Create space for stillness, room for your mind and soul to open and relax, to not have something which must be done, but rather, to just exist, to be. Sit still, let your mind go, and allow yourself to just be present in the moment. In that quiet, in that stillness – past the initial discomfort of the silence – is joy, your soul, being.
Appreciation:
Being at home today was so rejuvenating! Doing our normal Sunday activities, spending time at home, eating at our table, doing odds and ends around home. Exactly what was needed to get back up to speed after the past week of seemingly nonstop travel.
As I wrap up the night and prepare for bed I am pausing to enjoy some quiet in the living room all alone. It is quiet, I’ve got some excellent music playing (M83 – Outro: https://youtu.be/C0d_74wweFg?si=8ulVjkneFfpHdMB3 ) and I’ve been taking time to allow my mind to be still. Time alone with my thoughts, time with no expectation of progress or result, time existing. So much of what I needed!
Presence:
Those little moments of sharing bits of knowledge learned from others being passed on to others. A nexus of past experiences lived in the present moment with the hope of living again in the future. As simple and mundane as those moments may seem at times they are the points of wonderful memory. today it was in helping to show Gavin how to change windshield wipers and replace the broken glass of a side mirror. In the past it was working with Dad on how to change the air filter. Nothing special in of the moment itself, but beautiful as I step back and savor the memories of the past, enjoy the moment as it happens, and hope that the memory will repeat itself in the future.
Father Dodge had a wonderful sermon that I really didn’t want to hear today, usually the sign of one which I really needed to hear. Where there is discomfort there is usually room for growth.
In his sermon he reminded us that we are to love everyone, to want everyone to enter into heaven, for everyone to feel love. This is currently very difficult for me as I strongly disagree with several issues we are having as a society at large. It would (and has been) so much easier to be angry, to return hate with hate, and to be about as far from love as we should be.
As he spoke I couldn’t help but realize that this pushing back with anger and frustration is what is fueling the downward spiral we seem to be in. We should be remembering to love each other throughout, to pray for others, to help them understand that even if we disagree they are still humans, we should treat them all as we would be treated.
For sure – I am nowhere near ready to for this complete shift, I know what I should do and will work towards closing the gap between who I am and who I am called to be. As I reflect on the day I will be remembering to give a little extra prayer for those who need it, those who are acting from a place of hate, greed, ego, for them to find their way back to love for all humans and all life. I will say an extra prayer for all those who are directly impacted by the hateful and bitter action for them to have the courage to continue, the strength to keep fighting, and the ability to find a way to return love for hate. I will say a prayer for myself, to help me stay level minded, to help me know when and how it is appropriate to fight back, but in a way from the heart, with love. All in all, I’m praying for us to all remember to love each other and to treat each other well – especially when we don’t agree.
This evening I acted out in peaceful ways, a donation to an organization that could really use the extra help right now, sending messages to our congress on my thoughts on specific actions. Please consider doing the same. An organization which we’ve supported in the past that could use your help is the National Parks Conservation Association.
Appreciation:
I’ve been known to have some crazy idea, some might even say bad ideas form time to time. Nothing crazy or nefarious, rather ideas which many normal people would likely think a little out there. Case in point hiking a 50k last summer in the middle of a heat wave. Some have been so crazy they never happened, others I’ve seen through and maybe even questioned after the fact.
After Gavin finished reading The Long Walk by Stephen King this week he had an incredible idea – possibly a crazy one. We are going to do a 24 hour nonstop hike this summer just because we can. We’re going to start approximately 65-70 miles from home and follow the trail all the way back. Nothing short of ridiculous, no question, but it should be an incredible adventure, one we’ll remember for the long haul for sure!
Here’s to the crazy ideas, may they continue to invade our brain and lead us to many incredible shared moments together!
