Author: Michael Kreiling

Thankful for Reminders of the Impermanence of Life, Making Progress, & Peace in 5 Minutes

Day 3,020

Growth:

You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Completely out of the blue today I was informed of the very unexpected death of a past client, teammate, and friend. At 54 years old he was seemingly one of the most healthy individuals I know, incredibly big hearted, quick to smile and radiate positivity, and so full of life he seemed to be pulled right out of a movie. He was so incredibly vibrant in every way. Three days ago he passed away. Just like that, a light extinguished.

As my brain still grapples with the reality of his passing I keep thinking about many of the decisions I’ve made recently to live better. While my goal is to be hiking in the woods deep into my 90’s I am reminded that tomorrow is promised no one. Work towards the long term goal and dream, but enjoy the ride along the way and be thankful for each breath I am blessed to take.

While my heart weeps for my friend and his family I will sleep with a heart full of gratitude for the day I’ve been blessed to live today. 

Appreciation:

Today has been a deeply emotional day in a variety of ways. Starting the day with an excellent bike ride while watching a video of fastpacking the O Circuit in Torres del Paine in Chile. Thinking ahead to all the adventures and goals I’ve set for myself in 2024. Finding out someone passed away too young. Struggling with work stress and challenges. Taking five minutes of stillness to reset my mind and soul (more on that in a bit). Hitting an epic workout that pushed me well outside of my comfort zone but balanced out my mindset.

Highs and lows. Peaks and valleys. What’s interesting to me today is that I’m still feeling positive and optimistic today. It would be easy to let the valleys sink my heart and cause me to be more negative. It would be just as easy to gloss over the tough stuff and focus only on the positive. In either case I would not be experiencing life to its fullest. Life throws us wonderful stuff. Life throws us difficult stuff. By experiencing both we are better able to appreciate all of life.

Today has been an incredibly full day in many ways and I am grateful to have experienced it. I would love to change parts, but I can’t. What I can do is find ways to grow through each portion – delightful and stressful – and use that growth to close the gap between who I am and who I am called to be. 

My responses and actions have not been perfect, but I am okay with that. I’ve lived into a better me today than I would have if I were given the same day a year or two ago. I’m grateful for making progress.

Presence:

This afternoon my brain was awash in next steps, projects, tasks, and life.  I felt like I was circling a whirlpool and slowly sinking.  For whatever reason I set everything down and sat at the table in my office facing my bookshelf.  My eyes immediately saw the five minute hourglass on my shelf and I knew what t do next.

I shut off my phone.  I closed my laptop.  I closed my door.  I took my shoes off.  I grabbed the hourglass and set it in front of me.  I took a deep breath, flipped it, and gave myself the permission AND direction to do nothing but let my mind wander as I stared at the grains slowly draining from top to bottom.

Five minutes of completely undistracted and focused time letting my mind have the space it desperately needs to be.  Five minutes of quiet.  Five minutes of thought.  Five minutes of stillness.  Five minutes of healing.  Five minutes of clarity.  Five minutes of de-cluttering.  Five minutes of challenging myself.  Five minutes of self-condemnation.  Fie minutes of acceptance.  Five minutes of purpose.  Those five minutes were amongst the most full moments of my entire day.

In the stillness I found peace.  Direction.  My why.  Next steps.

Honestly, it felt like an eternity before the last grain dropped.  While incredibly uncomfortable, it felt profoundly soothing.  I walked away with clarity, purpose, and direction.  The stress and clutter was gone, only life lay ahead of me.

In five minutes I found peace.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for True Freedom, Growth Through Awareness, & Laughs and Joy

Day 3,019 – Glad I started writing earlier in the day! I’m exhausted and will be keeping it short tonight.

Growth:

Two related quotes which proved particularly useful today:

One cannot make a slave of a free person, for a free person is free even in prison.

Plato

Freedom lies not in external circumstances, freedom resides in the heart.

Anthony de Mello

Appreciation:

More of a second Growth section this evening, but very fitting as the pausing for awareness is something I am truly grateful for today.

So easy to react, more difficult to pause and reflect. Why was my initial response/reaction/emotion what it was? Where did I direct my frustration? How does my reaction change when I reflect it back to myself and remember that my response is due to MY choice rather than the external event itself?

