The best version of ourselves allows us to best help others. The more we work to close the gap between who we are and who we are called to be the better suited we are to brighten the lives of others.
Appreciation:
This year I’ve got a daily reminder that I am what I feed myself mentally each day. The more I take in a diet of the right type of stimuli the more likely I am to live into my dreams and to see so many opportunities all around. This evening I finished watching Project Iceman, the story of the first person to complete and Ironman distance triathlon on Antarctica. Earlier in the week I wrapped up The Lost City of Z, a book focused on an explorer of the Amazon in the early 1900’s. Last night I started reading Thoughts of a Philosophical Fighter Pilot, the writings of Admiral James Stockdale. All poignant reminders of the importance of dreaming big and living towards those dreams.
Presence:
Enjoying a chapter of a book in more detail than I’ve read it before, taking time to savor and enjoy each sentence, seeing it more clearly with the benefit of more life experience… amazing!
This Is How Smart People Get Smart (And Fools Get More Foolish)
In the fall of 1961, Commander James Stockdale began a course at Stanford he had eagerly anticipated on Marxist theory. “We read no criticisms of Marxism,” he recounted later, “only primary sources. All year we read the works of Marx and Lenin.”
It might seem unusual that the Navy would send a 36-year-old fighter pilot to get a master’s degree in the humanities, but Stockdale knew why he was there. Writing home to his parents that year, he reminded them of a lesson they had instilled in him, “You really can’t do well competing against something you don’t understand as well as something you can.”
At the time, Marxism was not just an abstract academic subject, but the ideological foundation of America’s greatest geopolitical enemy. The stakes were high—the Soviets pushed a vision of global communism and the conflict in Vietnam was already flashing hot, the North Vietnamese fueled by a ruthless mix of dogma and revolutionary zeal. ‘Marxism’ was, like today, also a culture-war boogeyman used by politicians and demagogues.
Just a few short years after completing his studies—September 1965—Stockdale was shot down over Thanh Hóa in North Vietnam, and as he parachuted into what he knew would be imprisonment and possibly death, his mind turned to the philosophy of Epictetus, which he had been introduced to by a professor at Stanford.
The North Vietnamese had many prisons and prison camps, but the Hỏa Lò Prison was famously the worst. Hỏa Lò means “fiery furnace” or “Hell’s hole,” which is what it was—a dark dungeon where captives were physically and mentally tortured to the unimaginable extreme. Stockdale would spend the next seven years in Hỏa Lò—or the “Hanoi Hilton,” as his fellow inmates would come to call it—in various states of solitary confinement and brutal torture.
His captors—sensing perhaps that he held terrible secrets, including having flown in the Tonkin Gulf the night of the so-called “incident”—sought desperately to break him. Stockdale famously drew on the Stoicism of Epictetus, but he also leveraged his knowledge of the practices and the mindset of his oppressors.
“In Hanoi, I understood more about Marxist theory than my interrogator did,” Stockdale explained. “I was able to say to that interrogator, ‘That’s not what Lenin said; you’re a deviationist.’”
This was a story I intended to tell the midshipmen at the U.S Navy Academy a couple of weeks ago, where Stockdale, as a graduate of the class of 1947 and Medal of Honor winner, is revered. For the last four years, I’ve been delivering a series of lectures on the cardinal virtues of Stoicism and was scheduled to continue on April 14th with a talk to the entire sophomore class on the theme of wisdom.
But roughly an hour before my talk was to begin, in my hotel room getting ready, I received a call—Would I be willing to refrain from any mention in my remarks of the recent removal of 381 supposedly controversial books from the Nimitz library on campus? My slides had been sent up the chain of command at the school, who was now, as they explained, extremely worried about reprisals from the Secretary of Defense or appearing to openly flout Executive Order 14151 (an anti-DEI order.)
When I declined, my invitation—as well as a planned speech before the Navy Football team, with whom my books on Stoicism are popular—was revoked.
