Day 2,835

Growth:

Patience makes a large positive difference. I spent time working on a repair to Becky’s backpacking tent this morning and it got me pretty frustrated at one point. I’m not well skilled at sewing and the work needed to add a patch to the screen was pretty detailed – also not one of my greatest strengths. While slowly stitching my blood pressure kept rising as I made a handful of mistakes. All I could think of was all the times Dad reminded me to either take a deep breath or walk away when I got too frustrated with a project. I heeded the advice, took a deep breath and kept at the project. It worked and the project was completed!

Appreciation:

Nothing quite like a week full of fresh air and outdoor time! Over the past week I’ve had the opportunity to spend a ton of time outside and it has felt amazing. I’m pretty tired and worn out, but it has been all worth it. With all this fresh air again today I know I’ll sleep like a champ tonight. Any week like this is one I can be thankful for.

Presence:

Spending time on the sandbar with friends shooting the bull and relaxing was fantastic this afternoon! After receiving a text out of the blue our plans for the afternoon on our boat shifted slightly and we were off to hang out with friends. My phone was somewhere in the bottom of a bag and I never had an urge to look at it as I was engaged in conversation and laughing with my friends the entire time. An excellent end to a great weekend!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,834

Growth:

I’m grateful for the residual backpacking mindset and chill from earlier this week. Today I had enough time to get some stuff done around the house before heading out to watch Gavin. After lunch and a hike Becky and I knocked out a bunch of housework. Rather than chill I took time to set up a “rucking pack” for me to use while hiking and then decided to hit the grocery store and check that one off the list before relaxing.

By the time I sat down to relax I was able to completely do so and it felt wonderful!!! Taking time to pick up a novel I’ve been reading for a while was a great way to enjoy the rewards of getting things done early. I’ll likely be wrapping up this blog a bit quickly so I can get back at it 😉

Funny how much I appreciate getting the work done first and then fully relaxing. It came through loud and clear while backpacking and continued to bring me joy today.

Appreciation:

While Gavin was volunteering at River Vault (more on that in the next section) Becky, Dominic, and I went hiking in Hixon. Dominic wanted to join us and we had a great time out in the woods talking while walking. Nothing crazy or earth shattering or anything, but some solid and fun conversation with him. As we see just how short this last summer with him is panning out to be I’m grateful for the time he wanted to spend with us doing something we all love. Next school year will be wild without him at home, I’m grateful for each moment we’re sharing before then.

Presence:

Gavin participated in a pretty unique event today, the 13th annual River Vault competition at Riverfest in La Crosse. There was a pole vaulting pit set up on the levee alongside the Black River. Talk about the most scenic vaulting I’ve ever seen!

It was a blast watching Gavin and the other competitors launch themselves up and over the bar.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,833

Growth:

Living with a strong sense of purpose really makes a huge impact in how life is lived. When I stay the course on purpose my life seems so much more fulfilling. When I allow myself to drift I find bits of initial happiness but quickly feel less full, more empty.

“People who labor all their lives but have no purpose to direct every thought and impulse toward are wasting their time-even when hard at work.”

Marcus Aurelius

Appreciation:

Today I finished a book which was amongst the best I’ve read in a very long time. The story of Sir Ernest Shackleton and the crew of the Endurance is so unimaginable that my brain struggles to realize that their survival was even possible. When I consider that it was over a century ago my brain pretty much breaks.

For almost two years the crew of the Endurance survived in some of the most hospitable conditions known to man as their attempt to cross the continent of Antartica went horrifically wrong almost from the start. Their story of survival and rescue is so improbable that there were sections I had to re-read to make sure I read it correctly the first time.

There are so many nuggets of information to take away from this book, it is definitely one I’ll be re-reading. Honestly, as I finished the book I was moved to powerful emotion. I am so grateful I finally read this. My mind is blown.

Presence:

There were a handful of moments which really stuck out today. From my morning run with Becky to watching a deer sneakily walk through a cornfield to finishing Endurance to a moment of kindness from a teammate to focusing on transferring information for the next week to an interview which went incredibly well to pausing my book to listen to music to sing loudly to in the car alone I could choose any one of those moments and be very satisfied.

