As I’ve started reading Montaigne by Stefan Zweig there’ve been so many little nuggets of wisdom I’ve filed away to reflect on in the future. This one in particular struck me with the current state of affairs in our society / nation / world.
I do not subscribe to this communal error of judging a man according to the way I perceive things.
Stefan Zweig, Montaigne
Appreciation:
Today was an awesomely productive day, a nonstop high speed thrill ride of errands, projects, and other assorted tasks. For sure, it was a day largely full of adulting, but all in a very positive way. Funny how I used to look forward to days with nothing to do but sit on the couch and watch football, now I find days like this to be so much more rewarding and fulfilling!
This has been a bit of an ongoing theme over the past few days. Looking at several years ago when I would take Friday off for Oktoberfest and have too many beers, now I had the perfect Friday off thanks for knocking out a 15 mile hike and then spent the evening at Gavin’s football game. So much more rewarding and fulfilling than how I lived life a ways back. For sure, it wasn’t anything crazy or out of control, but even just the difference in scenery this year is so much more my style and my jam.
As I keep typing and thinking about this, I guess that’s what I am most grateful for today… a better understanding of or maybe a better awareness of what brings me the most joy and leads me towards my purpose AND then choosing it and enjoying it even if that path isn’t quite as relaxing as the other.
Presence:
Spending time in the workshop with Gavin as we built a fixture to help him cut lumber for his Eagle project was a blast! So grateful for the father son time up in the workshop – full of jokes, talks, coaching, teaching, and creating. The time we spent there and in working on his project today was a wonderful way to spend the day! Projects like that with him cause time to fly and memories to be made.
This is it, tonight’s post marks the 3,652nd straight day of blogging about at least one thing I am grateful for – one full decade of daily gratitude blogging is complete! So crazy that I can still remember the very first day of blogging and how I hoped to keep it going for one year (or at least a few months).
Taking time to pause real life to focus on what I am thankful for has had a more profound positive impact on my life than I ever initially thought it could. This process has helped me through incredibly difficult times (like Dad’s sudden and very unexpected death). This process has helped me better appreciate the incredibly excellent times (like all the milestones with Becky and the boys). This process has also helped me be so much more thankful for all of the ordinary days filled with work, yoga, outside time, and whatnot. Had it not been for this ongoing effort to be more intentionally thankful there are so many moments I would have missed or at least missed the deeper meaning of.
Each day the focus on appreciation shifts the filter of my brain as I know each day I will be accountable to myself for blogging about something I am grateful for, this means each of my mornings start off with the question, “what am I going to be thankful for today?” That subtle behavior shift causes me to start looking for the upside in everything right off the bat.
Throughout the past decade I’ve also unintentionally created a journal of my life. Stories I would have potentially forgotten have been recorded to go back to, to remind me of so many of the simple treasures in life. Taking time to go back and read them reminds me of where I’ve been, remind me of lessons to remember, and bring back so many smiles.
This daily process has also helped me learn what is truly important in life. “Stuff” doesn’t bring joy, enjoying what we already have does. The concept of joy being “wanting what we have rather than having what we want” has become so clear to me. The more I am grateful for what I have the more I realize the less I actually need. Quite often the introduction of that which I do not need leads to additional stress and anxiety, certainly the opposite of joy.
The more I’ve blogged the more I realize how much I appreciate time with Becky and my boys, spending time with outdoors in motion, taking in the simple moments of stillness in life. A good book, an emotion provoking song, a sweaty yoga session, a hike. Even writing – something I never enjoyed before this blog – has become one of my sanctums of joy. My joy doesn’t come from shiny things, from approval of others, or status and achievement, rather it comes from appreciating time with my family, time alone in thought, and all the splendor and beauty of the natural world.
This daily process, this time for daily reflection, has become a cornerstone of who I am. It has helped me work on closing the gap between who I am and who I am called to be. This daily gratitude journaling has helped me become a more joyful me.
Cheers to the first decade of this daily appreciation process, and I look forward to decades to come!
Remember to put intentionality into where I spend my time. Minutes, hours, and days slip by so quickly if I don’t pause and consider whether I’m intentionally using the them the right way. Stay focused on my goals – both long and short term – and act accordingly with urgency. Don’t let it slip away.