In his writings and speeches after his return from the Hanoi Hilton, Stockdale often referred to what he called “extortion environments” to describe his experience in prison. He and his fellow POWs were pressured to comply with demands—answering simple questions, performing seemingly innocuous tasks, appearing in propaganda videos, confessing to war crimes—under the threat that if they declined, there would be consequences.
No one at the Naval Academy intimated any consequences for me, of course, but it was extortionary all the same—I had to choose between my message (to say nothing of my rights as a private citizen) or my continued access and welcome at an institution that has been one of the honors of my life to be associated with.
But setting all of that aside, even if I had no previous connection to this issue, I had been invited to the Naval Academy to deliver an address on the virtue of wisdom. How could I not mention what had gone on just a few hundred yards away?
As I explained repeatedly to my hosts, I had no interest in embarrassing anyone or discussing politics directly (although they had had no issue with the talk I gave at this very lecture series entirely about Jimmy Carter, another Academy graduate, one year earlier). Nor did I want to cause trouble or put someone’s job at risk. I did, however, feel it was essential to make the point that the pursuit of wisdom is impossible without engaging with (and challenging) uncomfortable ideas.
Seneca, another Stoic philosopher, used a military metaphor to make this very argument. We ought to read critically and dangerously, he said, “like a spy in the enemy’s camp.” This is what Stockdale was doing when he studied Marxism on the Navy’s dime. It is what Seneca was doing when he read and liberally quoted from Epicurus, the head of a rival philosophical school.
The current administration is by no means unique in its desire to suppress ideas it doesn’t like or thinks dangerous. As I intended to explain to the midshipmen, there was considerable political pressure in the 1950s over what books were carried in the libraries of federal installations. When asked if he would ban communist books from American embassies, however, Eisenhower resisted.
“Generally speaking,” he told a reporter from the New York Herald Tribune at a press conference shortly after his inauguration, “my idea is that censorship and hiding solves nothing…” He explained that he wished more Americans had read Hitler and Stalin in the years previous because it might have helped anticipate the oncoming threats. “Now, gentlemen,” he concluded, “…let’s educate ourselves if we are going to run a free government.”
The men and women at the Naval Academy will go on to lead combat missions, to command aircraft carriers, to pilot nuclear-armed submarines, and run enormous organizations. We will soon entrust them with incredible responsibilities and power. But we fear they’ll be hoodwinked or brainwashed by certain books?
It is good that Mein Kampf was not one of the books removed from the Naval Academy library…but this makes the fact that Maya Angelou was, all the more inexplicable. Whatever one thinks of DEI, we are not talking about the writings of external enemies here, but in many cases, art, serious scholarship and legitimate criticism of America’s past. One of the books is about black soldiers in WWII, another is about the memorialization of the Holocaust. Another was written by a person I had interviewed on the Daily Stoic podcast, and had been interviewed by a week earlier! No one at any public institution should have to fear losing their job for pushing back on such an obvious over-reach, let alone veterans who have served this country in combat, yet here we are.
Indeed, the decision not to protest the original order—which I believe flies in the face of basic academic freedoms and independence—is what put the current leadership in the academy in the now even stickier position of trying to suppress criticism of that decision. “Compromises pile up when you’re in a pressure situation in the hands of a skilled extortionist,” Stockdale reminds us. “You can be had if you make that first compromise, offer to make that ‘deal,’ or ‘meet them halfway.’”
Of course, I write about many of these topics—holding the line, developing competence, having integrity, not compromising—in Right Thing, Right Now. I have not always managed to do this in my own life and career (as I confess to my regret and shame in the Afterword to Courage is Calling). These decisions are not easy nor are they always clear. I very much sympathize with the leadership (in uniform and otherwise) who have been put in this impossible situation. I also know firsthand, it is very difficult to go along with policies that compromise your values without becoming compromised.
