Category: Life Lessons

Thankful for a Perfect Weekend Day

Day 3,632 (Crazy to think that it will be a DECADE of daily blogging in only 22 days!)

There is so much to unpack from today, but it is all pretty simple in the overall concept… This was pretty much the perfect weekend day. So much happening, so many moments of presence, reminders of appreciation throughout, lots of personal connection, and so many nuggets of learning mixed in.

Maybe the best way to run this one out is to go with a list kind of day. Additionally, this format provides me an opportunity to walk back through the day in a little more full detail and enjoy it all a second time 😉

  • The morning started off with a mug full of some amazing coffee. Scratch that, it started off with the aroma of freshly ground, freshly brewed coffee while I laid in bed as Becky had gotten up before me and worked her magic.
  • Breakfast was a couple of slices of cold pizza leftover from last night – glorious!
  • To kick off the morning Becky found a hysterical video which caused me to laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes. Short and sweet, but nice starting the day with a good belly laugh like that!
  • Becky and I packed up for hiking and a trip to Eau Claire to watch Dominic’s rugby scrimmage. As we got rolling she recommended we fire up a podcast she had recently listened to. The Ologies podcast has been one of her recent go to’s and this episode was focused specifically on the science of happiness. Here were some of the key takeaways and moments of a-ha’s!
    • The concept of “Time Affluence,” the sense of having enough time, is a critical component of happiness. This really hit home with how I feel amazing on days like today (very limited structure) and I feel almost claustrophobic on days when I am planning out my next few weeks.
    • Choosing to view ourselves Objectively rather than Relatively. Consider the studies of happiness levels of someone who won the silver medal versus the bronze medal. The bronze medalist is almost always smiling much bigger than the silver medalist who often looks sad and disappointed. Consider that we are really good at something or that we really enjoyed something, don’t compare it to what others do or what they have. Look internally for happiness.
    • Are we happy both “in our life” and “with our life”? Are we happy in the moment of what we are doing in life? Are we happy with where our life is going towards a purpose? Both are important and and not always related (and sometimes can almost be at odds with each other).
    • Awareness, awareness, awareness! Step outside of ourselves and observe how we are reacting to something, consider why we are reacting that way. Don’t observe with the intent of changing or correcting, rather, observe to understand more fully. We can’t fix what we are not aware of.
    • I’d 100% recommend this podcast to anyone looking to add a little extra joy to their lives (that should be all of us, right?). Check out the episode we listened to here: https://www.alieward.com/ologies/eudemonologyencore
  • The conversations Becky and I got into while listening to the podcast and after the podcast were engaging and insightful. So appreciative to be in love with a fellow lifelong learner!
  • Our hike in Perot was soooooo chill! The weather was perfect, the trails were quiet, so much to observe and take in all around us. Everything was so green it was awesome! The feel of hiking on a fall day is something I will never tire of. Hiking with Becky and joking, talking, and walking in silence, all exactly what I needed.
  • While on the hike I was reminded of an adventure Steve and I went on kayaking on the Black River a while back, it may have spurred on ideas to attempt it again.
  • Dominic’s rugby scrimmage was so much fun to watch! He was one of the starters and got quite a few opportunities to impact the game on both offense and defense. So much fun watching him do something he loves.
  • During the game I was able to make a quick sprint and caught a ball way out of bounds. I know, super cheesy, but it was so much fun to enjoy the fleeting moment of feeling like I was almost in the game, almost a kid again. Super minor, but such a blast regardless!
  • A handful of Dominic’s friends from high school came to the match to cheer him on. They hung out with Becky and I throughout the game and we shot the bull the entire time. so much fun seeing the kids we used to see often grow into the men they have become. I swear each age of our son’s and their friends has somehow continued to be better than the year before.
  • Our ride back was so chill, the dog was absolutely toast from all the hiking and excitement. We stopped by the apple orchard, grabbed some apples, ciders, and maybe a caramel apple pie or two. So nice being outside and having a little mini date with the two of us. Fresh apples off the tree… so deelish!
  • At the grocery store we saw a mom with two small kids which brought back fond memories for us as well as a little laugh as we saw reminders of the happiness podcast concepts in her expression.
  • Gavin was home from his volunteer work and was in an awesomely talkative mood. We shot the bull for a while and then the and I continued the conversation at Dick’s as we picked up a knee brace for him. We may have also had some bonus fun dreaming up a home gym and pricing it out while we were there. Great one on one time with him, nice to have such fun conversation with him.
  • I got a little bonus time to make a quick fix on the grill as it warmed up. Nothing crazy or difficult, but just enough to feel like I got to problem solve, work with my hands, and be productive. A nice little chill moment.
  • There were a couple of awesome brother moments that don’t need detail. Long story short, I was reminded of one of the many reasons I love my brother and how grateful I am for the relationship my sons have with each other.
  • Grilling brats, drinking a hard cider, joking with the family. Throw in eating out of my grandma’s old stainless steel bowls from the 1950’s and it was a wonderful dinner outside on the deck!
  • Game night was fun (even though Gavin destroyed Becky and I in both Catan and Skipbo), another evening spent around the kitchen table, one of my favorite places in the world. The addition of caramel apple pie with vanilla caramel ice cream was a banger!
  • As we wrapped up the night Gavin and I fired up a movie. Sitting on the couch and taking it in we were both making comments on what we appreciated about it. I also look forward to knowing we’ll bring it up in conversation on again off again for the better part of a week or two, reminding us of that time together. Nice and chill to wrap things up.
  • Typing this blog has only increased the size of my smile today! Crazy to see all that happened appear as words on my screen. Each memory has brought back a smile and jogged my memory on other things I was grateful for. This daily thought practice has been proven over and over again over the past ten years to help me sleep with a focus on good stuff in life so much more than the frustrating.

