Tag: life

Thankful for Assuming Positive Intent, Music Therapy, & Connectedness

Day 3,644

Growth:

So often all we need is all around us, it is up to us to LISTEN for the answer. I was caught off guard while re-reading one of my favorite books today. They very briefly hit upon the concept of “Assuming positive intent,” and the profoundly positive impact this can have on our lives and interactions.

Rather than immediately assuming “the other side” is trying to destroy our nation/world what if we instead paused and considered their actions/words from the starting point of assuming positive intent. Why are they responding as they are? What is the underlying issue leading them down this path? Quite often it is likely similar to our own reasons – just executed differently. If we assume positive intent we can more easily listen to understand rather than listen to prove wrong.

This will be in the forefront of my mind – assume positive intent before being so quick to judge.

Appreciation:

Part way through my drive up north this morning I realized I needed some music therapy for my soul. I like to utilize my drive time as learning time, focusing on how to improve myself with what could so easily be dead time rather than alive time. I feel more productive when I spend the time filling my brain with ideas, pausing to digest and consider what I’ve learned.

This morning I needed to spend some time in quiet calm, listening to music to relax my mind and soul. It was time for some therapy, some rejuvenation. I found it in music. For almost half an hour I went from song to song to soak up the energy I needed to feel recharged and ready for the day.

By the time I got to the office my head and heart were in the right palce to dive in and make a positive impact.

Presence:

With so much discontent and anger and hate and divisiveness in our world I found sanctuary and solace in M83’s song Outro.

While driving to the Eau Claire office this morning I almost had to pull the car over as I was completely overcome with the emotion of pure love and connectedness with all people and all creation while this song reached its crescendo.

Pause your life, shut everything else off, turn on this song, close your eyes, and feel the love and connection you have with all people. I hope you will be moved as I was – awakened in the love of the connections we all share.

When it is my time to go this song (from 1:30 on) will be the last music my soul plays before moving on. Beautiful, breathtaking.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Love Over Hate, Hard Moments, & Reckoning

Day 3,636

Growth:

No matter how deeply we disagree with someone’s ideas, murder is never the answer.

No matter how much we disagree with someone’s ideas murder is never the answer. There are so many other ways to deal with disagreement, taking a life cannot be the resolution.

Tonight a family has lost their dad due to hate and fear.

There is always a better way of overcoming. As people face fear and hate with more fear and hate there is no positive end to the story, only a sickening spiral of more and more hate and fear. Is it so difficult to face fear with love instead?

Appreciation:

I don’t know about you, but when I think of “gratitude” and “appreciation” I usually think of happiness. That’s not always the case. Sometimes life hands us challenges so inconceivable that appreciation feels impossible. That said, those are so often the moments in which we have so much to be grateful for. We don’t have to be grateful for the tragedy itself—let’s be real, it sucked. But we can choose how to move forward. But we can’t change it once it has happened, we can only choose how to move forward, how to use that as an opportunity for growth.

Today was rough for me, much more than I ever would have expected, but I think it was largely because it caused a very necessary moment of awareness. While I wish Charlie Kirk would not have been killed, I cannot change it. I can remember this moment, remember the lessons learned about the true vile ugliness of hate and fear – regardless of whether you feel the other person is right or wrong – is never the right answer. Love is. Rather than lashing out in anger or in fear, reach out in love.

Presence:

Oof, this one hit hard today. I’m still not one hundred percent sure why this one after so many others, so many that one seems to almost become numb to all of the ongoing gun violence and loss of life. I wasn’t a fan of his—I disagreed with him on so many levels—but the sudden, instant loss of a life was still jarring. I really don’t have a better way of stating it, the clarity of that moment, the awareness of the wrongness… maybe it had more to do with the frustration and anger I’ve felt over so many things related to politics, seeing where it can go if completely unchecked and unhinged to such an insane extreme, made me instantly aware of how wrong my low level anger and fear are, how wrong I am to fight fear with fear rather than love.

In an instant, I saw where unchecked fear leads—and it was horrifying. Violence, hate, and fear are never the answer. Sometimes there will be pushback, disagreement, but it should always be with love rather than hate.