In pausing to consider the quotes of the first section there was much growth. Rather than blame outside factors for my frustrations I realized it was I who was causing myself to get upset. When I dove deeper into why I was responding this way it quickly cleared up my thinking and helped me see the correct path forward.

Presence;

This evening Becky, Dominic, and I ate dinner and played games together. Throughout we talked and laughed. The time spent joking around was priceless!!! So much fun and joy in those moments of shared time together!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Solitude in Nature, Travel Tangents, & Getting Lost in a Story

Day 3,018

Growth:

2024 started off with finishing up my most recent reading of Awareness by Anthony de Mello. One of the passages that really hit home for me was this as he talks about finding peace and awareness through becoming okay with being alone…

It will help, too, if you return to nature. Send the crowds away, go up to the mountains, and silently commune with the trees and flowers and animals ad birds, with sea and clouds and sky and stars. …Get back to nature, go up in the mountains. Then you will know that your heart has brought you to the vast desert of solitude, there is no one at your side, absolutely no one. 

At first this will seem unbearable. But it is only because you are unaccustomed to aloneness. If you manage to stay there for a while, the desert will suddenly blossom into love. Your heart will burst into song. And it will be spring-time forever, the drug will be out, you’re free. Then you will understand what freedom is, what love is, what happiness is, what reality is, what truth is, what God is.”

Anthony de Mello, Awareness

From my backpacking experience last year I can start to understand what he means by this quote. Being alone in the woods, experiencing solitude, is magic for the soul.

Appreciation:

Vacations… ahh… one of my happy places and favorite activities! This evening I was working on a few details on planning one trip and then went down a bit of a rabbit hole cleaning out some old travel emails. That task somehow parlayed itself into digging into old vacation photos. While digging into the old photos I was reminded to pull some additional for a few different friends relating to trips and had the opportunity to re-live some of those past trips. 

Some of the reading in Awareness tonight was focused on being present while on trips, not living behind the camera and only seeing the trip through the lens. I am grateful for the advice I got somewhere along the road about taking just enough photos to spark and clarify the memories, but not so much to miss the moment. It is a difficult balance, being present in the moment while also capturing just enough to re-live it over and over again and to maximize the memory dividend.

LOL – there I go again, drifting off on another vacation and travel related tangent! That’s exactly what I am thankful for this evening!

Presence:

While there were a handful of moments of presence throughout the day I’m going to kind of cheat and go back to last night. Gavin recommended Timeline by Michael Crichton a little over a year ago and it has been sitting on my nightstand ever since. Last night as I prepped for sleep I decided it was time to bust it out and give it a read. The next thing I knew almost an hour had passed and I was deep into the story. 

What a gift it is to get lost in a wonderful book! When written well our minds can clearly picture all that is happening while also making connections to real life and piece together where the story may be going. Each page leads us further down the path, committing us more and more to the story. Today I’m grateful for those moments of presence while reading, I’m off to see if I can replicate it again!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Tracking Activity, Time Off Over the Holidays, & a Perfect Start to 2024

Day 3,017

Growth:

Taking the time to track certain activities can take a little extra time, but it is often well worth it. For clarity, not everything needs to be tracked and logged, only what is most important to our dreams and goals. Also, we have to create time to pause and review those notes to determine how to best adapt and adjust our future actions to live better into our dreams. 

As I pause and begin taking time to review 2023 I’m quickly seeing I should have carved out more time for this practice as it always seems to take longer than expected. This evening I started reviewing my reading list from 2023 and quickly caught myself drifting off to the major lessons learned throughout each book (both fiction and nonfiction). Taking time to go through the list of each book I read last year reminded me of so many things and I was surprised to see just how many pages I covered last year (61 books – down from 112 in 2022, but I felt much more balanced).

So much knowledge and wisdom can be drawn from reviewing the past year, but only if we track it. Here’s to doing more tracking and to living more closely into my dreams and goals in 2024!

Appreciation:

For the past handful of years (I think almost a decade or more) I’ve taken the week between Christmas and New Year off to spend time pausing from work. It initially started as a way to watch the boys as they didn’t have daycare & school available. Those days off created some pretty epic memories throughout the years. We’ve worked on projects, gone camping, played games, gone hiking, and have had so much bonus time together. I’m beyond appreciative for the time we’ve been able to share together! 