Whew!!! What a day!!! Seriously, so many moments of joy throughout the day. I grew. I appreciated. I was present. Throw all of those together with the connections with those I love and it was pretty epic. To all who played a part in my today, thank you!!!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for The White Darkness by David Grann

Day 3,535

Based on some recent favorites, I picked up a recommendation to read The White Darkness by David Grann—a gripping true story of one man’s modern-day expedition into the most unforgiving place on earth.

The book follows Henry Worsley, a British explorer and descendant in spirit of the great Antarctic pioneers. In 2015, Worsley set out to achieve something never before accomplished: a solo, completely unsupported and unassisted crossing of Antarctica. His route retraced the one Sir Ernest Shackleton had hoped to complete in 1914 before his ship, Endurance, was trapped in the ice.

No spoilers here—the suspense of not knowing how Worsley’s journey unfolded made the read all the more powerful.

A few quotes stuck with me:

Passion for something can easily tip into obsession, which is a dangerous thing, especially when those affected are the very people who so loyally stand and wait.

Henry Worsley

Men go out into the void spaces of the world for various reasons. Some are actuated simply by a love of adventure, some have the keen thirst for scientific knowledge, and others again are drawn away from the trodden paths by the ‘lure of little voices,’ the mysterious fascination of the unknown.

David Grann

This book is a short but profound reflection on ambition, endurance, legacy, and the blurry line between courage and compulsion.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Lesson in Preparation AND Improvisation, Peering Through the Cracks, & Connection

Day 3,444

Growth:

Father Sam’s sermon this morning was engaging and impactful. He started down a path he’d predetermined and seemed to drift off as he was putting additional thoughts together from his experiences. What’s interesting and stuck out to me was that the prepared portion hit him to a point in which he was able to improvise as he processed further – and that was where the truly good stuff was!

The key learning moment for me was this, preparation is necessary to position us to utilize our ongoing love of learning to flex into a place in which our untethered mind is free to explore.

Appreciation:

“It is only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

Chuck Palahniuk

There’s a point in which it becomes so easy to let go, to step back and see the world with clarity.

While Chuck’s quote above is on the extreme, we are presented moments in life in which we see the fissures in the “permanence” of what we’ve held as “truths.” In those cracks it is so easy to quickly pass them by, ignoring them in hopes we never look back nor remember them. They would show us what we’d rather forget and never know.