A wise man tried to teach us that 2,000 years ago—and we killed Him for it. His response was forgiveness. His response was love. That’s the path we should choose too: love over fear.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Perfect Weekend Day

Day 3,632 (Crazy to think that it will be a DECADE of daily blogging in only 22 days!)

There is so much to unpack from today, but it is all pretty simple in the overall concept… This was pretty much the perfect weekend day. So much happening, so many moments of presence, reminders of appreciation throughout, lots of personal connection, and so many nuggets of learning mixed in.

Maybe the best way to run this one out is to go with a list kind of day. Additionally, this format provides me an opportunity to walk back through the day in a little more full detail and enjoy it all a second time 😉

  • The morning started off with a mug full of some amazing coffee. Scratch that, it started off with the aroma of freshly ground, freshly brewed coffee while I laid in bed as Becky had gotten up before me and worked her magic.
  • Breakfast was a couple of slices of cold pizza leftover from last night – glorious!
  • To kick off the morning Becky found a hysterical video which caused me to laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes. Short and sweet, but nice starting the day with a good belly laugh like that!
  • Becky and I packed up for hiking and a trip to Eau Claire to watch Dominic’s rugby scrimmage. As we got rolling she recommended we fire up a podcast she had recently listened to. The Ologies podcast has been one of her recent go to’s and this episode was focused specifically on the science of happiness. Here were some of the key takeaways and moments of a-ha’s!
    • The concept of “Time Affluence,” the sense of having enough time, is a critical component of happiness. This really hit home with how I feel amazing on days like today (very limited structure) and I feel almost claustrophobic on days when I am planning out my next few weeks.
    • Choosing to view ourselves Objectively rather than Relatively. Consider the studies of happiness levels of someone who won the silver medal versus the bronze medal. The bronze medalist is almost always smiling much bigger than the silver medalist who often looks sad and disappointed. Consider that we are really good at something or that we really enjoyed something, don’t compare it to what others do or what they have. Look internally for happiness.
    • Are we happy both “in our life” and “with our life”? Are we happy in the moment of what we are doing in life? Are we happy with where our life is going towards a purpose? Both are important and and not always related (and sometimes can almost be at odds with each other).
    • Awareness, awareness, awareness! Step outside of ourselves and observe how we are reacting to something, consider why we are reacting that way. Don’t observe with the intent of changing or correcting, rather, observe to understand more fully. We can’t fix what we are not aware of.
    • I’d 100% recommend this podcast to anyone looking to add a little extra joy to their lives (that should be all of us, right?). Check out the episode we listened to here: https://www.alieward.com/ologies/eudemonologyencore
  • The conversations Becky and I got into while listening to the podcast and after the podcast were engaging and insightful. So appreciative to be in love with a fellow lifelong learner!
  • Our hike in Perot was soooooo chill! The weather was perfect, the trails were quiet, so much to observe and take in all around us. Everything was so green it was awesome! The feel of hiking on a fall day is something I will never tire of. Hiking with Becky and joking, talking, and walking in silence, all exactly what I needed.
  • While on the hike I was reminded of an adventure Steve and I went on kayaking on the Black River a while back, it may have spurred on ideas to attempt it again.
  • Dominic’s rugby scrimmage was so much fun to watch! He was one of the starters and got quite a few opportunities to impact the game on both offense and defense. So much fun watching him do something he loves.
  • During the game I was able to make a quick sprint and caught a ball way out of bounds. I know, super cheesy, but it was so much fun to enjoy the fleeting moment of feeling like I was almost in the game, almost a kid again. Super minor, but such a blast regardless!
  • A handful of Dominic’s friends from high school came to the match to cheer him on. They hung out with Becky and I throughout the game and we shot the bull the entire time. so much fun seeing the kids we used to see often grow into the men they have become. I swear each age of our son’s and their friends has somehow continued to be better than the year before.
  • Our ride back was so chill, the dog was absolutely toast from all the hiking and excitement. We stopped by the apple orchard, grabbed some apples, ciders, and maybe a caramel apple pie or two. So nice being outside and having a little mini date with the two of us. Fresh apples off the tree… so deelish!
  • At the grocery store we saw a mom with two small kids which brought back fond memories for us as well as a little laugh as we saw reminders of the happiness podcast concepts in her expression.
  • Gavin was home from his volunteer work and was in an awesomely talkative mood. We shot the bull for a while and then the and I continued the conversation at Dick’s as we picked up a knee brace for him. We may have also had some bonus fun dreaming up a home gym and pricing it out while we were there. Great one on one time with him, nice to have such fun conversation with him.
  • I got a little bonus time to make a quick fix on the grill as it warmed up. Nothing crazy or difficult, but just enough to feel like I got to problem solve, work with my hands, and be productive. A nice little chill moment.
  • There were a couple of awesome brother moments that don’t need detail. Long story short, I was reminded of one of the many reasons I love my brother and how grateful I am for the relationship my sons have with each other.
  • Grilling brats, drinking a hard cider, joking with the family. Throw in eating out of my grandma’s old stainless steel bowls from the 1950’s and it was a wonderful dinner outside on the deck!
  • Game night was fun (even though Gavin destroyed Becky and I in both Catan and Skipbo), another evening spent around the kitchen table, one of my favorite places in the world. The addition of caramel apple pie with vanilla caramel ice cream was a banger!
  • As we wrapped up the night Gavin and I fired up a movie. Sitting on the couch and taking it in we were both making comments on what we appreciated about it. I also look forward to knowing we’ll bring it up in conversation on again off again for the better part of a week or two, reminding us of that time together. Nice and chill to wrap things up.
  • Typing this blog has only increased the size of my smile today! Crazy to see all that happened appear as words on my screen. Each memory has brought back a smile and jogged my memory on other things I was grateful for. This daily thought practice has been proven over and over again over the past ten years to help me sleep with a focus on good stuff in life so much more than the frustrating.