As I say in the preface to each book in the series, the virtues are interrelated and inseparable. Yet, there’s a reason that wisdom is considered the mother of the virtues. It is wisdom that helps us find what Aristotle called the “golden mean” between two vices. It is wisdom that tells us when to apply courage, the midpoint between cowardice and recklessness. It is wisdom that teaches us how to stand firm and persist when we know we are doing right. And it is wisdom that finds the line between good and evil, right and wrong, fair and unfair, ethical and unethical.
I felt I could not, in good conscience, lecture these future leaders and warriors on the virtues of courage and doing the right thing—as I did in 2023 and 2024—and then fold when asked not to mention such an egregious and fundamentally anti-wisdom course of action. I could not give a talk on the subject of wisdom and not address a very timeless and unfortunately, very prevalent tendency to get rid of books that we disagree with or think controversial. What good is it to speak about leadership and character in the abstract and avoid the very real challenges in front of us? As our constitutional order and our very laws are being placed under incredible strain—to say nothing of our basic morals and decency.
In many moments, many understandable moments, Commander Stockdale had an opportunity to do the expedient thing as a POW. He could have compromised. He could have obeyed. It would have saved him considerable pain, preventing the injuries that deprived him of full use of his leg for the rest of his life, perhaps even returning him home sooner to his family. He chose not to do that. He rejected the extortionary choice and stood on principle.
For me, with slightly less on the line, to do the expedient thing, it would have been a betrayal not just of Stoicism, the philosophy I have tried to apply in my life, but also a betrayal of Stockdale in whose name I was giving the lecture and whose story I was telling in the talk that I was going to give.
After finishing the draft and turning the slides I had prepared over in my mind, I thought, they can prevent me from going on stage but they can’t prevent me from delivering the talk. So in my studio in Texas where we record The Daily Stoic Podcast, I gave the talk that I was going to give at the Naval Academy. It was obviously a slightly different environment—no stage, no slides on a projection screen behind me, no live audience—but it is more or less the talk that I would have given to those midshipmen.
“The greatest educational fallacy,” Stockdale would write, “is that you can get it without stress.” The road to wisdom, to living the philosophical life, living by those four virtues, leads through a long path of stress and toil and struggle.
It takes work, as I put in the title of the new book.
It is the work of our life.
Stockdale’s example—forged by his liberal education at two of America’s best institutes of higher learning—stands there for all of us to follow in matters big and small.My new book is officially available for preorder.
For the last six years, I’ve been working on The Stoic Virtues Series. And now, the fourth and final book—Wisdom Takes Work—is complete.
I wrote this book because wisdom—true wisdom—is the commitment of a lifetime. It is a battle to be won over ego, over ignorance, over the self. It takes study, it takes reflection, it takes experience. Most of all, it takes work. I hope you’ll do that work with me. The book comes out in the fall, but you can preorder it today.
To know what you like is the beginning of wisdom and of old age.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Appreciation:
Significant books pose a paradox. They stay the same, there is no change to their pages (other than marks of wear), yet they are always slightly different in each rereading. Same words and sentences, but shifted meaning.
While the book itself remains unchanged the reader is never the same as the reader of days past.
As I restart one of my most impactful book series for the fourth or fifth time I’m amazed at how much more vibrant the first book is, at how much more hard hitting it feels this time,
Thank you books for always staying beautifully the same while at the same time offering exactly what I need each individual time I need them.
Presence:
Dinner at Love Child to celebrate our anniversary – with Gavin – all relaxing around the table, enjoying delicious food and drink, and soaking in the company of each other. Priceless!
Remember to provide what is needed, to share helpful and clear feedback without softening. Share with others that which you wish others would share with you. The golden rule, but focused on feedback instead.
Appreciation:
Sometimes we need to be in center stage, other times we should be behind the curtain. Here’s to seeing that difference clearly today and acting accordingly.