When we look into that crack, press our faces right up against the cool concrete wall to observe what’s on the other side, what really could be reality, we become instantly aware, we are changed.

Once we see what could be true we can start to let our mind grasp that potential truth, to play with it, to look at it from so many different angles, to accept it. In that moment we are able to live that quite AND without having truly lost everything. Quite the contrary, we are actually gaining something, a second potential reality, one in which we are not encumbered by reality. We can dream more freely than if we had never accepted a reality outside of our preconceived truth.

Seeing beyond the veil, peering through the crack. What a gift we are presented!

Presence:

The little moments of human connection in real life, face to face. In those moments, if we choose to be present, we have an opportunity to brighten the life of a fellow traveler, and for them to for the same for us. Several of those moments today, several smiles of connection.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Investing Time, “Sweatshirt” Books, & a Sense of Awe

Day 3,441

Growth:

Make the time to train others on the most important things, don’t always rush to do those tasks for them in an ill-fated effort to save time. Take the time, MAKE the time to teach and train. The return on investment will blow your mind over and over again BUT only when invested in the RIGHT people.

Appreciation:

I love curling up in my favorite sweatshirts on a cool evening. They warm and comfort me, their simple presence kindles the flame of my soul on such a basic level.

Certain books are “sweatshirt” books for me as well. In a similar fashion they help when I’m running cool, and warm my soul as I open their covers and smell the old pages. The subtle printing errors and smudges bringing a sense of home and of calm, a reminder that even the best of things are not perfect, though they are closer to perfect thanks to their imperfection.

Here’s to the “Sweatshirt” book I’ve busted out on a cold season of life, its heat is already warming my soul.

Presence:

My drive home was the site of my meltdown. It was a very busy day, for the large part very positive, but such a flurry of nonstop activity that my brain was completely overwhelmed by the end of the day. My neck is still stiff from the stress of busyness throughout the day. Again – almost everything was a positive! Successes of teammates abounded, signs of business growth, progress on so many different levels, yet my mind felt run into the ground as my legs after crossing the finish line of the marathon.

As I stared blankly out the windshield there was a bright flash out of the corner of my left eye, the setting sun casting a golden glow upon the exposed sandstone of the bluffs across the river channel. Then an eagle, no, two eagles, sitting in a tree watching for prey! I was flooded with awe, with wonder, with the natural beauty surrounding me.

I was thankful.

I was calmed.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Awareness and Action, a +2 Day Thanks to So Many, & Lost in Flow

Day 3,425

Growth:

All great transformations in life start with a very simple step, the awareness of a gap between who we are and who we could be.

If we don’t have awareness we don’t realize how badly we could use the change. We are don’t know that there’s a gap, a place to grow into. This can be such a frustrating moment, unhappy and not seeing a better path forward. We can even begin to feel helpless, constantly fighting against the tide.

Once we have the moment of awareness we can move forward, but can also feel so daunting or impossible. The gap may be significantly larger than we’d thought, possibly on the border of impossible. In its own way, this can be almost more demoralizing than not having awareness as it seems profoundly difficult to grasp.

Once we have the moment of awareness, once we can see across the chasm of where we are versus where we are we should be, we need to put our heads down and focus only on the single footstep ahead. See that spot twelve inches in front of us, will our foot to lift, our leg to move forward, and the foot comes down. One small step, but the greatest step after awareness – the first step! Celebrate it!!! We’ve made our trip across the gap a little shorter AND now we know we have the strength to take a step.

Now take another step, then another. Slow but steady progress, gaining momentum. You’ve got this. After s dozen or so steps look up to make sure you’re still headed the right way, and then head back down and focus on the twelve inches in front of you. In seemingly no time you will make significant progress.

All that progress, all started with a moment of awareness, all started with one tiny and small step.

Over the past 3,424 days I’ve taken tiny steps daily, pausing to reflect on what I appreciate. Each day is one tiny step forward, motion towards closing the gap.