Whew!!! What a day!!! Seriously, so many moments of joy throughout the day. I grew. I appreciated. I was present. Throw all of those together with the connections with those I love and it was pretty epic. To all who played a part in my today, thank you!!!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Stillness, More Stillness, & the Nexus of Past, Present, and Future

Day 3,591

Growth:

Create space for stillness, room for your mind and soul to open and relax, to not have something which must be done, but rather, to just exist, to be. Sit still, let your mind go, and allow yourself to just be present in the moment. In that quiet, in that stillness – past the initial discomfort of the silence – is joy, your soul, being.

Appreciation:

Being at home today was so rejuvenating! Doing our normal Sunday activities, spending time at home, eating at our table, doing odds and ends around home. Exactly what was needed to get back up to speed after the past week of seemingly nonstop travel.

As I wrap up the night and prepare for bed I am pausing to enjoy some quiet in the living room all alone. It is quiet, I’ve got some excellent music playing (M83 – Outro: https://youtu.be/C0d_74wweFg?si=8ulVjkneFfpHdMB3 ) and I’ve been taking time to allow my mind to be still. Time alone with my thoughts, time with no expectation of progress or result, time existing. So much of what I needed!

Presence:

Those little moments of sharing bits of knowledge learned from others being passed on to others. A nexus of past experiences lived in the present moment with the hope of living again in the future. As simple and mundane as those moments may seem at times they are the points of wonderful memory. today it was in helping to show Gavin how to change windshield wipers and replace the broken glass of a side mirror. In the past it was working with Dad on how to change the air filter. Nothing special in of the moment itself, but beautiful as I step back and savor the memories of the past, enjoy the moment as it happens, and hope that the memory will repeat itself in the future.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Turning the Obstacle Into the Way, Clarity, & the Black River Mirror

Day 3,508

Growth:

In an homage to The Obstacle is the Way I found way to turn a frustrating construction induced traffic jam into an engaging use of the “bonus” time… Nothing like reconnecting with my little brother when our work and life schedules have kept us apart for a while! Rather than wasting energy on stressing over the delay I was able to spend time laughing hard, shooting the bull, and taking a moment to find much needed levity on a heavy day.

