Day 2,855

Growth:

Yesterday I shared the question that got me thinking… “How do I measure success?” Today I am still unclear as to the exact answer, but I can say that today was a successful day for so many reasons.

Time spent with family. Time with laughter. Time in thought. Time with tears. Time spent relaxing. Time spent in reflection. Time lived towards purpose.

Case in point, Gavin and I had a wonderful conversation on the topic of death. As LuLu slows down more and more rapidly we are all having to come to grips with losing her. This has been an opportunity for us to talk about how each day our precious life is one day closer to coming to an end, it is a finite resource that we must pause to be thankful for. Each moment is a gift, let’s live it to its fullest rather than let it slip away as it will if we don’t remember that our gas tanks are slowly draining and cannot be filled back up. Death sucks, but we can use it to live so much more fully if we choose to see it as a source of growth.

That and so many other moments left today feeling like a success. How do I measure success? I’m still not sure, but if each day is lived as fully as today’s I’ll feel pretty successful.

Appreciation:

Today was full to the brim with family time! Dominic moves out in less than a month and more than two and a half of those weeks will be spent with him away from home. That doesn’t leave much family time left for our house as we are used to and we wanted to maximize it.

This morning we went out for a nice early morning hike together followed by a trip to a downtown bakery. After showering up we played games, ate lunch, and played more games as a family until Dominic had to leave for work. We then surprised him by heading to the restaurant he works at or dinner and got to spent a little time with him while he was in action (which was awesome to observe). Chill as a family, spend more time together, and call it a night when the boys left to hang out with buddies after 9:30.

From start to finish it was family time. Tomorrow promises to be more of the same as we head to church and then out on the water for one last boat ride for LuLu.

As mentioned above, life is short, it is a gift. Between Dominic moving and LuLu’s health that message has been amplified. Knowing that change is the only given in life isn’t reason for sadness, rather it is a reminder to appreciate life and drink in each moment we are blessed to receive.

Presence:

On our ride to the restaurant Becky, Gavin, and I all had a shared moment of emotion as we talked about LuLu. The hurt was real, the moment sharing emotion with each other was exactly what a family does for each other. Love can help us all through difficult times.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,854

Growth:

“How do you measure your success?”

What an excellent question to help clarify where our time, energy, and focus should be! My mind is still going back and forth wrestling with the answer to that one. Definitely one to remember and go back to often.

Appreciation:

Talking with Dominic while we do dishes before he goes to work. Snuggling with LuLu in the sun on the deck. Talking with Becky before and during supper. Talking with Gavin while watching Messi kick the game winner in his first MLS match. One on one with with my family, what a perfect evening!

Presence:

Snuggling on the deck with LuLu and getting smiles like this? Yes please!

Thanks!

Day 2,853

Growth:

Listen intently, think clearly, and speak intentionally. Such better results than listening to respond and speaking without consideration.

Unfortunately I was on both sides of the equation today, but fortunately I was able to learn from my mistakes and successes.

Appreciation:

Funny how different people know us in different ways and view us through different lenses. Spending time with one group leads to one set of memories and experiences while time with another leads in a completely different direction. This evening it was fun spending time in a slightly different light. So many memories and so many new perspectives based on recent experiences blending with those memories.

Presence:

The sunset over the lake this evening was breathtaking. While I was largely engaged in conversation there were a handful of moments in which I withdrew from the discussion and soaked in the spectacular sky painted with clouds.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,852

Growth:

So much of how a run feels comes down to attitude. Talk myself into it, tell myself I’m feeling especially loose, and don’t let my pace drop. Glad I chose to have a great run!

Appreciation:

Pretty solid day all around today! Great run, got to spend time with Becky. Had breakfast and made eggs for LuLu before driving Gavin to wrestling on my way to work. Productive work day, knocked out my task list, got good news, had some interesting ideas, and everything seems to be progressing well. Nice conversation with Mom on the way home. Dinner on the deck with Becky and then snuggle with LuLu. Pick up Gavin from soccer, watch some soccer with him, and hang out with Dominic when he gets home from reffing. Now blog and bed. Nice, fulfilling day!

Presence:

I may love the sounds of nature, but I’m order to get myself in the zone I need some loud music thumping. This afternoon Eminem helped take my brain where it needed to go for a specific project. Throw in standing and jamming on a balance board while I worked and it was pretty sweet!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,851

Growth:

Questions always lead to better places than answers. Conversations are so much more fun when I ask more questions to learn more rather than when I talk to be heard. My natural tendency is still to talk, I need to keep working on leading with questions rather than talking. There were a few examples of each today, excellent reminders for Future Mike!

Appreciation:

I’ve written about this over and over again, but I am so appreciative for all the outside time I create in my life. This morning I really didn’t want to get out of bed at 4:15am, but I knew I wanted to get outside. I was on the trail and hiking by 4:45am and had about as awesome start to the day as one could ask for. The weather was an almost perfect 58f, it was dark in the woods but just starting to lighten in the sky, and the birds started singing within about five minutes of delving into the forest. Everything was so quiet and still, I was awake and alive while the rest of the world slept. By the time I was out of the woods I had just enough time to get showered up and head off to Eau Claire for work for the day.