Today I had a conversation with a friend that reminded me to pause and appreciate the momentum I’ve built over the past nine plus years. As I reflect on the journey my mind is blown. This all started with the awareness that I was not happy, in so many ways I felt empty, like a fraud, unsatisfied, always in pursuit of more. I was not in a good place mentally and emotionally. Awareness came first, the awareness of unhappiness and a gigantic gap on the other side of which was full of joy. I wanted to cross. It seemed impossible, but I took one step. And the another. And then more which led to today. The gap is still there, but I’ve made progress.

Awareness, action. One small step at a time leads to profound growth over years.

Appreciation:

Sometimes I get so frustrated I just want to quit. When I get in those funks they can be difficult to get out of. What I’ve found interesting recently is that every time I have felt this way recently I find that the reason for the frustration is something well under my control, something I have the ability to change. I just have pause, breathe, zoom out, look at the situation from afar, have awareness, give myself grace to be frustrated, and then change it.

Today there were several moments in which I saw clearly I was in a perfect position to live into my purpose, to live towards the goal which brings me the most joy and fulfillment, which almost can’t help but pull me across the gap to where I should be.

To all those who brought me a smile, warmed my soul, reminded me of purpose, and helped in so many ways to get out of my own way while simultaneously helping to guide me back to the right path – thank you. Today was a beautiful day, a +2 day, thanks to you!

Presence:

This morning I had a tight deadline for a client. It would be just enough time, but not so much I could take my time. As luck would have it Dominic happened to send a text “Some great hype up songs for your day!” His timing was impeccable. I closed my door, put in my noise canceling AirPods, and proceeded to “massage” my ear drums with wave after wave of excellent music. My field of vision narrowed to only the project and I truly crushed it. With only fifteen minutes to spare I took out the AirPods, inhaled deeply and let it roll in my chest, and turn exhaled slowly as I punched the Send button.

An hour or two of being in a total state flow, consumed by the task at hand without distraction. Glorious!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Pacing, Busyness Leading to Gowth, & Frigid Air and Shooting Stars

Day 3,391

Growth:

My mind keeps getting drawn back to the concept of pace. I’ve got about another two weeks of a dead sprint ahead of me before I reach my first aid station on this run. All good, I’ve turned the corner and can see the finish line clearly in front of me, I just have to dig deep and I’ll cross it soon.

What I’m starting to notice is a balance of exhilaration thanks to seeing the finish which is making me want to sprint faster AND the stress and fatigue of the running I’ve already done starting to compound. In marathons the first mile and the last mile are the same distance but they feel so incredibly different due to the pounding the body has taken. I want to sprint faster to the finish, but I feel the compounding drag from my body. What’s the right pace?

Too fast and I’ll die before the finish line. Too slow and I’ll miss the opportunity to finish appropriately. It’s all about finding the right pace, not too fast, not too slow, sustainable progress.

Appreciation:

There’s a beauty in being so busy that there is not enough time to even consider a distraction or to pause and wonder where to go next. A steady stream of actions to be taken, never ending, coming one after another after another in a freight train of tasks.

While this is not sustainable for a long term pace it is interesting to see how my mindset shifts and old habits are more easily broken. I caught myself looking at a task I normally take time to complete today. Rather than getting it done as usual to enjoy the sense of completion I completely threw it aside while realizing that it really didn’t matter with the other things on my plate. It wasn’t until I discarded the task that I realized just how much this busyness has helped me see the clarity of what is truly important. What a gift this is!!! I never would have seen this quite this way had I not pushed myself right up to the edge like this.

All our growth comes through pushing hard through difficulty and obstacles. I would not have chose the suffering, but I am so grateful for the growth!

Presence:

Our run this morning was quite chilly, but so refreshing! I love breathing in the frigid air while running, something about it feels so invigorating…. Or maybe that’s just my brain freezing 😉

Regardless, running in the cold with Becky, seeing the behemoth of Orion looking on the horizon, and then seeing a shooting star rip right through the constellation Cancer was a running moment I’ll hold dear for quite some time! A moment like that to get my head straight and going the right way, what a way to get my day moving!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for the Choice We Always Have to Make

Day 3,372

We always have a choice to make.

We cannot choose the challenges we will face. We cannot choose which surprises we want and don’t want. We cannot choose how others react. These are all out of our control.

Yet, we always have a choice to make.