Appreciation:

We always have a choice to make, how we will respond to whatever hand we’ve been dealt. These choices aren’t always easy, we often have to choose between the difficult or more difficult decision.

In either case, we must first start with a sense of reality and acceptance of what is happening. We must pause, observe it for what it is – simply an action / issue / challenge – and withhold judgement on whether it is good or bad. The issue is simply what it is, we choose the perspective to attach to it (or choose not to). Once we see it clearly, as it is without our filter applied to it, we can then determine the action to take, the choice to be made.

Throughout this year I’ve been focusing on seeing with clarity. As a natural optimist it is so easy to get an unrealistically positive impression of something. I must focus more on seeing with reality first, and then applying the positivity to the decision. Adding positivity to the challenge itself doesn’t help, it actually hurts. See the issues with clarity and without judgement first, make a decision, and then maintain positivity in the potential outcome while still preparing for failure.

Today I lived into that and it made all the difference.

Presence:

The Black River was sublimely calm this morning as Becky and I struck out on our early morning run. The pre-sunrise painted sky was reflected perfectly in the mirror glass of the water. We were able to look out and see exactly where five fish had jumped almost at once, their ripples all emanating from the launching points. So chill, so calm, so perfect a start to the day.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Stepping Back for Clarity, Working Through Hurt, & Repeat 1

Day 3,431

Growth:

Interesting how sometimes stepping back can provide so much clarity. Our mental lint filters get a little clogged up and we need to step back, clean them out, and then start fresh. Often the insights of others can help us get there. Pause, reflect, ask advice, seek input, and then take action.

Appreciation:

This evening I’ve sat in front of my computer and stared at this blank section. I’ve typed the Growth and Presence portions already, this one has been empty with nothing but a flashing line waiting to release letters. I’m incredibly frustrated today, no need to dive into it any further than than, not with anything related to work or Becky and boys, with other aspects of life. My soul hurts, I’m angry, and I’m so frustrated that I know any response right now – save writing this blog – would not likely be the right one.

I need to reflect further, dive into the why behind the emotion, and remember that above all else we were created to love. That can be be wildly difficult for me to remember and I’m starting to see that it is likely at the core of my hurt – the dissonance of the emotions and the necessary response. Maybe it is because I don’t know how to allow myself to love those I despise, or maybe because I am so unwilling to do so because of my anger. When is the right time to stand up and take action? When is the right time to put my head down and be invisible? When should I calm my emotions and let logic rule? When should I free my emotions in a righteous rage? Are there even right answers to be found?

As I type this I want to circle back to what I am grateful for. I’m grateful for having found a journaling practice like this to help me work through the hurt. I’m grateful for this exercise which helps me remember to stay focused on the positive. I’m appreciative for the wisdom to know it is okay to not be okay all the time. I’m glad I’ve learned to not act out in emotion unless it is logically prudent to do so.

So long as I am alive I have the opportunity to learn and grow. Through the darkest times we learn and grow most. This really sucks right now, but I know I must be growing and learning – though I’d kind of like to have a pause soon. 😉

Presence:

Sometimes there are moments in which when I have learned to pause the audiobook and switch to music. Something within my soul needs to be soothed in those moments, and music or silence is typically the key. Today I listened to one of my favorite songs on repeat for part of the way to work and the entirety of the way home and it was exactly what I needed.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Choices and Grace, Dreamers and Doers, & Moonrise Over the Mississippi

Day 3,424

Growth:

Where do I choose to put my focus and energy? Life is full of situations, challenges, moments, and unexpected changes. Whatever they may be there is always a choice to make – what attitude will I choose? Once that mindset is chosen there is another choice to make – where do I put my focus and my energy?

In the moments when everything is going well it is so easy to make the right choices. When life becomes increasingly more complex it becomes more difficult to default to the right option.

As I navigate my current reality I’m also reminded to give myself grace throughout. While I can always work and strive to choose wisely there will likely always be times when I stumble. When I trip it is so easy to focus on that and then slowly spiral down. In those moments when I fall I must remember to give myself grace, take a step back to have better awareness of what happened, learn from it, and then move forward. That’s the appropriate choice after choosing poorly.

