Day 3,337 – abbreviated version tonight, I’m tired after driving home from Gavin’s last football game of the year.
Growth:
Learn from past experiences, let them guide your actions.
Today I remembered that I should not want something for someone else more than they want it for themselves. We all walk our own roads, offer a helping hand, but ultimately they are the ones who walk their own path. Putting them on our backs and carrying them to our destination helps no one.
This still feels so unnatural to me, but I lived into it and it was the right thing to do.
Appreciation:
The Universe often seems to know what we need and provides it in abundance. Not necessarily what we want, but what we need. Today that was manifest as an unexpected challenge, a wonderful opportunity, profound words of kindness, moments of vulnerability, and in working in the shoes of others. Each leading me towards a specific path, all leading towards purpose, all creating growth.
Presence:
Bonus time with family over pizzas before a football game, sharing laughs and stories, and enjoying the company. All presence, all awesome, all appreciated.
Always remember the concept of timshel – “thou mayest”
In all seconds of life we always have a choice to make. We may not be able to choose what happens to us, but we always have the choice of how we respond to it. Even in the most difficult of moments remember there is always a choice, thou mayest… timshel.
Appreciation:
The lifecycle of sequoias is bound to fire. The massive trees, often 15 feet around, are protected from the heat by a thick, shaggy bark. Their lowest branches are far from the forest floor, reducing the chances they’ll ignite when smaller trees burn. And when a fire’s heat rises, the sequoias’ cones open up, releasing thousands of seeds. Those seeds sprout quickly in the newly cleared soil below their parent trees.
The unexpected moment of extreme kindness in a storm of emotion, an opportunity to choose to see the majesty rather than the crashing waves. A beautiful moment.
There are so many ways to determine success – money, competition, possessions, status, followers, etc. The one which seems to trump all others is this: How have I impacted the lives of others?
Successes, failures, and everything in between when I measure up my day. So much room for growth and improvement, such an opportunity to close the gap between who I am and who I am called to be.
Appreciation:
So many directions I could go this evening. From openly sharing emotions to time spent with friends to teammates‘ successes to moments of stillness to creative sparks to lessons from mentors to paying back what has been given to learning from unexpected sources to pausing to ask a thought provoking question. While they all would be right there seems to be a pull within me to go in a different direction.
This has been a season of profound change for me. The song One More Light by Linkin Park really touched me today, specifically one line. Tonight I’m appreciative for a line which really helped me process my emotions today.
Presence:
Funny how showing appreciation for someone can draw out huge amounts of emotion. Today a moment of gratitude moved me to tears. It was a moment of epiphany I will never forget.
When life is busy it seems so much easier to discern what is most important. Be sure not to confuse urgency with importance, sometimes the urgent is the chaff to be removed.
Appreciation:
Throughout the day there were many moments in which I felt I was living towards my purpose, like I was being pulled along towards something. As I reflect there was much learning, little nuggets of realization as I did something well as well as when I goofed something up. One of the highlights was a compliment I received out of the blue in a conversation which lit up a huge smile, even more than I would’ve expected.
“Wow! You ask some really thoughtful questions provoking questions!”
Music to my soul!
Presence:
The past two days have been wildly full, almost twenty meetings in twenty hours of work. That said, the level of focus necessary to be fully present and efficient enough to complete what needs to be done afterwards is sky high. What’s interesting is that I almost can’t help but be more and more present as my schedule fills up. So much accomplished in the past two days, the busyness has led to additional presence.
When I’m too exhausted to go to yoga I definitely need to go to yoga. I’ve yet to ever regret it.
Appreciation:
Some stages of life involve a heavy uphill climb, that’s where the magic happens. Coasting is easy, but muscles don’t get worked. Driving the legs as pistons, one after another after another, to propel oneself uphill takes work, sweat, and so much energy, but it also builds muscle and strengthens the entire system.
In so many ways it helps us see if the grit towards a long term goal is worth it. If it is a worthwhile venture the pain and the sweat and the work will still be real, but so will the smile as it’s all getting done.
Here’s to the grind, to the reps, that strengthen us.
