Day 3,059

Alright, here goes nothing. We are going to try recording my blog via voice recording again. Should be interesting. 😉

Growth.

What I’m most thankful for today from a growth standpoint is the acceptance of the fact that I need rest. I am exhausted. I am worn out. It has been a wild couple of weeks. One of the things I track every night is how much sleep I got the previous day. I’m usually in a beautiful zone of seven to eight hours of sleep per night.

Over the past six nights, it’s been less than seven, which is a huge red flag for me. I am definitely feeling it.

It’s been well worth it. I’ve been staying up late to do things with Gavin. Still waking up early to get my workout in with Becky.

And it just seems like it’s always so worth it. It’s so much easier to sacrifice a little bit of sleep knowing that there’s something else I could be doing, a different project to work on, some fitness to get in, some of those types of things.

At this point though, it’s sleepy time for me.

What I’m most thankful for is the fact that I’m realizing that I need some rest tonight. I’m going to sleep like a champ, and that’s okay. I skipped my workout over lunch today, just to give myself a little bit of extra rest. I’m getting my blog done early, and I plan on being in bed immediately following yoga tonight.

It’s not a good thing to be tired all the time, and it’s a good thing to know when it’s time to get caught back up. Here’s to some great sleep this evening.

Appreciation.

I’ve started reading Thomas Merton’s, The New Seeds of Contemplation, for, I believe,the fifth or sixth time, and every time, it just leaves me feeling completely uncomfortable in a wonderful way. While I’ve read it a handful of times, there’s certain concepts that just need to be revisited over and over again in order to try to fit. There are other concepts that I just wasn’t ready for in the previous reads, that now I’m picking up on, and I hear, and they cause me to want to change and to grow, and there’s still so many times when the words of advice and wisdom that Merton is sharing cause me to feel very uncomfortable, because it challenges me, it challenges my mindset, it pushes me out of my comfort zone that I like to kind of turtle up in sometimes, of being able to

have some quiet and some solitude, when really, the right thing to do is to spend time with people, to push myself past that discomfort of spending time with people, and to be with others. And that’s one of the big things that I’m taking away from this time through the book.

I am really glad that I’m okay with re-reading a book that makes me feel so uncomfortable. It’s difficult, there have been a lot of moments when I’ve paused and rewound and thought through and just sat in silence to take in, but it’s all helpful because I can feel that in that discomfort is growth. I’ve still got a long ways to go, I have a feeling I’ve got dozens more times to read this book before it finally, truly starts to fit and to maybe feel right, but for the time being, I’m embracing the discomfort and just leaning right into it.

Presence.

My moment of presence this morning was the moment my alarm went off and I knew I had to get out of bed. I was exhausted, I was half asleep, but I knew it was time to get up. Every ounce of my body and my head wanted to go back to sleep, but I had to run to get in.

I am so glad that I made the decision to get up and run, I am so glad that I had the fun that I had last night hanging out with Gavin watching the Super Bowl, but I’m really also glad for the sleep I’m going to get tonight as I talked about earlier. That moment reminded me and was essentially what kick-started my mindset of realizing

I need to get some sleep tonight and start to get caught back up.

Here’s to that moment of waking up when we really don’t want to, but we know it’s the right thing to do.

Thanks!!!

Day 3,058

Growth:

While driving up north with Becky today I was listening to one of my favorite books, The New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton. Even though I’ve read it a few times I was still picking up some deep insights on this read through. From time to time I had to pause the book, turn on some fitting music, and then let my mind mull over the points made in the book.

There was a beautiful balance of quiet, reading, music, and stillness on the drive this morning. Very peaceful and wonderful way to kick off the day!

Appreciation:

One of the key insights from reading this morning may seem rather simple, but there’s definitely a complexity to it in practice. It seems as if the moments of greatest joy are those in which we are living into the person we are called to be and the moments of frustration are when we are going against the grain. Live into our true selves and joy is plentiful, live into a non-authentic self and feel unfulfilled.

This insight has been in my head all day and I’m grateful for this seed of wisdom which continue to blossom.

Presence:

Today I took some time to knock out a handful of projects. One of which was writing up a shout out for someone who has had an awesomely positive impact on others. Taking the time to write that was very engaging and was a moment of extreme presence.

Thanks!!!