One day, my father, he told me, “Son, don’t let it slip away” He took me in his arms, I heard him say “When you get older, your wild heart will live for younger days Think of me if ever you’re afraid”
Avicii, The Nights
Appreciation:
Along the lines of remembering what is important – I am especially grateful for taking action to do just that today! Between scheduling a weekend for camping with a lifelong friend, choosing to be present and moving early in the morning, taking time to shut down everything except playing a game with Gavin, being focused and present in a conversation with Dominic on Facetime, being there for others as needed, and planning ahead for an adventure (maybe two) I spent a lot of time on working towards where I want to be going, on my purpose, and towards my dreams. Here’s to a day that was largely focused on moving forward with intentionality with a whole lot of fun in the now throughout!
Presence:
Taking the time to go for a five mile walk to start off the morning is always the right answer (unless I’m either running or hiking or yoga is an option). Getting up and getting moving, spending time without a phone or a screen, alternating between interacting with Becky and letting my thoughts drift. It’s almost a walking meditation, letting go of everything else and living exclusively in the now.
Regardless of the decisions I’ll make throughout the rest of the day I know I started the right way, I chose action, and I chose moving stillness.
Jim Collins’ concept of a 20 Mile March is that we should focus on maintaining a rigorous yet manageable pace in the work that we do. Today I felt the downside of pushing too hard for too long, the week was a hardcore push and had very positive results, but I was completely gassed a little before I crossed the finish line.
Something for me to remember to work towards, keep an even flow throughout the week as much as possible, the more intense the beginning the more likely I’ll be less than 100% by the end.
Appreciation:
Sometimes we’ve got a football game for Gavin, other times it gets postponed due to lightning 🤷♂️
Due to the postponement we’ve got some bonus time on our hands this evening and I’ve made wonderful use of it – relaxing, writing this, and heading to bed early.
We can’t control what happens, but we can control how we utilize the bonus time!
Presence:
Couple of great moments from this morning included a small green tree frog jumping on my toe and a sunrise with Leia.
Day 3,632 (Crazy to think that it will be a DECADE of daily blogging in only 22 days!)
There is so much to unpack from today, but it is all pretty simple in the overall concept… This was pretty much the perfect weekend day. So much happening, so many moments of presence, reminders of appreciation throughout, lots of personal connection, and so many nuggets of learning mixed in.
Maybe the best way to run this one out is to go with a list kind of day. Additionally, this format provides me an opportunity to walk back through the day in a little more full detail and enjoy it all a second time 😉
The morning started off with a mug full of some amazing coffee. Scratch that, it started off with the aroma of freshly ground, freshly brewed coffee while I laid in bed as Becky had gotten up before me and worked her magic.
Breakfast was a couple of slices of cold pizza leftover from last night – glorious!
To kick off the morning Becky found a hysterical video which caused me to laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes. Short and sweet, but nice starting the day with a good belly laugh like that!
Becky and I packed up for hiking and a trip to Eau Claire to watch Dominic’s rugby scrimmage. As we got rolling she recommended we fire up a podcast she had recently listened to. The Ologies podcast has been one of her recent go to’s and this episode was focused specifically on the science of happiness. Here were some of the key takeaways and moments of a-ha’s!
The concept of “Time Affluence,” the sense of having enough time, is a critical component of happiness. This really hit home with how I feel amazing on days like today (very limited structure) and I feel almost claustrophobic on days when I am planning out my next few weeks.
Choosing to view ourselves Objectively rather than Relatively. Consider the studies of happiness levels of someone who won the silver medal versus the bronze medal. The bronze medalist is almost always smiling much bigger than the silver medalist who often looks sad and disappointed. Consider that we are really good at something or that we really enjoyed something, don’t compare it to what others do or what they have. Look internally for happiness.
Are we happy both “in our life” and “with our life”? Are we happy in the moment of what we are doing in life? Are we happy with where our life is going towards a purpose? Both are important and and not always related (and sometimes can almost be at odds with each other).