Spending time with Becky and the boys listening to their adventures from the past week took the cake. So many laughs, smiles, and memories made, hearing about them and be 100% focused on their stories was amazing. I am so glad they had so much fun and I’m thankful for the memories they stirred in me.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,832

Growth:

Yet again I’m reminded of how good it feels to do something new. Throwing knives was very frustrating to start as I struggled to find the right form. I kept reminding myself of SLII and listened for and received the direction I needed from the person coaching me (who I later found out was ranked #36 in the world in knife throwing last year). As I continued to try new instructions I slowly improved and by the end was sticking the overwhelming majority of my throws (though not necessarily on target, but one step a a time, right?). By the end I was smiling and thoroughly enjoying the activity.

Trying something new is such a great way to focus my brain, feel humility, and remind myself how much I enjoy the process of learning and trying new things. In so many ways I was reminded of how awesome it was to learn to log roll back in the day!

Appreciation:

The state of clarity and calm from my backpacking experience stood up well to the day. Even though I came back to a lot to get done and added a ton more I never really felt stressed. I kept my same rhythm as in the woods and focused on what needed to get done first. I set a plan for the rest and will work through it over the next week.

Everything seems so much clearer after my time in the forest. What a gift!

Presence:

Throwing axes and knives with my Winona team today was AWESOME! Had so much fun in the moments of joking and laughing with my team as well as while learning to throw knives, something I’ve never really done before. The time with teammates was an excellent opportunity to further bond with good friends. The time throwing knives was an opportunity to quiet my brain and be completely focused on nothing but that task. A sweet little combo!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,830 (written on Tuesday, June 27)

Growth:

Two thoughts really stick out for me today (at least so far – I’m laying in my tent reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius so there’s bound to be many more before sleep). 

First, life passes by so quickly.  Life and death are cycles lived out in so many ways in the woods.  All throughout the forest are examples of both and how both are natural and a necessary part of the other.  

How am I working to close the gap in the little time I have left?  Even if I have 60 more years ahead of me it will be gone in a flash if I don’t live appropriately.

Second, I almost chuckled out loud when I read a quote from Meditations that mirrors a thought bouncing through my head while hiking today.  Again, ego is at the heart of it.

“Beautiful things of any kind are beautiful in themselves and sufficient to themselves.  Praise is extraneous.”

Why am I dismayed when a good deed I do goes unnoticed?  Shouldn’t I find inner peace in knowing I did right?  How does recognition from someone else change what I’ve done?

The trees, the rocks, and all the beautiful things I’ve seen while hiking don’t not care if I praise them and do not change in the least either with or without my praise.

What’s more, many of them have existed longer than me and will be here long after me, regardless of my noticing them.

(the other quote I had going through my head was from the movie Walter Mitty – “Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.”)

Appreciation:

There’s a simple rhythm that I’m finding in backpacking.  Wake up, pack up, head out, hike until the next site, set up camp, eat, go on another short hike or enjoy quiet time in nature, think, blog, sleep.  That may sound like a lot initially, but when I consider the busyness of typical day at work this list infinitesimally microscopic.

There aren’t as many distractions (though there are exponentially more mosquitoes than cell phone call, texts, and emails combined) and there’s not as much any stress.  The day is largely what was planned with biggest variations being what time I start hiking and if I see something extraordinarily interesting (purple moss, a giant tree growing atop a rock, an almost invisible legacy of a nurse log).  Sure, I had to figure out what to do when my boot lace broke, but that was pretty straightforward.

Life on the trail is just easier.  So much more simple.  More focused, less distracted.  Even with less it is still full of joy.  A different joy to be sure, but soothingly soul filling

My mind isn’t even close to considering a backpacking trip of more than a week anytime in the near future, but I could see sneaking in a long weekend  trip once or twice a year.  I’m quickly understanding the result of research being done that human joy increases significantly after only three days in the woods.  I get it, I’m there.

Presence:  

Okay, I was going to write about listening to the birds, enjoying the hike, and all that, but I can’t pass up definitive proof that my hiking boots smell like flowers!  

Yup, 100% legit, not lying.  Even after a few days of getting muddy, sweaty, and swampy my boots must smell amazing!  How else would you explain the butterflies who were all over them while I had them off to dry?  A couple of them even flew inside my boots!  How crazy is that???  Certainly a moment I’ll never forget.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,829 (written on Monday, June 26)

Growth:

Why am I always in a hurry?  This morning I caught myself waking up early, hitting the trail hard, and staying focused on getting to camp to set up as soon as possible.  I then made it worse in the only way possible, I started thinking ahead to setting up camp tomorrow.  