Presence:
Appreciate each moment, we don’t know how many more we have. In church today we received some deeply sad news of a parishioner who passed away from a very fast acting cancer. While we did’t know her well, we knew she and her husband well enough to enjoy a smile and a joke from time to time. Her death was a shock and that moment really hit hard. Her husband is the one I blogged about years ago as “the guy at church who reminds me of Dad.” My heart goes out to him and their family. Enjoy the moments we have, we are not promised tomorrow.
Interesting how sometimes stepping back can provide so much clarity. Our mental lint filters get a little clogged up and we need to step back, clean them out, and then start fresh. Often the insights of others can help us get there. Pause, reflect, ask advice, seek input, and then take action.
Appreciation:
This evening I’ve sat in front of my computer and stared at this blank section. I’ve typed the Growth and Presence portions already, this one has been empty with nothing but a flashing line waiting to release letters. I’m incredibly frustrated today, no need to dive into it any further than than, not with anything related to work or Becky and boys, with other aspects of life. My soul hurts, I’m angry, and I’m so frustrated that I know any response right now – save writing this blog – would not likely be the right one.
I need to reflect further, dive into the why behind the emotion, and remember that above all else we were created to love. That can be be wildly difficult for me to remember and I’m starting to see that it is likely at the core of my hurt – the dissonance of the emotions and the necessary response. Maybe it is because I don’t know how to allow myself to love those I despise, or maybe because I am so unwilling to do so because of my anger. When is the right time to stand up and take action? When is the right time to put my head down and be invisible? When should I calm my emotions and let logic rule? When should I free my emotions in a righteous rage? Are there even right answers to be found?
As I type this I want to circle back to what I am grateful for. I’m grateful for having found a journaling practice like this to help me work through the hurt. I’m grateful for this exercise which helps me remember to stay focused on the positive. I’m appreciative for the wisdom to know it is okay to not be okay all the time. I’m glad I’ve learned to not act out in emotion unless it is logically prudent to do so.
So long as I am alive I have the opportunity to learn and grow. Through the darkest times we learn and grow most. This really sucks right now, but I know I must be growing and learning – though I’d kind of like to have a pause soon. 😉
Presence:
Sometimes there are moments in which when I have learned to pause the audiobook and switch to music. Something within my soul needs to be soothed in those moments, and music or silence is typically the key. Today I listened to one of my favorite songs on repeat for part of the way to work and the entirety of the way home and it was exactly what I needed.
Very interesting idea during a “spontaneous group therapy” from a business call this morning. While the conversation went in a few different random directions there was a central thought I kept coming back to. I wrote it up on my whiteboard to help it sink a bit more deeply.
What are the trade offs I am willing to accept? Am I intentionally choosing them or am I just allowing them to happen? What are the trade offs I have unintentionally accepted?
Me
Rather than allowing something to happen through “gravity” or “drifting” I should only intentionally make trade offs. Intentionality helps me choose the right obstacles to face and which to avoid in order to live into my purpose and dreams. By not choosing I am allowing pull of gravity or the drifting of life to dictate where I go – which may or may not lead towards where I want to end up.
Zoom out, choose the right trade offs, be okay with them, and keep the focus on what is most important.
Appreciation:
This morning on my drive to work I did something I don’t usually do and it made all the difference in the productivity of my day. I started the drive with my audiobook but then quickly turned it off and enjoyed the ride in silence. My brain needed space to think. It was almost as if the sound bath from last night broke some ideas loose and they needed to full flush themselves out of my brain before I could fully focus. While it set me backwards in my book it really moved my day forward in all the right ways. I had a much more concise plan of attack for the day. I had more time to put together right solutions. Most importantly, I gave my brain time to breathe and relax. It was exactly what I needed to get mentally prepped for the day.
Presence:
What a difference a year makes in the level of stress in watching the boy’s sporting events!
Last year for Regionals (and Sectionals and State) I was so amped up, worked up, and all nervous I could hardly sit still. Knowing that each race was potentially Dominic’s last high school sporting event ever had me all twisted and torqued up! In the previous years there was always a little nervousness, but it wasn’t anything like Dominic’s senior season last year.