Awareness, awareness, awareness! Step outside of ourselves and observe how we are reacting to something, consider why we are reacting that way. Don’t observe with the intent of changing or correcting, rather, observe to understand more fully. We can’t fix what we are not aware of.
I’d 100% recommend this podcast to anyone looking to add a little extra joy to their lives (that should be all of us, right?). Check out the episode we listened to here: https://www.alieward.com/ologies/eudemonologyencore
The conversations Becky and I got into while listening to the podcast and after the podcast were engaging and insightful. So appreciative to be in love with a fellow lifelong learner!
Our hike in Perot was soooooo chill! The weather was perfect, the trails were quiet, so much to observe and take in all around us. Everything was so green it was awesome! The feel of hiking on a fall day is something I will never tire of. Hiking with Becky and joking, talking, and walking in silence, all exactly what I needed.
While on the hike I was reminded of an adventure Steve and I went on kayaking on the Black River a while back, it may have spurred on ideas to attempt it again.
Dominic’s rugby scrimmage was so much fun to watch! He was one of the starters and got quite a few opportunities to impact the game on both offense and defense. So much fun watching him do something he loves.
During the game I was able to make a quick sprint and caught a ball way out of bounds. I know, super cheesy, but it was so much fun to enjoy the fleeting moment of feeling like I was almost in the game, almost a kid again. Super minor, but such a blast regardless!
A handful of Dominic’s friends from high school came to the match to cheer him on. They hung out with Becky and I throughout the game and we shot the bull the entire time. so much fun seeing the kids we used to see often grow into the men they have become. I swear each age of our son’s and their friends has somehow continued to be better than the year before.
Our ride back was so chill, the dog was absolutely toast from all the hiking and excitement. We stopped by the apple orchard, grabbed some apples, ciders, and maybe a caramel apple pie or two. So nice being outside and having a little mini date with the two of us. Fresh apples off the tree… so deelish!
At the grocery store we saw a mom with two small kids which brought back fond memories for us as well as a little laugh as we saw reminders of the happiness podcast concepts in her expression.
Gavin was home from his volunteer work and was in an awesomely talkative mood. We shot the bull for a while and then the and I continued the conversation at Dick’s as we picked up a knee brace for him. We may have also had some bonus fun dreaming up a home gym and pricing it out while we were there. Great one on one time with him, nice to have such fun conversation with him.
I got a little bonus time to make a quick fix on the grill as it warmed up. Nothing crazy or difficult, but just enough to feel like I got to problem solve, work with my hands, and be productive. A nice little chill moment.
There were a couple of awesome brother moments that don’t need detail. Long story short, I was reminded of one of the many reasons I love my brother and how grateful I am for the relationship my sons have with each other.
Grilling brats, drinking a hard cider, joking with the family. Throw in eating out of my grandma’s old stainless steel bowls from the 1950’s and it was a wonderful dinner outside on the deck!
Game night was fun (even though Gavin destroyed Becky and I in both Catan and Skipbo), another evening spent around the kitchen table, one of my favorite places in the world. The addition of caramel apple pie with vanilla caramel ice cream was a banger!
As we wrapped up the night Gavin and I fired up a movie. Sitting on the couch and taking it in we were both making comments on what we appreciated about it. I also look forward to knowing we’ll bring it up in conversation on again off again for the better part of a week or two, reminding us of that time together. Nice and chill to wrap things up.
Typing this blog has only increased the size of my smile today! Crazy to see all that happened appear as words on my screen. Each memory has brought back a smile and jogged my memory on other things I was grateful for. This daily thought practice has been proven over and over again over the past ten years to help me sleep with a focus on good stuff in life so much more than the frustrating.
Whew!!! What a day!!! Seriously, so many moments of joy throughout the day. I grew. I appreciated. I was present. Throw all of those together with the connections with those I love and it was pretty epic. To all who played a part in my today, thank you!!!
Father Sam’s sermon this morning was engaging and impactful. He started down a path he’d predetermined and seemed to drift off as he was putting additional thoughts together from his experiences. What’s interesting and stuck out to me was that the prepared portion hit him to a point in which he was able to improvise as he processed further – and that was where the truly good stuff was!
The key learning moment for me was this, preparation is necessary to position us to utilize our ongoing love of learning to flex into a place in which our untethered mind is free to explore.