At some point I finally realized what I was doing… the exact opposite of why I’m out here.  To pause, to breathe, to relax.  Not everything is a competition.  Not everything needs a strategy.  Sometimes the long way around is the most enjoyable and has the best views.

Presence is a gift.  Why must do I naturally default to thinking ahead rather than focusing on the now?  Not everything is s race.  Not every achievement must be reached.  Ahh…. That’s likely part of this, isn’t it?  

Hello Ego, my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again…

I never realized that part of what gets in my way of the moment is often ego.  Here’s to continuing to work on shedding ego.

Appreciation:

I’m really thankful for giving myself this gift of aloneness.  The first 24-ish hours were wildly uncomfortable, especially when I caught myself talking out loud.  Now that I’ve settled into it there’s definitely a magic and a joy to it.  For sure, I don’t need nor want this experience often, but it is incredibly therapeutic.

I’m facing silence and lack of interaction.  I’m seeing parts of me I do not like and wish to change.  

I’m seeing just how small and insignificant my life is in the big picture.  I am here and will be gone but the rivers and rocks were here long before me and will be here long after I’m gone.  This thought isn’t gloomy or dismal, quite the opposite.  It reminds me how precious this life is and how I must take full advantage of this gift while I’m blessed to have it.

In the quiet of the woods I hear Dad.  So many thoughts, so much gratitude.  

All this and do much more in this time of being alone.

Presence:

Oh my goodness, so many moments of presence today, especially after I realized what I shared in the Growth section.  Here are a few that really stick out to me.

• Sitting on a rock in a stream watching the water spill over the rocks.
• Watching a half dozen water striders jockey for position in the moving water.
• Seeing the sun catch the mosquitoes just right so I can watch the dragonfly dart around as he ate his supper.
• The butterfly who landed on my finger as I sat still.  Thanks to being that close I was able to see that its wings were not black, rather a super dark blue.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,828 (written on Sunday, June 25)

Growth:

Funny how our brains operate when our distractions are removed and we’re left with our own thoughts.  There’s a liberating feel when I start off alone and without distraction, but it quickly becomes a bit uncomfortable.  It’s almost as if I live in such a state of action that my brain almost short circuits when I’ve got time to pause.  

My backpacking trip has started off well but is eerily similar to my hermitage trip, just as I’d assumed yesterday.  Even with that being the case I thought I’d be able to handle it better thanks to that recent experience.  Alas, I am right back where I was then.  

I am uncomfortably alone.  The distractions I would normally use to keep my brain occupied with anything but aloneness are not here.  It is just me in the woods.  I am enjoying and taking in all the sights, smells, and sounds, but I am alone.

Didn’t Dr Seuss write about becoming comfortable being alone in Oh, the Places You’ll Go?  He was definitely on to something!

So tonight I am uncomfortably alone.  Tomorrow I’ll likely already be feeling much more comfortable in my own skin alone.  Discomfort is where we have the opportunity to grow, that’s what I’ll be doing.

Appreciation:

I’m really glad I clarified the goal I am hoping to achieve this week.  I initially was going to say a solo backpacking trip but I added in “for at least three nights” as a qualifier.  

When I was almost to my camp today I started talking with myself about how good I was feeling and how I should just continue up the trail and knock this entire 30 miles out in two days (one night) instead.  Why not?  I’ve done longer than that in two days before.

That’s when I smiled and reminded myself that I wanted this to be an uncomfortable experience, one in which I would have more time than I needed with no one else with and with nothing else to do other than spend time alone in the woods.  The purpose wasn’t just to hike a trail and call it good, there was a lot more to it.

I’m grateful for clarifying my dream to remind of the purpose as it saved me from myself today!

Presence:

Spending the sunrise all alone at Lake of the Clouds was so serene and surreal at the same time.  Every time I’ve been at the overlook there’s always been at least a few people, usually a small crowd.  This morning it was only me.

It was wild being able to enjoy the awesome sight of the lake ringed by hills with mist slowly rising up from the forest with a complete lack of human sound nearby.  My mind quickly went to understanding how this was a special place to the indigenous people of this area.  

As if it weren’t already beautiful enough a bald eagle soared across the view.   

Thanks!!!

Day 2,827 (written on Saturday, June 24)

Growth:

The anticipation of adventure is truly invigorating.  As I prepare to knock out a dream I’ve had for years I’m filled with equal sensations of joy and nervousness.  I’ve never done this before.  I’ve done similar, but this is to be my first solo backpacking trip.  