We can choose how we will respond. We can choose where we put our focus. We can choose our attitude, our mindset, and our reaction. We can choose to live into our values, to live towards our purpose. We can choose positivity. We can choose growth. We can choose appreciation. We can choose to be present – especially when it is difficult. We can choose to face the brutal facts and we can choose how to work through them. We always have the ability to choose these.

We always have a choice to make.

Today I had the opportunity to work through a handful of almost consecutive challenges which I would not have chosen. But I chose to focus on what was important. I chose positivity. I chose growth. I chose to live my values and grow closer to my purpose.

We always have a choice to make. Choose wisely.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Consider Before Committing, Stillness Creating Space, & a Moment on Film

Day 3,360

Growth:

Think through the entire project before committing too much time to any specific solution. Today’s projects included getting our WiFi router moved to a better location and I wasted more time than I care to admit on something which was quickly negated by the electrical outlet being on a switch rather than always being on. Lesson learned, think through and test it all first, then commit resources to it.

Appreciation:

Two different yet similar moments today which blended.

First was a walk Becky and I took in the woods this morning, a peaceful moment of completely stillness enjoying being outside. This moment was captured so well in this pic, there was almost no movement in the water, just a mirror reflecting nature and the heavens.

Second was an instrumental piece at church which was so hauntingly beautiful it almost brought me to tears. Closing my eyes I could feel the entire Universe wrap around me with love like a warm blanket on a cold day. It was so powerful and soul warming.

Two very different moments of stillness, two moments in which I could feel so close to God. In those moments of quiet stillness our heart is free to hear everything so much more clearly.

Presence:

Gotta love the unexpected moments caught on video. Today we were cutting down our Christmas tree and I wanted a quick selfie of Becky and I. We just happened to catch this gem!

After sawing most of the way through the tree Gavin decided to put his football skills to work 😂

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Surplus of Dreams and a Deficit of Time, Productivity Lessons, & a Brutal Lifting Workout

Day 3,187

Growth:

Life is so much easier when I pause and remember that I do not have the time or capacity needed to tackle all of the crazy ideas and dreams and projects I would like to take on. I will forever have a surplus of goals and plans and a deficit of the time I wish I had to accomplish everything, and that is okay. This makes it all the more important for me to focus on intentionally spending my precious time on those dreams which are of the utmost importance rather than on matters which are not of consequence.

When I am feeling overwhelmed and as if I don’t have enough time I need to remember to pause, review what is truly most important, focus on that in that moment, and be grateful for the opportunity to have that moment of life to use.

Appreciation:

When I wrapped up my day yesterday I had a very clear list of what needed to get done today. I didn’t get it all done, but I didn’t waste any time or energy. My focus was exactly where it needed to be. There were several moments in which my brain started to wander to other things and just as I was about go in a wrong direction I had awareness and went right back to focus mode. The results was an awesomely productive day that I am very pleased with.

As I analyze why it was successful I pinpointed a few notes to save for Future Mike:

  • Review what is truly important, slice it into what is most important today, and then focus there
  • Have a very clear list of what needs to get done and in order of how it needs to happen
  • Maintain awareness of where my mind should be focused and catch myself when it wanders
  • Give myself grace to take a pause or a break – not unintentionally and time wasting, rather, focused on re-charging my brain
  • Close the door and turn on the right music when needed
  • The overwhelming majority of phone calls, emails, and messages can wait until a future time
  • If the day flew by I am doing it right

Over 25 years of working in the professional world and I’m still reminded of how much there is to learn and how much more discipline there is to build.

Presence:

Lifting today was pretty brutal. I wasn’t even close to lifting the weights I should be lifting. It was all aboard the struggle bus time. By the last reps of the last set of each exercise my muscles were shaking. I didn’t even get to the number of reps I was shooting for in each set. t hurt. It was mentally taxing. My ego got the shit kicked out of it. In so many ways I could look at today’s lifting as a complete failure and disappointment…

…but I experienced and view it as an overwhelming SUCCESS.

