean towards fixing rather than allowing.

Thanks for the reminder to let you grow on your own Gavin!

Presence:

Very interesting day from the standpoint of presence. As I reflect on the day I realize I was 100% present in significantly more moments of the day than usual. Part of it due to the crazy pace of the day, part of it due to the conversations, and some due to random-ish circumstances. Regardless of the reason I can see why it was a +2 kind of day!

Thanks!!

Day 3,388

Growth:

Working off a list really helps me stay on track. By following right through it o was able to get almost everything done this weekend – and get some bonus steps in as I kept focused on my goals.

Appreciation:

This morning Mom and I had an excellent and engaging conversation about many things ranging from family history to work to life as parents. Always grateful for the conversations like these that just happen and lead to a better understanding of family and some insights into family history!

Presence:

My brother and I had a wonderful time talking about vacations this evening. Nothing like sharing one of my passions with one of my favorite people. So excited to see which of the seeds planted during that conversation take hold.

Thanks!!!