Presence:
Sitting on the deck with Gavin last night as we watched the storm roll in… outstanding as always! Grateful for the number of times the boys and I have stopped what we were doing to get outside to feel the storms build and burst!
There’s a time and a place to stay with a plan, but there are also times when the plan needs to shift accordingly. This afternoon I realized the prescribed course of action needed to be adjusted and it was amongst the best decisions I made today.
Appreciation:
I kicked off the month of April with a nasty cold / flu bug. While laid up I put a lot of my extra focus into reading. My jaw dropped on Sunday when I realized I’ve read 11 books this month! It’s been an opportunity to reread some of my favorites while picking up some that are new to me.
One of my absolute favorites so far is by Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes. How I’d never heard about it is crazy! I can’t stop turning the pages of this one, it’s quite possibly one of the most intense and horrifying stories I’ve read in a long time!!!
Presence:
Running in the morning as the wind howls and the pressure of an impending storm presses down. Watching the storm clouds slowly build over the bluffs on my ride home. Keeping my focus on both my breathing AND the rapidly moving clouds out the window at yoga. Sitting at home in anticipation of feeling the storm front blow past.
This weekend was exactly what the doctor ordered for a variety of reasons. With all the busyness and chaos within our professional lives this was an epically chill weekend to celebrate our anniversary.
We got an early start to our Saturday, watched Gavin’s track meet, and then headed out to one of our favorite state parks. We almost immediately hit the trail and enjoyed the bliss which can only be found in the woods. A chill evening around the campfire full of relaxation.
This morning we took our time getting up and moving, drank coffee and read as we waited on the weather. Then we were off for another relaxing hike and enjoyed the combination of so many different birds and splendid weather that just kept getting better and better.
Throughout the rest of the day we got things done around the house, had a meal as a family, played a handful of games, and then closed up the night by going through our wedding book and then both baby books. So many awesome memories!
All in all, it was the best anniversary weekend I could have imagined, together and outside.
Twenty three years of marriage, twenty three years of adventures together, so many more to go!
Wrap up the week, wrap up the necessary prep for Monday and Tuesday, and go home a little late after a long day. That extra time leads to a significantly more relaxed weekend. Well worth the extra effort in order to chill a little harder until the next work week kicks in.
Appreciation:
Coming home from work, dinner with the family, playing games with Gavin as we wrap up the day. What a blessing to go from starting the day outside with Becky to close up the night chilling as a family. Beyond grateful for the time we all get together!
Presence:
A run in the rain, unencumbered by the weight of stress, only Becky and I (& Leia) running in the raindrops before sunrise. A perfect way to start the day – together, relaxed, active, and outside.
It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to admit that we can’t do everything all the time. It is okay to accept that we are human. It is okay to make mistakes.
It is all a part of the human experience.
Fortunately, we get to decide how we respond. We get to choose our attitude. We get to leverage challenges into growth. We get to continue.
Appreciation:
Once a path is determined everything becomes so much more clear. What actions to take, where to go next. Certainly there is some stress, but knowing that there is an end game and plan makes it all so much easier to breathe.
Begin with the end in mind, but so easy to lose clarity along the way. Take the time to see the destination clearly, re-chart the path, and everything seems a bit lighter!
Here’s to getting back to the path, bushwhacking through the bullshit, and getting back to where I should be going.
Presence:
Walking in the woods during a rainy sunrise with the dog, taking in the sounds of birds all around. Being in the moment, having quiet time to think and allow my brain to wander wherever it needs to go. A wonderful start to the day!
“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.”
– Bertrand Russell
How do we help change this or help the fools and fanatics walk the path of wisdom? Ask questions… listen… love others, especially those we disagree with.
Appreciation:
We always have a choice to make – sit by idly waiting for someone else to take action or be the change we wish to see in the world. Today I chose action, followed it with more action, and then shared a simple path forward to help others move forward as well.
When things we are most passionate about are impacted negatively do not sit still, move forward and take peaceful action.
Thankful for Forty 