Appreciation:
“It is only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”
Chuck Palahniuk
There’s a point in which it becomes so easy to let go, to step back and see the world with clarity.
While Chuck’s quote above is on the extreme, we are presented moments in life in which we see the fissures in the “permanence” of what we’ve held as “truths.” In those cracks it is so easy to quickly pass them by, ignoring them in hopes we never look back nor remember them. They would show us what we’d rather forget and never know.
When we look into that crack, press our faces right up against the cool concrete wall to observe what’s on the other side, what really could be reality, we become instantly aware, we are changed.
Once we see what could be true we can start to let our mind grasp that potential truth, to play with it, to look at it from so many different angles, to accept it. In that moment we are able to live that quite AND without having truly lost everything. Quite the contrary, we are actually gaining something, a second potential reality, one in which we are not encumbered by reality. We can dream more freely than if we had never accepted a reality outside of our preconceived truth.
Seeing beyond the veil, peering through the crack. What a gift we are presented!
Presence:
The little moments of human connection in real life, face to face. In those moments, if we choose to be present, we have an opportunity to brighten the life of a fellow traveler, and for them to for the same for us. Several of those moments today, several smiles of connection.
Make the time to train others on the most important things, don’t always rush to do those tasks for them in an ill-fated effort to save time. Take the time, MAKE the time to teach and train. The return on investment will blow your mind over and over again BUT only when invested in the RIGHT people.
Appreciation:
I love curling up in my favorite sweatshirts on a cool evening. They warm and comfort me, their simple presence kindles the flame of my soul on such a basic level.
Certain books are “sweatshirt” books for me as well. In a similar fashion they help when I’m running cool, and warm my soul as I open their covers and smell the old pages. The subtle printing errors and smudges bringing a sense of home and of calm, a reminder that even the best of things are not perfect, though they are closer to perfect thanks to their imperfection.
Here’s to the “Sweatshirt” book I’ve busted out on a cold season of life, its heat is already warming my soul.
Presence:
My drive home was the site of my meltdown. It was a very busy day, for the large part very positive, but such a flurry of nonstop activity that my brain was completely overwhelmed by the end of the day. My neck is still stiff from the stress of busyness throughout the day. Again – almost everything was a positive! Successes of teammates abounded, signs of business growth, progress on so many different levels, yet my mind felt run into the ground as my legs after crossing the finish line of the marathon.
As I stared blankly out the windshield there was a bright flash out of the corner of my left eye, the setting sun casting a golden glow upon the exposed sandstone of the bluffs across the river channel. Then an eagle, no, two eagles, sitting in a tree watching for prey! I was flooded with awe, with wonder, with the natural beauty surrounding me.
Father Dodge had a wonderful sermon that I really didn’t want to hear today, usually the sign of one which I really needed to hear. Where there is discomfort there is usually room for growth.
In his sermon he reminded us that we are to love everyone, to want everyone to enter into heaven, for everyone to feel love. This is currently very difficult for me as I strongly disagree with several issues we are having as a society at large. It would (and has been) so much easier to be angry, to return hate with hate, and to be about as far from love as we should be.
As he spoke I couldn’t help but realize that this pushing back with anger and frustration is what is fueling the downward spiral we seem to be in. We should be remembering to love each other throughout, to pray for others, to help them understand that even if we disagree they are still humans, we should treat them all as we would be treated.
For sure – I am nowhere near ready to for this complete shift, I know what I should do and will work towards closing the gap between who I am and who I am called to be. As I reflect on the day I will be remembering to give a little extra prayer for those who need it, those who are acting from a place of hate, greed, ego, for them to find their way back to love for all humans and all life. I will say an extra prayer for all those who are directly impacted by the hateful and bitter action for them to have the courage to continue, the strength to keep fighting, and the ability to find a way to return love for hate. I will say a prayer for myself, to help me stay level minded, to help me know when and how it is appropriate to fight back, but in a way from the heart, with love. All in all, I’m praying for us to all remember to love each other and to treat each other well – especially when we don’t agree.
