OMG!!! For reals? Did I really hear that correctly? Did I see what I thought I saw? Are they serious??? What about the time when…
Too often the voice in my head fires off these thoughts (& many more, and many worse) before I can pause and take a deep breath. It is so easy for me to lash out in those moments. I’ve made the mistake too many times of getting caught up in that emotion and unleashing a torrent of hellfire that can thoroughly thrash someone. It’s a horrible feeling that kicks in as I see the last sound waves leave my mouth. I often want to take back what I said and wish I could have a do over, but I can’t. Once that genie has been uncorked it’s out for the world to see.
I’m continuing to focus on setting the emotion aside first, think logically, and then respond appropriately. There is still a huge gap for me to overcome on this. This is particularly true when someone says something about my family, friends, and team. It still seems like hard work to take a deep breath and let logic win instead of ripping into someone or showing them and others just how wrong they are. The more and more I’ve thought on it the more I realize that this doesn’t help my case at all. Regardless of the point I’m trying to prove it loses it’s meaning when I go off half cocked. Proving to the world that someone else is wrong is also a horrible thing. It doesn’t prove anything other than that I am not doing a good job of loving everyone and treating everyone with respect as we all deserve as humans. When I unleash the beast it hurts the person, others involved, my friends, my family, my team, and me. In those moments I am a part of the problem and not a part of the solution. This is a gap I continue to work to close.
Today I made progress. There was a moment in which I remembered the great line from the movie Bambi. It’s a priceless piece of advice that I will keep close to my brain in those moments when I want to voice my frustration the wrong way. To quote the advice Thumper received from his mom, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
The interesting thing that strikes me as I type this is maybe that advice is close but off just a tad. Maybe it should be something like “If you can’t say something nice, find a reason to love them, and give them the love they deserve as a fellow human.” I don’t know. There are a handful of people I’d struggle to do that with, but I wonder just how much of a better place our world would be if that was the case. Regardless, I’ll focus on the advice from Thumper’s mom first and then stretch into the second part once I’ve got it down a little better.