Presence:
Yoga tonight started out rough, I couldn’t get my brain to shut down. After a while I finally got totally into my breathing and stretching and next thing I knew I was waking up from Final Rest – and with so much clarity of mind. Amazing how times flies when I’m in a total flow state!
Remember to slow it down a bit. Big things don’t happen quickly, they happen through repetition and momentum. One step at a time, focus on what’s most important and then build upon it. Slow and steady wins the race.
Appreciation:
Each season of life brings different rewards and challenges. Throughout each it is up to us to determine how we will utilize the season. Will we focus on growth, will we capitulate to whatever life throws our way, will we write the next chapter, or will we break under the pressure. As I think through all that is currently going on professionally and personally I can easily get lost and feel out of control. When I remember to mind the gap, to choose growth, appreciation, and presence it all seems to make more sense. Here is to all the hard work and preparation over the past twenty five years that have strengthened me for today.
Presence:
Getting outside this morning was priceless. Nice and cool, light mist, grey skies. It all helped colors like the red holly berries and a the bright green grass really pop out. The fresh scent of autumn was thick, stirring in the light breeze. Everything makes more sense in the woods.
When in doubt, do useful physical work or get outside and walk, or better yet, do both. Nothing about whatever is stressing you out really gets fixed during that time, but your perspective shifts in beautiful ways.
Appreciation:
In so many ways today was what I needed. I slept in and racked up over nine hours of sleep. Upon waking we took Leia for a long hike throughout the woods surrounding my in laws’ home. I then helped Gavin and Ken shovel and move the manure pile to the gardens. A quick lunch and then back outside helping to pound a fence post into the ground. From there I went back into the woods, hiking the trails while also intentionally “losing” myself off some small game trails before find a deer stand to sit in. Enjoying quiet stillness alone in the stand before coming back inside.
The fresh air and motion helped ease my soul. Everything gets put into perspective when the noise and busyness of the normal daily life are muted. Exactly what I needed today.
Presence:
Sitting in a tree stand with no bow or gun, just listening and taking in the woods all around, enjoying the serenity of stillness in the woods. My soul at peace.
A completely packed day can be either productive or a mess, so much depends upon the preparation and discipline.
Appreciation:
Tonight I’m going to bed absolutely exhausted from a long day and a long week . I’m tired, worn out, and ready to recharge. So much life lived in the past week, I’m grateful for the opportunity to crash as well as all the moments which led to this profound tiredness.
Presence:
Gavin’s football game tonight was a wild back and forth slugfest. The lead changed hands with the regularity of a metronome. The game came down to the final twenty seconds and it was awesome! So glad they pulled out victory at the end!
Over the past couple of years I’ve worked towards splitting my blog into three parts – Growth, Appreciation, and Presence – an homage of sorts to one of my first mentors who goes out of her way to find one thing that is beautiful each day. When I first learned of her practice it helped me see that I would benefit from finding one way I grew one thing I appreciated, and one moment of true presence each day. This practice has increased my awareness of those three categories more than expected and has led to growth through introspection.
That said, when I started blogging daily almost ten years ago I focused on one specific thing I was thankful for each day and I went deeper into that singular topic. Occasionally I had “list days” in which I had to go through an entire list of what I was grateful for as there seemed to be blessing after blessing after blessing. For sure, they weren’t all initially seen as “blessings,” some were very challenging moments in which I was able to grow, but they were moments that shaped and molded me, hence I was grateful for them even though they hurt. As another of my mentors once said, “‘Joy’ isn’t the same as happiness, and it is often the opposite of comfort.”
Lately I’ve been a fan of breaking the blog into smaller bite sized pieces as it provides the opportunity to not go too deep into too many categories, especially the ones I need to write about but don’t want to go deep into because they hurt. What’s interesting is that it is in exactly those moments in which I need to go a little deeper and work through my thoughts and emotions. In processing all of life, the blessings and the frustrations and the sufferings, gratitude helps transform all the experiences into growth. It is in that vein that I am opting to go “old school” tonight and dive a little deeper.
