Yesterday morning I was on an enlightening webinar featuring Dr. Cindra Kamphoff. While there were many notes taken there was one line which stuck in my brain. “Things don’t happen TO you, they happen FOR you.” Let that one sink in for a moment… “Things don’t happen TO you, they happen FOR you.”
With one little phrase the key to reframing our mindset can be changed. The key is to consider how whatever is happening can be used as an opportunity to learn. In many ways it’s a twist on one of my favorite questions, “What can I learn from this?”
Today I had more than a couple of opportunities to practice this. They presented themselves as mild annoyances. Someone driving 20 mph below the speed limit on the interstate a couple of miles from my exit with a line of over a dozen cars behind it. Someone parking in the second to last spot in the lot and parking about six inches over the line and into the last remaining spot. As I type this I know how lame both of those sound and it’s pretty disappointing to admit I was frustrated by both of those moments. I was stuck in the mindset of thinking about how each of those things had happened TO me.
As I was slowly calming my brain down and working back into a good headspace in yoga I could feel the stress fade away. I focused on my breathing and the stretching and all was good in the world. At the end of our practice we moved into final rest, a few moments of complete quiet and stillness, one of my favorite parts of the practice. Complete stillness…
…until someone coughed. Then a sneeze. Then some heavy breathing. The sound of a water bottle being moved. Someone nearby moving a little to adjust themselves. Distracting sound followed by distracting sound, one after another, after another.
As I lay on my back with my eyes closed and a towel over them I almost started to laugh. I could hear Dad’s voice in my head, “how’s the stillness now Mikey?” as he laughed along with me. Each time there was another noise I could feel my body starting to convulse as I fought back deep belly laughter.
While I was not in a deep state of calm and there was noise all around me I chose the right mindset. This was all happening FOR me. What an opportunity to remember how important it is to choose the right mindset, to choose growth over frustration.
One of my favorite quotes from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations was going through my head as I started to laugh quietly during yoga.
“Choose not to be harmed – and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed – and you haven’t been.”
Today I am grateful for the opportunity to practice swapping two words to swap an attitude and opportunities to choose stillness.