Day 3,057

I’m breaking from the usual format tonight. It has been a very full day, and definitely a +2 day (at the end of each day I rate my overall joy from the day on s scale of -2 to +2). Here are a handful of reasons it was a +2 day (& the notes I’ll add in my daily journal):

• Woke up at 5am on a Saturday specifically to get a solid workout in
• Knocked out almost 400 floors on the stair machine in just under two hours
• Love, love, love reading Speaker for the Dead while exercising. So many insightful ideas
• Broke up Gavin’s powerlifting meet by hiking in the bluffs with Becky in between events
• Saw Gavin achieve all of his powerlifting goals from this season
• Enjoyed conversation with great parent friends
• Chilling out and eating pizza while laughing with family as we wrapped up the night.
• Hearing Dominic had an excellent rugby match

An awesome day all around!!!

Thanks!!!

Day 3,056

Growth:

It’s okay to create a short & concise blog post. Success isn’t measured in number of words. There is no one to impress. There is only the process, living into purpose. Don’t create something unnecessary due to external expectations you are actually putting onto yourself. Be authentic.

Appreciation:

Today I took action towards closing the gap between who I am and who I am called to be. It felt so wonderfully right! An idea which has been growing like a bamboo seed for quite some time appears to be just about ready to explode from the ground. Is there a better feeling than living into one’s purpose?

Presence:

Wow, the moment of typing up my Growth section tonight! That was not at all where I expected to go. I was aware of my mindset / inner monologue…

“ugh, I want to keep this short because I’m tired, but then I need to write a disclaimer about why this post is going to be short.”

My awareness of my thought process helped me quickly see just how stupid and ego driven I was acting. First off, who am I writing this for – others or myself? Second, who cares how long the post is? Third, why would I care about someone’s opinion of what I type? Last, why am I not focused on the single most important reason I utilize this practice daily – its intent, its purpose?

In that moment my true self started typing, I allowed “me” to come out and be truly present. That might be one of my favorite paragraphs yet!

Thanks!

Day 3,055

Growth:

Last night as I lay in bed my head started to drown in negative thoughts. Worries, fears, stress, and all of their friends started to flood my brain. Funny how when one negative thought finds its way in just before sleep it is so easy for so many others to follow, one after another. My heart rate spiked, I laid on my back with my eyes wide open, and I felt crushing stress.

…and then I had a thought. Then I paused and soaked in the thought, shaped it a little, and then pulled up my Notes app on my phone and typed a little note to myself.

“How quickly all the fears and worries snowball in the mind when one little seed of fear is allowed to find purchase. Why is there seemingly a gravitational pull of negativity and fear once it is first allowed in?”

Mike Kreiling – Random Bedtime Thoughts

As I considered what I wrote something interesting happened. It was as if I turned on the light and all ghosts scattered with the darkness. In choosing to OBSERVE what was happening rather than BEING what was happening my stress all dissipated. I was AWARE of what was actually happening, my mind was stressing over completely foolish things which I either have no control over, are incredibly unlikely to happen, or were being blown way out of proportion. As soon as I was aware of my response/emotion/reaction the illusion was broken and I was able to laugh off the stress! I went back to my Notes app and added another snippet:

“Changing from ‘BEING’ to ‘OBSERVING’ allows a change of perspective to break the illusion of fear. By becoming aware of my thoughts and emotions I can see through them for what they really are.”

Mike Kreiling – More Random Bedtime Thoughts

The moments of crushing anxiety were pretty awful, no question. I am amazed at how one subtle shift in perspective dispelled the demons and helped me to relax and sleep like a champ.

Appreciation:

Due to a last minute cancelation I ended up with an extra 75 minutes this morning in the office before the start of the business day. This “Bonus Time” turned out to be one of the biggest reasons my day was as productive as it was! As soon as the cancelation happened I jumped right into a project I’d been working on for the past week. With no one else in the office and no phones ringing I was able to hit the jets and knock out not only that project, but I also got a hell of a start on another one! 

When the “Time Fairy” brings us a little surprise like that the best we can do is completely take advantage of it and make the most of it. I did just that and it made all the difference today!

Presence:

My office is in the corner of our building and there are two windows I can easily look out while I am working. While hammering through my bonus time productivity boost I couldn’t help but occasionally peek out and see an extraordinary sky with a handful of clouds slowly changing color as the sun rose. I so love the mornings when there are just enough clouds to catch the slowly rising sun to reflect a bevy of oranges and purples and pinks and reds, while there’s also enough blue sky to add an additional accent to the beautiful scene.

Thanks!!!