Not only has that time off provided opportunities with the boys, but it has also given Becky and I an opportunity to hang out a little more too. Sometimes an afternoon off, a walk over lunch, and some extra time to head out to see our families. 

This year I am also reminded of how grateful I am for the time I have to myself to pause and take a deep breath as I transition from one year to the next. Time to pause and reflect, plan, and reset. When I jump back into work I do so with a renewed fire and intensity as I’ve taken the time necessary to rest and prepare for the next push.

This time off is quickly coming to an end, I’ll be off to bed shortly after typing. As I reflect on it and think about all this time has provided my heart is full and I know I’ll be planning on this again next holiday season.

Presence:

This morning the combination of walking the dog, spending time in the woods, sharing time with family, AND drinking a hot cup of coffee on a chilly morning was magical! Our short-ish walk felt great, allowed time as a family to talk and relax, gave me a dose of fresh air, and was exactly long enough to let me start and finish my entire Yeti mug of coffee. Perfection to start the New Year!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for My New “Normal” Eating, Christmas with Family, & Individual Moments with Family

Day 3,016 – continuing the recent theme, another quick one!

Growth:

Nothing like switching from my old “normal” to my new “normal” eating to “holiday” eating to help me appreciate how much better I feel with my new “normal” eating!

Appreciation:

This past weekend’s Christmas celebration with my family was fantastic on many levels. So many wonderful memories made, so many perfectly ordinary moments shared, all greatly appreciated!

Presence:

Over the past week I’ve had the opportunity to share moments with each of my family members alone – including with Mom and my brother. So fortunate to have those moments of presence with each of my loved ones!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Awareness, Time with Family Over the Holidays, & Many Family Moments

Day 3,015 – Another condensed blog due to spending time with family. I was having so much fun I kept going until I was exhausted and am now crashing quick.

Growth:

Awareness – the book I’ve read more than any other this year has helped increase my joy in more ways than I can count. Today was no exception. Definitely a book worth reading often.

Appreciation:

Time with family to celebrate the holidays is deeply rewarding, an opportunity to reconnect on a larger scale as d enjoy our time together. Very grateful for the opportunity for all of us to be together!

Presence:

So many moments today! Coffee conversations. Top Golf as a family. Board games and card games. Meals together. Family traditions. Walking the dogs. Chilling together. Playing pool. So many moments of presence with family!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Full Days, Time with Family, & Conversations of Dreams

Day 3,014 – Speed run tonight, too busy enjoying each moment to pause to write before bed!

Growth:

Days like this, full of life from rail to rail may lead to shorter blogs, but also to a full soul.

Appreciation:

Time with family in all of its forms has been the cornerstone of the day. Celebrating Christmas with Mom, my brother, and family has started off very well. So much smiling and laughing!

Presence:

A couple of awesome moments today have a common factor, they involved conversation about dreams. Taking time to engage in dialogue about our bucket lists let to some very engaging moments!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Choosing Appreciation, Shared Appreciation for the Outdoors, & a Max Bench Attempt

Day 3,013

Growth:

One of the lessons I learned throughout the past 3,000+ days is that it is possible to be grateful for pretty much anything, including the totally mundane. Spending time cleaning the floors was pure medicine for the soul. It was a specific task, one with a clearly defined objective, something to be completed with the work of my hands. Whatever I task in front of me, I can choose to be grateful for it should I choose to view the task through the right lens. Gratitude is chosen, not a result of a joyful activity or moment, gratitude is the conscious choice to find joy in any situation. When I’m frustrated, bored, annoyed, or not fully engaged I always have a choice to make – be thankful for the task, no matter how mundane, and joy will follow.

Appreciation:

This morning Gavin and I took Leia out for a walk after our weightlifting practices. He was acting a little off and kind of bummed. After a short distance he apologized for not being in a talkative mood. I gave him some space and asked if he would prefer silence or me talking without expecting a response from him. He chose the former so I occasionally mentioned things I was noticing in the woods (the squirrel tracks, the eagle calls). Within ten minutes we were laughing, joking, and also enjoying moments of quiet stillness in the woods. As we were wrapping up the walk I heard him make a huge sigh of satisfaction. 