Whew – and that was all just the intro! 😉
Today has been a difficult day, one filled with emotion, one in which I can’t help but pause, take a step back, and feel incredibly discouraged. Due to compounding of mistakes and missteps there are challenges I need to face in business and they have a large impact. By the end of the work day I was feeling drained and questioning my ability to live into the purpose I feel called to live into, to brighten lives through shared experiences. In short, I was feeling like a failure. There were bright spots throughout the day to be sure, but the biggest challenge just kept pulling me down and it seemed to be the only place I could focus my attention. I felt defeated.
As I tried to put it behind me for the night and spend time focused on my family and being home I kept drifting back to that challenge. I could feel the weight of it on my shoulders and my soul.
Out of the blue I received a phone call from someone I had not spoken with in over four years. They were reaching out to ask me to be a reference for them as they considered a path towards a dream they want to live into. As we spoke they shared the positive impact I’d had on their life at a pivotal time. The thoughts and appreciation I shared for them helped them out with providing the right message at the right time and they are still grateful for that interaction. My eyes were watering up as they shared the positive impact I’d had. In a sentence, they shared that I had lived into my purpose – to brighten lives through shared experiences.
What a dichotomy! In one case I was feeling as if I was failing at my purpose, yet in the other I’d lived into it without intention. Two distinct moments of the day, both overshadowing all the rest, both focused on purpose, and yet both going in polar opposite directions.
As I spend time reflecting on today and both of those interactions I can’t help but remember a handful of nuggets of wisdom others have taught:
The question we should be asking ourselves isn’t “What should I do?” rather, it should be “How can I be useful?” In that question we find the direction we should really pursue.
Each day we should ask ourselves, “How have we impacted the lives of others?” This question will also help us see the positive, but it can also cut deeply and help us learn from our mistakes. Asking myself this question has led to tremendous insight into whether or not I’m living into the best version of me.
Never underestimate the power of small gestures. This was advice I’ve learned from many others, but Jim Collins summarized so concisely. Don’t hesitate to reach out and share what a positive impact someone has made on you – you never know when that is exactly what they needed at the right time. The conversation this evening was an exquisite balance of sharing my gratitude four years ago when the other person needed it and their sharing of their gratitude exactly when I needed it. The Universe dances so beautifully and moves us all exactly where we need to be if we allow it to. Never hesitate to share our gratitude or kind words, those small gestures may have an enormous positive impact on the other person and cause a ripple of positivity which will grow and grow.
Control what you can control. This was what started the conversation with my friend and I a handful of years ago and I chuckled as I re-read what I wrote for them back then. Little did I know how much the world would change and how much difficulty and challenge that phrase would get me through. Even tonight I can’t help but be reminded of how much this is a guiding light in my life – when I remember to seek the advice out for myself.
As I finally wrap this all up I can’t help but smile. My challenge still lies in front of me, but I feel more bolstered to figure it out while also remembering that there are ways to live into my purpose while doing so. I’m reminded of, and grateful for, the small gestures which help us see the world more clearly when we’ve let it get hazy. The clarity provided this evening was truly stunning and moving. If it were my story to share I would get into more detail, but that is for them. At least I can share that their motivation, selflessness, gratitude, passion, and integrity are inspiring to me, in many ways they have had a very positive impact on me.
To my friend – thank you for the incredibly positive impact you’ve had on me today. The writing of my blog was cathartic, and inspired by you. Thank you for reminding me that one misstep doesn’t define us, we have the opportunity to live into our purpose daily, and inspiring me to live into my dreams – especially when it isn’t easy.
Work within my strengths, focus on one challenge at a time, expect everything to take a little longer than expected, build it right the first time, breathe, ask for help, keep the purpose in mind, and remember that clarity is the key. Just do that, everything will work out.
Appreciation:
So thankful for our morning run today! It was exactly what I needed to get my brain in gear and headed in the right direction. Becky and I had time to talk through the news and the blood pumping really helped me to choose the right mindset. Routines are so helpful when the world is anything but.
Presence:
Sometimes I just need to let my brain unwind. I forget that it can often be like a muscle, it needs some rest.
Remember that it needs to watch its diet though too. Feed it wholesome and healthy foods and it will rest better. Shovel in junk food and it won’t recover as well.
Tonight I chose to unwind and I did so with junk food, comfort food for the brain. In some ways I needed that complete pause to recuperate. Tomorrow will be back to the healthy mental diet!
Thankful for Forty 