This evening I acted out in peaceful ways, a donation to an organization that could really use the extra help right now, sending messages to our congress on my thoughts on specific actions. Please consider doing the same. An organization which we’ve supported in the past that could use your help is the National Parks Conservation Association.
Appreciation:
I’ve been known to have some crazy idea, some might even say bad ideas form time to time. Nothing crazy or nefarious, rather ideas which many normal people would likely think a little out there. Case in point hiking a 50k last summer in the middle of a heat wave. Some have been so crazy they never happened, others I’ve seen through and maybe even questioned after the fact.
After Gavin finished reading The Long Walk by Stephen King this week he had an incredible idea – possibly a crazy one. We are going to do a 24 hour nonstop hike this summer just because we can. We’re going to start approximately 65-70 miles from home and follow the trail all the way back. Nothing short of ridiculous, no question, but it should be an incredible adventure, one we’ll remember for the long haul for sure!
Here’s to the crazy ideas, may they continue to invade our brain and lead us to many incredible shared moments together!
Presence:
Appreciate each moment, we don’t know how many more we have. In church today we received some deeply sad news of a parishioner who passed away from a very fast acting cancer. While we did’t know her well, we knew she and her husband well enough to enjoy a smile and a joke from time to time. Her death was a shock and that moment really hit hard. Her husband is the one I blogged about years ago as “the guy at church who reminds me of Dad.” My heart goes out to him and their family. Enjoy the moments we have, we are not promised tomorrow.
Today has been a powerful reminder of why I write each day. It’s a practice of reflection—an opportunity to process my experiences, thoughts, and emotions, helping me bridge the gap between who I am and who I strive to be.
When someone lets us down or disappoints us, we have a choice in how we respond. I often find myself oscillating between anger, frustration, apathy, and sadness. But the interesting thing is this: my reaction is entirely up to me.
If we strip away our initial emotions, most disappointments come down to a simple fact—someone took an action they believed was right. Few people intentionally choose to do the wrong thing. The action itself is neutral; it’s neither good nor bad until we assign meaning to it.
Let that sink in for a moment. The action itself is neutral. We are the ones who apply context, emotion, and judgment. And in doing so, we determine our response. Yes, their action may be the opposite of what we wanted or expected, but our reaction? That’s entirely ours to own.
Anthony de Mello captures this truth beautifully in Awareness:
“I have no right to make any demands of you.
I have no right to make any demands of you. Oh, I’ll protect myself from the consequences of your actions or moods or whatever, but you can go right ahead be what you choose to be.
I have no right to make any demands of you.”
Anthony de Mello
At the end of the day, the only thing we truly control is our response. People will act in ways we disagree with. They will frustrate us. They will disappoint us. But they are free to do so. Their actions only gain meaning when we apply it.
Marcus Aurelius offers another timeless insight:
“Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.”
The choice is mine. Someone else may take an action I dislike, but it’s up to me whether I let it disrupt my peace. I can let it roll off. I can take steps to prevent it from happening again. I can move forward. Or, I can choose frustration and dwell in emotions that serve no purpose.
I choose to move forward.
Why waste time and energy longing for a different outcome when I never had control over it in the first place? Instead, I’ll choose focus. I’ll choose resilience. I’ll choose to protect my energy and not let frustration steal moments I can never get back.
Time is finite. Breath is precious. I won’t waste them in frustration.
Appreciation:
One of the reasons I enjoy blogging is the ability to reflect upon the entirety of the day rather than dwelling on just one or two specific incidents. As I started typing this section I paused and ran through the day from start to end and I couldn’t help but smile at so many positives and moments I am grateful for today!
Waking up to the aroma of coffee, a delicious coffee Becky picked up in her recent yoga retreat.
Seeing a text come across my phone early in the morning saying, “Pulled a Kreiling and went hiking before the sun was up this morning, just me and the dog!”
Stepping on the scale and seeing more progress than expected.
Shoveling snow with Becky while listening to great music, getting lost in the fresh air, movement, and tunes.
Growing through a challenging situation.
Getting to the grocery store on a Saturday only to find it relatively empty.
Sticking to my guns with my weekly goals and preventing temptation.
Seeing a video of Gavin setting his new bench press PR and hearing about how much fun he had with his teammates.
