Month: May 2024

Thankful for Intentionally Chosen Trade Offs, Quiet, & Track Regionals

Day 3,151

Growth:

Very interesting idea during a “spontaneous group therapy” from a business call this morning. While the conversation went in a few different random directions there was a central thought I kept coming back to. I wrote it up on my whiteboard to help it sink a bit more deeply.

What are the trade offs I am willing to accept? Am I intentionally choosing them or am I just allowing them to happen? What are the trade offs I have unintentionally accepted?

Me

Rather than allowing something to happen through “gravity” or “drifting” I should only intentionally make trade offs. Intentionality helps me choose the right obstacles to face and which to avoid in order to live into my purpose and dreams. By not choosing I am allowing pull of gravity or the drifting of life to dictate where I go – which may or may not lead towards where I want to end up.

Zoom out, choose the right trade offs, be okay with them, and keep the focus on what is most important.

Appreciation:

This morning on my drive to work I did something I don’t usually do and it made all the difference in the productivity of my day. I started the drive with my audiobook but then quickly turned it off and enjoyed the ride in silence. My brain needed space to think. It was almost as if the sound bath from last night broke some ideas loose and they needed to full flush themselves out of my brain before I could fully focus. While it set me backwards in my book it really moved my day forward in all the right ways. I had a much more concise plan of attack for the day. I had more time to put together right solutions. Most importantly, I gave my brain time to breathe and relax. It was exactly what I needed to get mentally prepped for the day.

Presence:

What a difference a year makes in the level of stress in watching the boy’s sporting events!

Last year for Regionals (and Sectionals and State) I was so amped up, worked up, and all nervous I could hardly sit still. Knowing that each race was potentially Dominic’s last high school sporting event ever had me all twisted and torqued up! In the previous years there was always a little nervousness, but it wasn’t anything like Dominic’s senior season last year.

Fast forward to this year’s Regionals and watching Gavin compete in pole vaulting and the 4×800 while also being an alternate on the 4×400. I was relaxed and laid back, I thoroughly enjoyed each second of each event and all without the feeling like I could throw up at any minute. Of course I want him and his teammates to compete well and give their all, but there’s not the same sense of finality as there was last year. It was extra peaceful for sure!

Here’s to remembering that it is all a game, all for fun, and all a way to measure the hard work put in throughout preseason and season. Watching with less stress was so much more chill!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Another Gaiman Quote, Being Unsure of What to Write About, & a Sound Bath

Day 3,150

Growth:

This specific quote from Neil Gaiman really summed up one of the reasons I enjoy blogging.

All too often I write to find out what I think about a topic, not because I already know. – Neil Gaiman

Quite often I start with a spark of an idea and it fleshes itself out as I type. Sometimes the entire destination changes as well! Taking the time to write out my blog provides the opportunity to focus on the topic, to breathe life into it, to set it free, and see where it grows to.

Quick aside, tonight’s Presence section is such an example of. Never would I have dreamt of sharing the detail, but it just seems so right, it is the magic which created the moments of presence. The idea was scratching to get out and I’ve now loosed it on the world, my apologies 😉

Appreciation:

Hmm….

Do I write about the wonderful walk in the woods this morning with Becky and Leia as we listened to the birds?

Do I write about the reminder of how much more full life is when I am outdoors and have a focus on appreciation?

Do I write about sharing a life learning experience with Dominic as we went grocery shopping?

Do I write about remembering the story of the monk carrying the woman over the stream to help me stay focused on letting go rather than carrying something?

Do I write about putting in a new exterior door, getting frustrated, having the boys help me out, remembering that I am setting an example for them, and the calming myself down – which leads to a near perfect installation after much frustration earlier?

Do I write about the time chilling with Gavin playing a couple of epic games as we talk about nothing in particular?

Do I write about going to bed early to start the week right?

Hmm…

I guess I just blogged about it all.

Presence:

This evening I went to a very different yoga session than usual, this one was a sound bath. We stretched out and moved a little before settling in on our mats to breathe and focus as the teacher created a very enlightening soundscape.

Prior to starting she advised us to not look up to see how the sounds were made, rather to stay focused on only the sound with our eyes closed. I’m so had I heeded her advice as it added a special twist to the meditation, adding the theme from many myths of a loved one leaving the underworld with you, but if you look back before you’re all the way out you’ll see them for only a second before they dissipate back into the underworld. I was so close to looking up a few times but knew the sensation of peace and chill would vanish if I looked.

It also felt as if I’d somehow cheated Sleep as the group around me all slumbered (the person next to me was snoring in a very pleasant way). The King of Dreams crept around scattering seeds of dreams amongst the sleepers and I had to stay extra calm while pretending to sleep elsewhere he’d jettison me from waking to sleeping and the experience would shift from a memory to a loosely braided dream meant to come undone. If I remained hidden from his sight I could enjoy soaking in the secrets of the world between sleep and waking. Such wild thoughts running through my brain!