Day 3,054

Growth:

Sometimes it takes guts to point out an error someone is making. It takes even more guts to say it when that person is your boss. When someone says it as a matter of fact, a matter of caring – regardless of whether or not that person is your supervisor – they are a person of outstanding integrity. I’m grateful to have those people around me, they inspire me to be a better me.

Appreciation:

After finishing Ender’s Game I decided to follow the path into the next book in the series, Speaker for the Dead. It is one of my favorite fictions of all time thanks to the depth and complexity of the characters and their interactions. Throw in several insightful concepts of spirituality, mortality, and philosophy and it really has everything within its pages.

What leapt off the pages for me today was a quote from one of the protagonists, Valentine. She’s spent the past years moving from planet to planet taking time to write the history of each. In a flash of insight she realizes how much she has changed as a result of her experiences.

“And it’s true, thought Valentine.  I’m not the same person, really, from book to book, because each world changes who I am, even as I write down the story of the world.  And this world most of all.”

Orson Scott Card, Speaker for the Dead

It really struck a chord with me. I’ve recently and often written about “never stepping in the same river twice” or never being the same person who’s read the same book in the past. Life changes us and as a result we are not the same person as the day before. Even the process of writing each blog changes the me. Her statement was such a beautifully eloquent way of making that point.

Presence:

While my walk outside in early February over lunch was fantastic, the moment which stuck out to me today was during our monthly Star of the Month meeting. I had the privilege of sharing who the two recipients of this month’s Star of the Month were to our teams. The smiles on their faces when they realized they were the ones being bragged up were priceless! They both did an outstanding job of living into our core values this month and seeing the recognition on their faces was epic!

Thanks!!!

Day 3,053

Growth:

There’s a beauty to getting so lost in work when it is all towards a clear purpose. My task list today was very straight forward and I tackled the majority of what I wanted to get done and I still have much of tomorrow to finish. What I’m most thankful for is remembering just how important it is to have a clear focus and goals to help get myself into a flow state like I was in much of the day. In those moments time seems to disappear and all that exists is the work ahead of me. Tomorrow I will do my best to follow a similar pattern and keep the same rhythm.

Appreciation:

Over the past couple of months I’ve started carving out time over lunch to go to the gym and get a bonus workout in. Today I did the same as I was in between tasks. I paused to wrap up my current task, prepped a few things for the next so I could jump right in when I returned, and then headed out. After 45 minutes of a sweet chest and back endurance workout my heart was pumping, my head was clear, and I was ready to get back to work. Had I just chilled my energy level wouldn’t have been nearly as high and I would not have been as productive as I was. Here’s to quick middle of the day workouts to help increase productivity!

Presence:

This afternoon at work I was obviously deep in thought when one of my teammates made a comment and asked it I was doing okay. I couldn’t help but laugh as I realized just how I must’ve looked in that moment. I was in the midst of some deep thinking and work when I realized I needed to grab something. While walking I was still mentally going through the concept I was working on and I was completely oblivious to the world around me until my teammate made a comment. For sure, I wasn’t present in where I was walking in that moment, but the focus and depth of my thought process was wildly in the moment. Definitely an engaging project to work on for sure!

Thanks!!!

Day 3,052

Growth:

Preparing for a meeting, when done correctly, seriously increases the productivity of the meeting and leads to significantly more success. Thanks to the prep with today the meeting escalated right into deeper topics providing more productive insights.

Appreciation:

Today has been ridiculously busy! Nonstop from 4:35am until about 8:30 when Gavin and I busted out Yahtzee to wind down. While it’s been crazy full I can’t help but smile at how much of the busyness was lived towards a bigger purpose. I don’t want it this busy all the time, but when it is I’m always happy when it is a purposeful busy.

Presence:

The sunrise and gunners today were incredible!!! So many variations of pinks and purples, the sky’s color painted the Mississippi River in similar hues – such beauty!

Thanks!!!

Day 3,050

Been an awesome day full of smiles, laughter, and time with family. Heading to bed much later than normal, so this is a short one.

I’m thankful for so much time with family today! We watched Dominic’s rugby match (our first time at a rugby match) and were joined by Mom and Brad. Time as a family on the drive up, time as a family at the game, time as a family at dinner, and time as a family relaxing at Mom’s. Such a great day!

Last night I read an epic quote from a book Dominic introduced me to and it’s been resonating in my soul all day.

“Death is tragic but, no matter how brief one’s years are, living without a purpose is the greatest tragedy of all.”

Jeremy Evans, See You Tomorrow

Thanks!!!