“Life is just better and easier out in the woods, isn’t it Bud,” I asked. He resoundingly agreed and shared his gratitude for taking additional time outside.

We spent the rest of the walk in peace, joking, talking, laughing, and enjoying the sights around us. Joyful, calm, at peace, appreciative.

Whether or not this specific moment will stick with Gavin for the rest of his life, it will with me. That sigh he made. The realization that the woods often has what we need to heal our souls, to ease our troubles, to help us remember to pause and appreciate the life we have. I am so grateful for that moment he experienced, and for the reminder it was to me. Dad and I shared several moments like this when we spent time together in the woods, I’m glad to have shared moments like this on to my sons as well. 

Presence:

While lifting today I decided to push myself a little further than normal. In between my normal sets I decided to see what I still have in the tank for my bench press. I loaded up the bar and hit it as hard as I could… and I surprised myself with my ability to put the weight right up! I’m sore now, but in the moment it felt amazing to push and strain to get the bar back up. Nothing else existed in the world outside of my effort and breath. One focused moment of exertion, amazing!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Knocking Out the Workout Early, Travel Prep, & an Epic Weekday Afternoon Hike

Day 3,012

Growth:

Get the workout in while the muscles are fresh! After our run this morning I headed into the gym to get my leg workout in. My legs were still feeling pretty good off the early morning run so I thought I’d hit it right away. No need for an additional warm up or stretch, I was ready to dive in right off the bat.

I think what’s possibly the more important lesson for myself was this – just get the work in right away as opposed to waiting until later. Later will always fill up with busy-ness, excuses, and reasons not to get the work in. Just knock it out first. Not only does this ensure that it will happen, but it also has such a positive impact on the rest of the activities throughout the day.

Appreciation:

One of my passions is travel. Hitting the road (or air, ocean, ice, or whatnot) to experience new environments and types of wildlife are some of the moments when I feel a profoundly deep sense of presence and awareness. Travel helps to make all of life seem to make a little more sense. As a travel magazine in a hotel in San Francisco once taught me:

Travel lets us see ourselves in a new way. With our minds free to dream, goals become clearer, moments grow richer, and we return home fuller than when we left.

– Unknown, from a Travel Magazine in a San Francisco Hotel

Over the past few days I’ve had the opportunity to line up the next small handful of adventures and I am so excited!!! Having travel on the calendar and the resulting anticipation is almost as exciting as the travel itself. Taking time to get everything lined up and in the books feels AMAZING!!!

Presence:

Getting out for a hike with Becky, Gavin, and Leia this afternoon was sublime! The weather was perfect, there were little spurts of sun through the clouds near us, and being on a weekday afternoon felt like we were getting away with something. ;)

That entire hike was an exercise in presence. We had engaging conversation, got a great sweat in, and enjoyed so many of the sights, smells, and sensations of the woods. At the end of the trail we paused and took in the view of the valley below us. Mount La Crosse lay all the way across, its two lonely snow covered paths the only swathes of white. Off to our right was an epic view of the Mississippi River Valley below the slowly setting sun. The picture below doesn’t begin to do justice to the majesty all around us.

Such an awesome way to spend an afternoon together!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Role Modeling Stress, Hiking with My Sons, & Deer Sightings

Day 3,011 – Another short blog today. Long on life, short on words.

Growth:

The ways in which we as parents act under moments of stress become the models our children accept as “normal.” Remember this and live into the way I would want my sons to react. Remember the example of when Gavin put his first dents in the car.

Appreciation:

The boys and I spent the morning and early afternoon hiking in Pike’s Peak State Park in McGregor, IA. So many laughs, newly created memories, and moments of bonding while enjoying the outdoors. Truly some of my favorite times spent with the boys. Many memories of times in the woods with Dad, so many smiles with my sons. So grateful for making the space to be with them and share that experience with them.

Presence:

During our hike a doe walked across the trail a little ways ahead of us. As we watched her there was a flicker of motion off to my right. Bedded down and almost hidden away was a seven or eight point buck! We took a few minutes to enjoy the view of both until they walked away over the ridge. It was awesome!!!

Thanks!!!