Appreciation:

Spending time talking with others about their adventures, their travels, and their dreams is always so enlightening! When hearing how others are maximizing their lives and living into their dreams I can’t help but have a heart full of joy and feel more motivated to grow into that myself. So much of our joy is truly to be found only within ourselves and independent of others, yet sharing time with those who live the way you wish to so quickly amplifies our joy as well. Tonight I’m grateful for the moments over the past few days in which I’ve been surrounded by those in noble pursuit of joy and living their dreams, they’ve warmed my heart for sure!

Presence:

On my drive home from work my mind was racing a million miles per hour and I was feeling very overwhelmed. As I happen to glance to my left I noticed the full moon rising over the Mississippi River Valley. It was stunningly vibrant, while simultaneously softened by the clouds. The silvery reflection off the snow, ice, and bluffs was simply breathtaking!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Surplus of Dreams and a Deficit of Time, Productivity Lessons, & a Brutal Lifting Workout

Day 3,187

Growth:

Life is so much easier when I pause and remember that I do not have the time or capacity needed to tackle all of the crazy ideas and dreams and projects I would like to take on. I will forever have a surplus of goals and plans and a deficit of the time I wish I had to accomplish everything, and that is okay. This makes it all the more important for me to focus on intentionally spending my precious time on those dreams which are of the utmost importance rather than on matters which are not of consequence.

When I am feeling overwhelmed and as if I don’t have enough time I need to remember to pause, review what is truly most important, focus on that in that moment, and be grateful for the opportunity to have that moment of life to use.

Appreciation:

When I wrapped up my day yesterday I had a very clear list of what needed to get done today. I didn’t get it all done, but I didn’t waste any time or energy. My focus was exactly where it needed to be. There were several moments in which my brain started to wander to other things and just as I was about go in a wrong direction I had awareness and went right back to focus mode. The results was an awesomely productive day that I am very pleased with.

As I analyze why it was successful I pinpointed a few notes to save for Future Mike:

  • Review what is truly important, slice it into what is most important today, and then focus there
  • Have a very clear list of what needs to get done and in order of how it needs to happen
  • Maintain awareness of where my mind should be focused and catch myself when it wanders
  • Give myself grace to take a pause or a break – not unintentionally and time wasting, rather, focused on re-charging my brain
  • Close the door and turn on the right music when needed
  • The overwhelming majority of phone calls, emails, and messages can wait until a future time
  • If the day flew by I am doing it right

Over 25 years of working in the professional world and I’m still reminded of how much there is to learn and how much more discipline there is to build.

Presence:

Lifting today was pretty brutal. I wasn’t even close to lifting the weights I should be lifting. It was all aboard the struggle bus time. By the last reps of the last set of each exercise my muscles were shaking. I didn’t even get to the number of reps I was shooting for in each set. t hurt. It was mentally taxing. My ego got the shit kicked out of it. In so many ways I could look at today’s lifting as a complete failure and disappointment…

…but I experienced and view it as an overwhelming SUCCESS.

This was my first time lifting in about four weeks due to travel and crazy pre-travel schedule. I was going in completely rusty and rather than not showing up or quitting early I chose to finish the workout. I struggled but I pushed. I gave myself the grace to drop the weight in-between sets so I could keep the right form. I didn’t stop until my muscles did. I took the step of re-starting, I took action.

The next round will be similar, but each subsequent session will feel better and better. Today I took the first step. It hurt, but I felt great.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Setting Goals in Advance, the Serenity NOW!!!, & Eating Outside

Day 3,121

Growth:

With selling our boat there were two big goals we had – sell it quickly rather than drag on the process and get a fair price for it. We did our research on the set up and set the price very fair. When I posted it this morning I wasn’t sure what to expect. Within two hours we had almost a dozen offers!