The entire experience was at a very different level from that which I am used to. Aside from the engaging imaginations and complete sensation of calm there was another bonus. All of reality seemed more real and tangible afterwards. My sense of presence was heightened and I savored the feel of walking on sidewalks with bare feet, the subtle scent of rain, the sounds of the birds. All around me life was very much the same, yet do much more vibrant as I was more alive in it. What a gift!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for an Awesomely Full Day

Day 3,149

This is definitely going to be a short one, I’m exhausted!!!

The day started with a 5:45 wake up, an almost 3 mile run to yoga with Becky, an hour of vigorous hot yoga, and then a run back home.

It continued with a ride to Milwaukee with Dominic to spend time with my brother, my mom, and their families at the zoo and included Dominic and I walking around the river walk in downtown Milwaukee. Throw in a couple of big meals too!

Then it was a long ride home with great conversation and music, and now bed.

A crazy busy day, a very full day, and one filled with joy.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Neil Gaiman Quote, Those Who Help Me See Others More Clearly and with More Love, & Ordinary Time with Becky

Day 3,148

Growth:

What a beautiful quote by Neil Gaiman which takes just a moment to sink in.

If you, as a parent, raise your children well, they won’t need you anymore. If you did it properly, they go away.

Neil Gaiman

Appreciation:

I’m not quite sure how to put this one so I’m going to just type it and see how it comes out. Fingers crossed that it portrays the sense of profound appreciation I have for so many today.

For a variety of reasons I am deeply grateful for all of the people who have helped me step outside of myself and my very limited vision to see the larger scope of how we all fit together as people. I’ve been a slow learner and I haven’t always seen things as quickly or clearly as I would have hope. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time, shown the patience, and provided me the grace to slowly become aware of the different challenges all types of people face. Your patience, love, and faith in my heart have helped to grant me one of the most priceless gifts in the world, the seeds of awareness. Thank you for helping me step outside of myself, to see the world from different perspectives, and to slowly work towards closing the gap between who I am and who I am meant to be.

I have such a large distance to go to keep growing past my own filters of the world, please continue to help guide me, inform me, question me, support me, and love me throughout the successes and stumbles I have along the way. You have had a significant impact on my life, please know I am doing my best to pass it on others – especially my sons. Thank you for your patience and faith in my ability to become more aware!

Presence:

Making dinner with Becky, both joking around in the kitchen, enjoying each other’s company, now relaxing on the couch reading/writing. What beautifully ordinary ways to spend part of our evening together! We’re in the midst of a three plus week stretch in which we’re each rarely in the same state, this dose of normalcy is incredible!

Not from today, but a fun one regardless 😉

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Quick Reviews, Future Focused Wotk, & Bow and Arrow by Reuben and The Dark

Day 3,147

Growth:

Review while it is still fresh in my head, full post mortem within 48 hours. Amazing how much detail I can pull from if I act quickly yo save myself hours of work later.

Appreciation:

Much of my work today was focused on helping me fine the road. Future based days never quite seem urgent, but they are so important and really help create more success than the normal “busyness.”

Presence:

Taking four minutes to completely savor this gem this morning:

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Heeding Nudges, a Beautiful Quote, & Connection

Day 3,146

Growth:

Sometimes opportunities present themselves at seemingly inopportune times, but we feel compelled to take them regardless of logic. those “nudges” seem to never fail to produce amazing results when heeded.

By taking on an opportunity to do some training I stumbled upon a powerful. well timed, and much needed focus on self reflection. To built this I needed to pause and look back over the past 20ish years to observe the results of actions and inactions without emotion, rather with the scalpels of logic and reason. Through that process was discomfort for sure, but also smiles of past successes and so many opportunities for growth and improvement. There are so many ways in which this has helped me more clearly see the gap between who I am and who I am called to be.

Had I passed on this opportunity I would have had more time to focus on other things – busyness which will still need to be attended – but I would not have had this opportunity to learn and grow. What a gift it has been!

Appreciation:

This might sound cheesy, but there’s a quote which has been bouncing through my soul thru the past few days. In many ways it sums up so much of what I am most grateful for this evening.

“Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is.

We are what they grow beyond. That is the true burden of all masters.”

Master Yoda 😉

While the source may be a bit too much for some, the sentiment and truth of the quote cannot be overstated.

How much brighter is the world if we all choose to help each other be better than ourselves? By helping to raise others up we create joy for all.

Presence:

That moment went you know that you are exactly where you are meant to be and doing exactly what you are meant to be doing, and a part of something much bigger than yourself. It opens the mind to ideas of how much we could all accomplish working together, sharing openly, and living into who we were meant to be. Today’s Express Leadership Academy training was a moment which will continue to inspire me to remember the beauty of “we” over “me.”

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Antifragility, Sitting Quietly in My Room, & Hanging with ELA Family

Day 3,145

Growth:

The concept of Antifragility has really been hitting home for me. Funny how the combination of examples from the actual book didn’t quite sink in fully, but these ongoing nudges have kept coming from so many other sources. I’m pretty sure Taleb’s book , Antifragile, has been referenced in no fewer than four books I’ve read in the past six months!