Fast forward to this year’s Regionals and watching Gavin compete in pole vaulting and the 4×800 while also being an alternate on the 4×400. I was relaxed and laid back, I thoroughly enjoyed each second of each event and all without the feeling like I could throw up at any minute. Of course I want him and his teammates to compete well and give their all, but there’s not the same sense of finality as there was last year. It was extra peaceful for sure!
Here’s to remembering that it is all a game, all for fun, and all a way to measure the hard work put in throughout preseason and season. Watching with less stress was so much more chill!
What is the one thing that would make the biggest impact? If there was only one thing to focus on in a given situation what would give us the greatest traction? How could we leverage that one piece the most while ignoring or minimizing the trivial which may be disguised as important?
Over the past week my thoughts keep coming back to this. I usually try to enact several solutions and add new things in an effort to improve a challenging situation. I’ve been reminded of a story working with Dad when we were remodeling our kitchen and he taught me the power of thinking about the one most important point to focus all the energy – when he easily moved something I’d been sweating and busting my butt on for well over fifteen minutes.
With that mindset the world has looked very different today. I’ve paused, considered, and thought through some challenges to find the most impactful piece of the equation. Once I found it I’ve started working on it to move the dial in a positive direction and I’m seeing fairly quick and significant progress.
What a wonderful reminder for Future Mike – pause to make sure you are focusing on the one most impactful thing. You can’t do it all, not all action will have a return, put all the energy in one unified direction rather than spreading it out.
Appreciation:
Tonight I’m grateful for two similar but different things – journaling and stories. I’ve been reminded several times of how important they both are to my life recently.
Journaling is such a simple yet powerful way to organize thoughts and experiences. The memory of a journal is flawless so long as we populate it immediately. Having the ability to “time travel” back to a specific day and re-live something important and relevant to our lives is priceless. Taking the time to unpack an experience and apply thought to it also helps us process the world around us and our experiences in it so much more deeply.
Stories have the power to ell us exactly what we need to hear from the safety of being 10,000 feet away while being packaged in an easy to open box we can carry with us for years to open and re-experience when we need it. A simple parable will stick with us in ways that bare wisdom will not. 
Both of these tools have been of huge benefit to me recently and I’m grateful for them.
Presence:
Throughout the day my awareness has been at a higher than normal level – and I haven’t done anything to force it. I’m not sure if it has to do with getting a better than usual night of sleep (quality and quantity) or with the solid action plan for the day or the mix of several different activities which all hit on different strength sets. From my run to work to my lifting to dinner at home to yoga to riding with Gavin while he drove on a spare tire for the first time I’ve been tuned in very well. Not sure how to replicate it, but thinking the more I pause to be aware of presence the more well grounded I will be more often.
Attitude is everything and has such incredible power over how we see the world. When I take the time to choose the right mindset the world is a profoundly wonderful place, even when life is a little difficult. When I choose a poor mindset, especially over something minor, the world feels a little colder and I’m left feeling empty.
I’m currently chilling at the Charlotte airport, sitting at a countertop with my phone plugged in. I was supposed to be on my next flight by now, but that’s not how things worked out. Instead I’ve got a couple of hour delay before my last flight of the day.
It would be so easy to be frustrated over the added inconvenience, but that’s not the right choice. The better mindset is to see this as a blessing, some bonus time I’ve been gifted in order to work on a couple of projects. Over the past several hours I’ve both started constructing my presentation for the upcoming CVSHRM conference AND started working on an idea which could end up being my next book. The creative juices are flowing and I’ve now been given extra time to roll with it.
LOL – so I started on my title and ended up writing and re-writing it several times. None of the revisions had quite the right vibe so I’m blowing them all up, deleting the title, and starting with the body. Yes, this is the exact opposite of how writer Carmine Gallo teaches us to start writing a TED talk… thank goodness this is a blog and Carmine won’t be reading this 😉 Forget starting with the point, I’m letting my brain run wild and will come back to the point at the end. {fingers crossed}
Funny, I think I just landed on the topic, it wasn’t at all what I was expecting, but it is spot on. I’m grateful for creating the habit of writing about my gratitude each day. In the past I’ve written similar posts, but it just feels right to focus on it again this evening. As someone once wisely said, “we never step in the same river twice.” Though the topic may have similarities to what I’ve written in the past I am seeing it through a slightly different lens, changed by the perspective of time and experience.