While part of me questioned whether I priced it too low or not I remembered to pause and consider the goal. Get it sold quickly and at a fair price. The asking price we threw out there was very fair and I would have been happy to get it. With as quickly as the offers came in I couldn’t help but wonder if I should have priced it lower. When this thought came up I just kept going back to the initial goal, why second guess what I thought was fair from the beginning?

The entire process has been a wonderful opportunity to learn about myself and my values. So thankful for remembering to set goals when I have the benefit of extra time, less emotion, and a clear head. In the heat of the moment it is so easy to second guess and reconsider, remember to think ahead and trust the plan.

Appreciation:

Selling the boat has been a bittersweet process. While it is time to move on as the boys have outgrown it and we want to move on to other water based adventures (canoeing and kayaking), there are so many family stories and memories tied up in the boat. For the past 14-ish years we’ve spent a ton of our spare summer time on boat as a family soaking up the sun, playing in the sand, and splashing in the water. Wrapping up this chapter brings back so many memories and emotion.

Who’d ever have thought you could go through a sort of grieving process over the loss of a boat? For sure, the metal itself isn’t a big deal, just the memories it symbolizes. When I remember that it is so much easier to let it go. The memories will live on regardless of if have it, and now someone else will have the opportunity to create more memories with their family.

Here’s to 14 years of a vessel for our family fun and bonding!

Presence:

Is there any better place to eat a family meal than outside on the deck? The weather today was PERFECT and we ate both lunch and supper outside in the sun. Gotta love how much better the food tastes when it is eaten outside!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Two Nuggets from Classics, Winners and Losers, & After Work Catch with Gavin

Day 3,046

Growth:

Very interesting insights from two different books today,

From Essentialism: We can multi-task, but we cannot multi-focus. We can accomplish multiple tasks at one time so long as they are so simple as to not need focus. We can only truly focus on one thing at a time. Choose what needs to be focused on.

From Atomic Habits:  This is one I’ve likely mentioned before, but each time I read it the light bulb still lights up. You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. Big goals without appropriate systems in place will not be accomplished. Dream big, put time into building the system to help you reach the dream.

Appreciation:

The song Winners and Losers by Social Distortion is one I like to load into my playlist from time to time to remind me of our ability to choose. Such a gritty gut punch, there is nothing to soften the blow of the lyrics. The music is so intentionally rough and reverberates through you while the lyrics cut deep into the choice we each make each moment of each day we are alive… ”Which one will I be today?”

Will I be the me who lives into the person I am called to be or will I be the me who makes the wrong choice, is pulled by temptation and ego, and lives further across the gap than I normally would be? Each day we struggle within ourselves to choose how we will live, how we react, how we see the world. 

This song is a reminder of the struggle we each have every single day, the choice we have to make on how we will live our lives in each moment.

Winners and losers turn the pages of my life
We’re beggars and choosers, with all the struggles and the strife
I got no reason to turn my head and look the other way
We’re good and we’re evil, which one will I be today?
There’s saints and sinners
Life’s a gamble and you might lose
There’s cowards and heroes
Both have been known now to break the rules
There’s lovers and haters
The strong and the weak will all have their day
We’re devils and angels
Which one will I be today?
Are you happy now with all the choices you’ve made?
Are there times in life when you know you should’ve stayed?
Will you compromise, then realize the price is too much to pay?
Winners and losers, which one will you be today?
There’s a light and a dark side
Standing at the crossroads, there we’ll meet
There’s prophets and fools there
The lies and the truth will be at our feet
I got a reason
To turn my head and look the other way
It’s heaven and hell here
Which one will I live today?
Are you happy now with all the choices you’ve made?
Are there times in life when you know you should’ve stayed?
Did you compromise and realize the price was too much to pay?
Winners and losers, which one will you be today?
Which one will you be today?
Which one will I be today?

Social Distortion – Winners and Losers

Presence:

This evening when I got home from work it was already dark, but Gavin and I turned on the lights and threw the football around outside. Of all of the moments of the day it was the one I was the most present in. Spending some bonus time with just the two of us, outside, and joking around was exactly what my soul needed. Those bonding moments are amongst my favorite!

Thanks!!!