After my relatively recent hermitage experience I’m delighted for time alone in thought while also nervous about how the first day or two of being truly alone will go.  

I’m going outside of my comfort zone and it is exciting and a bit nerve wracking at the same time.  I feel so alive!

Appreciation:

Something about the drive across Wisconsin and into the Upper Peninsula of Michigan feels so right for so many reasons.  There’s an oddly soothing sense of home that continues through the Driftless, across the cranberry bogs, into the red clay and pines, and finally leading into the miniature mountains and the vast expanse of Lake Superior.  Each twist and turn through the forests and along the swamps brings new surprises and new views.  So much green in so many different  hues, a gourmet feast for the eyes!

Throughout my adult(ish) life there’s been a gravitational pull towards what I initially felt was the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  As I think more deeply on this I’ve realized it is actually more of a pull to Lake Superior and its borderlands.  The lake is so serene and beautiful while being so rough and cruel at the same time.  It is awesome and beautiful in its rawness.  While humans have begun and advanced the Lake has remained, before, during, and after we are gone.  Wreathed in majestic hills, rock, beaches, and forests it is proof that there is something bigger than us.  Humbling, centering, and stirring – when it is within sight one almost can’t help but look away.  Ahh… one of my most joy filled places.

Presence:

There were so many minutes of my drive in which I was completely focused on the views outside my car windows.  I saw more Sandhill Cranes than I can accurately count and even a baby crane!  There were turkeys, turkeys, and more turkeys.  

The three moments that really stick out all involve deer.  On three separate occasions I paused and realized I should be watching for them in the woods beyond the ditch.  In each of those times I was rewarded with a flash of tan as I caught a deer standing deep in the wood or running with a fawn.  It was awesome! 

Thanks!!!

Day 2,831

Growth:

While quite often what we are really looking for can be found within ourselves we sometimes find it better when we step out of ourselves, out of our normal.

Over the past handful of days I’ve found calm, perspective, confidence, humility, peace, contentment, growth, appreciation, and clarity. I am still myself, but me who walked out of the woods is different than the one who walked in.

So thankful for setting this purposeful goal for myself this year. It was better than I expected.

Appreciation:

This morning awoke before daylight to pack up my camp and hug the trail as soon as there was enough light to safely walk the trail. The stretch I’d saved for today was one I enjoyed immensely the last time we were in the Porkies.

The forest has a mysterious, almost whimsical, feel to it in this segment. The old growth forest has titans of trees towering overall the floor and blotting out so much sun that there is minimal undergrowth. When an old giant falls there’s a spotlight of sun which is filled with green plants taking advantage of their luck. There are boulders strewn throughout and it is bordered by a rocky ridge and a plunging valley.

I wanted to experience this at my favorite time of day, before the sun was up and while the world sleeps. It was the stuff of dreams and so perfectly timed. Such a magically surreal experience!

I’m grateful for experiencing this hike the first time as it inspired this entire trip. The anticipation was worth each second and then some.

Presence:

This view in this moment. Breathtaking.

The Lake of the Clouds lit up like it was a fire of copper this morning. In this picture it is still about two miles away and 300 feet below me.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,826

Growth:

One of the reasons I read so voraciously is that I never know when a nugget or lesson from a book will come in handy. Over the past week there have been a handful of moments in which my actions and thoughts were greatly improved as a result of past lessons pulled from reading. From restraint to seeing challenges as a positive to preparing for success and many places in between my actions were markedly better than they would have been without that knowledge. Here’s to reading, a wonderful way to distill wisdom from so many for so much of life.

Appreciation:

Today’s one of those days when I am especially thankful for raising kids who are responsible and love the outdoors. Tonight Dominic is camping out on the sandbar with some friends – what an awesome adventure! I glad that he and Gavin both have such a passion for the outdoors, it continually fills me with joy.

Over the next few weeks the boys will likely be outside more often than inside during their waking hours. They will be hiking, camping, canoeing, rafting, ziplining, and all other types of craziness outside. How awesome that they get to experience so many outdoor adventures this summer!

Presence:

Life sometimes throws us very difficult curveballs and we have to adapt quickly. We have to take definitive action and focus on the bigger picture of doing what is right – especially when it is difficult to do. What I am thankful for today is the moment after the storm when someone reached out to ask how I was doing through the challenge. That act of kindness helped tremendously and was greatly appreciated.

Thanks!!!