This was my first time lifting in about four weeks due to travel and crazy pre-travel schedule. I was going in completely rusty and rather than not showing up or quitting early I chose to finish the workout. I struggled but I pushed. I gave myself the grace to drop the weight in-between sets so I could keep the right form. I didn’t stop until my muscles did. I took the step of re-starting, I took action.

The next round will be similar, but each subsequent session will feel better and better. Today I took the first step. It hurt, but I felt great.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Reminder to Bring Others In, a Belated Father’s Day Gift, & Beyond the Pines

Thankful for a Reminder to Bring Others In, a Belated Father’s Day Gift, & Beyond the Pines

Day 3,183

Growth:

This afternoon I had an awesomely in depth conversation with my friend, Brian, on the topics of leadership and life. Initially he had reached out with a question, but I quickly found he was helping me find answers to questions and feelings I’ve had over the past year. What was especially insightful to me was his willingness to open up and share so much, he just shared where he was at. His openness was truly inspiring. As I reflect on the conversation I can’t help but realize he summed up my awe in a follow up text.

Life feels different when you bring others in!

Brian B

How often do I carry the burden myself rather than sharing it? When am I too nervous about how others may view me to share how I am really doing and thinking? Why do I sometimes struggle to ask for help when I am in need of it? One would think I would know better by age 47, heck, I even wrote about this very topic in my book about losing Dad!

Today I’m very grateful for the reminder to open up, to share my heart openly, and to bring others in. We all have so much in common and we can all help lighten each other’s loads. Thank you for a conversation I needed more than I imagined today Brian!

Appreciation:

Due to our vacation my sons held back on giving me a Father’s Day gift until this evening. There is no question it was well worth the wait! Not gonna lie, there may have been a little bit of awesome leaking out of my eyes as I took it in and read the quote they added.

It was a map of the world, complete with pins of all the places I’ve been – and color coded based on who was with on the trip. In the bottom left corner was one of my all time favorite quotes by Jim Valvano, one I used in my blog the Father’s Day less than a week after Dad passed away.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

Jim Valvano

Throw in some very heartfelt and handcrafted Father’s Day cards from the boys and I was definitely feeling the love. Between the boys and Becky it was quite the way to lead into the weekend!

In addition to the initial fun of the gift we all got an epic bonus present… time to dream as a family as we looked at all the spaces without pins and started dreaming up some additional crazy ideas and plans for the future. Just a hunch, but I’d bet on a trip to a little place called Mount Kilimanjaro at some point in the not too distant future 😉

Thank you Becky and the boys for making me extra loved for a belated Father’s Day, I’m beyond blessed to ahve you each in my life!!!

Presence:

There’s a moment, maybe better put as a series of moments, from our time in Sequoia National Park which has been with me often in the past week. As we walked the trail amongst the massive sequoias I wandered in awe of the enormity of the titans towering over me. My mind and soul struggled to comprehend all they had experienced in the two to three THOUSAND years of life on earth.

While walking among them one of my favorite songs came to mind and played on repeat. Beyond the Pines by Thrice is a song I’ve blogged about a little over a year ago (you can check out the post here or the lyric video of the song here).

The lyrics which have resonated the most are these:

Somewhere down the road is a place that we can go where everyone
And everything is divine
And when we’re all awake, we can finally make and end of these
Divisions in our minds

Far beyond those walls, gleaming black and white
Further than our false schemes of wrong and right
Is a field where we can walk
Leaving all our names behind

I will meet you there, beyond the pines

Thrice, Beyond the Pines

The feeling of hiking in the giant sequoias felt like I was walking in heaven, in paradise. There was zero stress or need or frustration, only awe and peace and gratitude and joy and love. How much more joyful and full of love would our world be if we all took time to go “beyond the pines” once in a while? To pause, breathe in the fresh pine scented air, feel the cool breeze on our face, and look in awe at the wondrous gifts the world has been given?

This is the specific tree I would like to have some of my ashes scattered at when my time is complete, it is marked in my Garmin Earthmate GPS as “Perfect Seq-MK ash” It was the most perfect and beautiful sequoia I saw on our trip to Sequoia National Park, and it was just far enough off the busiest paths to have the eternal quiet I would liek to enjoy.

Thanks!!!