Hearing about Dominic’s rugby scrimmage and hearing the excitement in his texts.
So much outside time snowshoeing with Becky! More on that below.
Making progress on my checklist for the weekend and prepping my meals for next week.
Trading awesome texts with good friends.
Playing cards with Becky and Gavin after dinner, laughing, and joking, enjoying our time together.
Taking way more time than expected writing this blog, reflecting on the day, learning and growing.
All in all, it’s been a pretty awesome day, one made better as a result of taking time to type my blog.
Presence:
There was enough snow for snowshoeing today and we took full advantage of it! We headed out to Great River Bluffs State Park and spent time snowshoeing through fresh and untrodden snow. The fresh air, the untouched snow, and the un-hiked trails all led to an incredibly invigorating experience. Such a perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon!
All great transformations in life start with a very simple step, the awareness of a gap between who we are and who we could be.
If we don’t have awareness we don’t realize how badly we could use the change. We are don’t know that there’s a gap, a place to grow into. This can be such a frustrating moment, unhappy and not seeing a better path forward. We can even begin to feel helpless, constantly fighting against the tide.
Once we have the moment of awareness we can move forward, but can also feel so daunting or impossible. The gap may be significantly larger than we’d thought, possibly on the border of impossible. In its own way, this can be almost more demoralizing than not having awareness as it seems profoundly difficult to grasp.
Once we have the moment of awareness, once we can see across the chasm of where we are versus where we are we should be, we need to put our heads down and focus only on the single footstep ahead. See that spot twelve inches in front of us, will our foot to lift, our leg to move forward, and the foot comes down. One small step, but the greatest step after awareness – the first step! Celebrate it!!! We’ve made our trip across the gap a little shorter AND now we know we have the strength to take a step.
Now take another step, then another. Slow but steady progress, gaining momentum. You’ve got this. After s dozen or so steps look up to make sure you’re still headed the right way, and then head back down and focus on the twelve inches in front of you. In seemingly no time you will make significant progress.
All that progress, all started with a moment of awareness, all started with one tiny and small step.
Over the past 3,424 days I’ve taken tiny steps daily, pausing to reflect on what I appreciate. Each day is one tiny step forward, motion towards closing the gap.
Today I had a conversation with a friend that reminded me to pause and appreciate the momentum I’ve built over the past nine plus years. As I reflect on the journey my mind is blown. This all started with the awareness that I was not happy, in so many ways I felt empty, like a fraud, unsatisfied, always in pursuit of more. I was not in a good place mentally and emotionally. Awareness came first, the awareness of unhappiness and a gigantic gap on the other side of which was full of joy. I wanted to cross. It seemed impossible, but I took one step. And the another. And then more which led to today. The gap is still there, but I’ve made progress.
Awareness, action. One small step at a time leads to profound growth over years.
Appreciation:
Sometimes I get so frustrated I just want to quit. When I get in those funks they can be difficult to get out of. What I’ve found interesting recently is that every time I have felt this way recently I find that the reason for the frustration is something well under my control, something I have the ability to change. I just have pause, breathe, zoom out, look at the situation from afar, have awareness, give myself grace to be frustrated, and then change it.
Today there were several moments in which I saw clearly I was in a perfect position to live into my purpose, to live towards the goal which brings me the most joy and fulfillment, which almost can’t help but pull me across the gap to where I should be.
To all those who brought me a smile, warmed my soul, reminded me of purpose, and helped in so many ways to get out of my own way while simultaneously helping to guide me back to the right path – thank you. Today was a beautiful day, a +2 day, thanks to you!
Presence:
This morning I had a tight deadline for a client. It would be just enough time, but not so much I could take my time. As luck would have it Dominic happened to send a text “Some great hype up songs for your day!” His timing was impeccable. I closed my door, put in my noise canceling AirPods, and proceeded to “massage” my ear drums with wave after wave of excellent music. My field of vision narrowed to only the project and I truly crushed it. With only fifteen minutes to spare I took out the AirPods, inhaled deeply and let it roll in my chest, and turn exhaled slowly as I punched the Send button.
An hour or two of being in a total state flow, consumed by the task at hand without distraction. Glorious!
Thankful for Forty 