Here’s the concept in a nutshell. Many things are fragile. If I drop a coffee mug onto stone it breaks. It is fragile.

A stainless steel Yeti might survive the fall as it is durable. That said, it doesn’t get hurt, but it also does not get better due to the fall.

Something which is antifragile gets better specifically because it was hurt or broken. In so many ways humans are antifragile – it is in discomfort and frustration and challenge in which we grow stronger. Consider weightlifting, the lifting of heavy weight cause micro tears in the muscle which then heal stronger than before, thus they get better due to the break.

In so much of our lives we avoid discomfort, but quite often that avoidance stunts our growth. We also actively work to prevent those we love from experiencing discomfort, which often hurts them more in the long run.

A note to Future Mike – lean into the discomfort! Help push others towards discomfort! Remember though that discomfort is good, but don’t let them or yourself complete break being repair

Appreciation:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Blaise Pascal

Many years ago I was introduced to this quote and it has rocked my brain ever since. It is so easy to stay “busy” and not take the quiet time needed to think.

Honestly, I think that is one of the reasons I’ve been blogging like this for the past 3,000+ days… it is a self enforced daily ritual of sitting alone with my thoughts to pause and process the day and all of its experiences.

In preparation for tomorrow’s presentation I’ve had to spend time alone with my thoughts and my old journals as I sift through past experiences which have led you to today. All of that time focused on reflection and introspection are so different from the usual chaos filled days of hard work. I’m taking this time to reflect I’m also seeing so many opportunities to grow into a better version of myself. Had I not put this training together so many of these insights may have been lost to the future.

Here’s to taking the time to pause, reflect, and sit quietly in my room (which I’m literally doing right now).

Presence:

This evening I was blessed to have dinner with some of my favorite people, some of our Express Leadership Academy (ELA) family. So many insightful conversations, sharing of stories, and so many laughs! While I don’t have many opportunities to hang out with them IRL like this I’m amazed at how quickly it feels like I’m hanging out with old friends who get me and accept me as I am. For reals, it feels like I’ve known them all for many years. What an awesome start to my quick trip to OKC!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for the GAP, Growth Through Adversity, & a Bead of Sweat and a Breath

Day 3,144

Growth:

How much more joy would there be in the world if we all felt we were enough, if we did not have absurdly high expectations of ourselves, and were grateful for all we have been blessed with? The mindsets of growth, appreciation, and presence can power us all to joy in our lives, yet so often we allow ourselves to be distracted by lack and fear. The keys to joy are all around us, we need only choose them.

Appreciation:

Sometimes the best learning comes as a result of living through difficult situations. In the midst of the frustration it can be difficult to focus on what we’re learning, but if we choose a growth mindset we can often learn more than we’d thought possible through the adversity. This is especially true of times when we have the benefit of hindsight to connect the dots after the fact.

Presence:

Nothing quite like the presence found in yoga! This evening my brain was focused 100% on a combination of my breathing and the bead of sweat slowly rolling down my face. There’s was nothing else in the world except those two sensations for a fleeting moment of extreme stillness and presence.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for an Epic Sir Edmund Hillary Quote, Moms, & Being Outside

Day 3,143

Growth:

When the going gets tough and things go wrong the same qualities are needed to win through as they were in the past — qualities of courage, resourcefulness, the ability to put up with discomfort and hardship, and the enthusiasm to hold tight to an ideal and to see it through with doggedness and determination.

Sir Edmund Hillary

Appreciation:

So much appreciation for all moms today – mine definitely included!

Today I’m also incredibly grateful for my sons having such an awesome mom as a role model, inspiration, friend, coach, teacher, and mentor. Their lives are so enriched by the countless number of ways Becky has impacted their lives.

Presence:

Nothing like the joy of being outdoors and moving on a sunny day in May (& likely any month 😉)! Today Becky and I got a nice walk in the woods early to give Leia some exercise and identified sixteen different types of birds (thank you Merlin app!). We got a wonderful family hike in during the afternoon. The evening was wrapped up on our deck as we read. So many awesome moments outside today!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for YouTube FTW, a Family Dinner with Six of Us, & Still Glowing from the Northern Lights

Day 3,142

Growth:

Thank you YouTube for helping me with another lawnmower repair today! Nothing like the confidence of knowing I have all the answers I will likely need in a device in my pocket to help me take a deep breath and calmly start solving the problem.

Appreciation:

This evening was a first for us – dinner as a family with a couple of significant others along with. The boys each brought someone along and we had so much fun interacting with everyone. It was a little awkward at first but we all seemed to get over it quickly. So surreal to experience a family dinner like this, but also so much fun. So glad we were all able to get together like that and I’m looking forward to doing it again soon.

Presence:

I’m still glowing over the moments and memories shared last night as we watched the northern lights! Seeing them as a family. Driving to the park on the end of the island to see the spectacular purples and pinks and greens. Walking for hours with Dominic while looking up. The random conversations with strangers who were also taking them in. The incredible sense of shared awe. Awesome!

Thanks!!!