In the past I’ve written about the beauty of having a journal of sorts to go back and rekindle old memories. I’ve also blogged about the peace of having time alone to wrap up the day. This is slightly different, tonight I’m thankful for the ability of writing a daily blog to allow me to sort out my thoughts, emotions, and experiences from throughout the day.
By pausing and reflecting on the day I create an opportunity to let the solids slowly precipitate out of suspension. This is my time to allow my brain to put together the 5,000 piece puzzle of experiences from the day. By writing I’m forced to process the day, think on it, and then translate it into written word. Writing in of itself is difficult, putting words to so many thoughts and ideas can be exhausting. Similar to distance running or weight lifting the exercise strengthens me though it may be uncomfortable at times.
This evening my brain was going to go down so many different paths, but after taking time to pause and reflect there are really only a couple of themes… rekindling and strengthening relationships, creating, moving in the direction of dreams, and pausing to appreciate all the gifts surrounding me – especially life itself. In taking time to process it all today I will be going to bed with a smile and a full heart. My gratitude becomes the lullaby which carries me off to peaceful rest. I sleep with the joy which can only come from thankfulness and stillness.
I’ve read portions of Walden by Thoreau but haven’t read it all the way through. When I went to order a copy online I happened across a book with that story as well as a handful of others. My plan was to read from Walden through the rest of the book, but last night I felt compelled to read the last story for some odd reason.
Laying in my hotel bed last night I read The Artist of the Beautiful by Nathaniel Hawthorne. I could hardly lay still in bed afterwards as my brain was consumed by the tale. The story has been on my mind all day long for a variety of reasons. I have a suspicion that it will haunt my thoughts the entirety of my life moving forward.
I do not want to spoil it for you if you have it read it before and will do my best to describe without giving anything away. If you’d ever like to talk with me about it in more detail I would be happy to.
While reading it there were many emotions stirred in my soul. Grit – the determination to see something through to completion. Self-worth – doing something specifically for oneself specifically because one can and also possesses a desire to do so. The stoic mindset of controlling only what one can control was seen throughout. Belief in one’s own ideals and a refusal to bend to the thoughts of the world. The beauty and simplicity found in nature. The passion that drives one to accomplish great things. Sacrificing desires for the grandest of dreams. The importance of living into one’s true self. All of these thoughts, themes, and emotions in one short story from a century and a half ago!
As I face my own personal trials and am at a crossroads of pursuing my true self this story has inspired me to be the best me I can and to trust and follow my dreams of creating something beautiful. I plan on revisiting this story often both as reminder and warning to help my choose and stay on my right path.
As the pieces come together on my writing I’m continually grateful for this journey. Losing Dad was the most difficult time of my life to date. The pain can still be raw at times. I often wish for an opportunity to have a few more minutes with him, another conversation, or another hug. The sense of loss will never leave my soul.
What’s interesting is that the more I write the more my thoughts shift from loss to gratitude for the time I had with Dad. So many wonderful moments, memories, and experiences with him. I am so fortunate to have had Dad in my life.
The more I write the more memories come back. The more I write those memories down the more memories that also rise up to the surface. And so it goes.
In many ways this journey has brought me closer to Dad. I’m seeing more clearly the impact he’s had on my life and the legacy I hope to leave my boys. As I write I’m seeing the good and the bad, what I’d love to grow into and the gaps I need to cross.
LOL – my hair, his mustache… two things we’d both like to forget 😉
All the while I know Dad is with me in this journey. I can feel him supporting and guiding me. We do this together. It isn’t my story I am writing, it is our story we’re writing. Each step is a smile, a discovery, a lesson, and a moment I’m grateful for.