Throughout the day I kept going back to the memories created this morning, to enjoying the stillness, to the calm which can only seem to be found in nature (this is something for me to work to grow into, I should be able to find that calm by diving within myself rather than relying on an external factor like the woods). Each decision I made seemed to be guided more closely towards the right direction thanks to the calm and clarity my morning hike provided.

Presence:

Soooo many moments of presence in the woods this morning! There was the first deer I saw hidden in the darkness until my headlamp caught his eyes…

There was the sound of birds singing all around me in one spot on my way up the bluff…

…the deer who stood atop the bluff and watched as I walked to the edge of the bluff and stayed in the same spot until I walked back past her and descended…

…the view through the entire bluff with the clouds settled upon the sleeping city…

…the Disney-esque moment in which the indigo bunting flew in and sat atop a rock to make sure I saw him.

…the deer who also must have enjoyed the birdsong and let me walk past as he watched me…

…and his buddy who walked up the trail and right near me as I was taking the previous picture.

So many wonderful moments starting off my morning in a serene sense of calm. What a gift!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,850

This picture says it all. Becky got home from yoga and found LuLu and I snuggled on the deck taking a little snooze together. LuLu had her head resting in the crook of my elbow while her front paws laid atop my shoulder and chest.

That capped off quite a stretch of a perfect evening with LuLu.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,849

Growth:

Reminders of the temporary nature of life are difficult. When we are brought face to face with the impermanence of all that exists it is quite usually in a feeling of loss. My mind often initially thinks of something being taken away, but when I pause to choose my mindset I remember that I have a choice to make. While the loss of a loved one hurts, there is not a loss of the memories which have been made, the love that has been shared, or the moments spent together. In many ways it brings them all into wonderfully clear perspective of how much those moments meant and how thankful I am for the opportunity to share them with that loved one.

Appreciation:

To tie this in with the previous section I’m also very appreciative for the clarity brought to our lives when we face the impermanence of life. I know I will miss LuLu tremendously and nothing will prevent that hurt. That said, facing her fate in the near future puts so much of life into such clear perspective and helps me live life a little more fully and vividly.

We all have an expiration date, we just don’t know when it is. With the unknown date and time it seems so incredibly impossible and intangible. Death becomes a concept that is out there, but it happens to other people, certainly not ourselves or our precious loved ones. We know the specter of it lingers somewhere in the horizon, but it feels as if we’ll never actually meet if we keep the blankets over our heads or keep the lights on.

When we actually come to face death and it is truly palpable we have a unique opportunity to shift our mindset and have actual clarity and awareness of what awaits every single one of us. We’re reminded to be grateful for each moment we have, to appreciate each moment we enjoy with our loved ones, and to savor each breath which are blessed to pass through our system. Some of our deep feelings are brought up to the surface, we can feel so much so much more deeply, and can take action on these sensations in positive ways.

Over time as we distance ourselves from Death the sensation slowly fades into the background and dissipates back into the ether from which it lived before it was conjured up, reappearing when least expected and quickly reminding us of the lessons we learned when we’d last met.

Facing the impermanence of all life can either be difficult or life enriching, it is our choice to decide which it will be.

Presence:

Snuggling with LuLu on the couch this afternoon was perfect. She was smiling away as I pet her, as was I. The moments we’ve shared like this so many times over the past decade are ones I’ll always treasure. I will enjoy as many more of them as possible and savor them all the more deeply.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,848

Growth:

“Don’t be sad wishing for more, be thankful for what you’ve had.”

What wonderful words to live by.

Appreciation:

Time spent laughing together, crying together, and enjoying life together. While there are magical moments alone, the best moments in life are most often shared. Today I’m grateful for sharing so many of those moments.

Presence:

The moments of extreme clarity when I am tested, how present I am. When facing something outside my control do I fixate on it or do I choose to be in the moment I should be in? The moments of being tested are opportunities for presence and awareness.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,847

Short one tonight, spent most of the day in the moment!

Growth:

Everything takes approximately 25-50% longer than one would think.

Appreciation:

Long car rides in which we have spaces of time to talk, connect, and chill. Nice to hit the pause button on distractions and enjoy time together.

Presence:

Sharing laughs with those who know you best, what a gift!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,846

Growth:

Fiction creates space for us to process and explore new ideas and concepts in a safety buffer from our personal biases.

When considering a true story it is so easy to be distracted by the details bumping into our biases. Fiction offers the opportunity to walk safely while leaving with a more clear understanding of the big picture.

Appreciation:

Remember my blog post about “sweatshirt books” yesterday? My mind is even more blown today as I finally caught on to one of the major sub themes which had eluded me during my first few reads. Today the concept kept coming back across my brain like waves against the shore. The similar yet different paths of learning “the truth” through faith and science – which is more important, the search for truth or the living of a good life? Maybe a balance of both? Does knowing the truth, the reason, the why matter more than living as fulfilling life?

Presence:

Spending time on the deck listening to Dominic’s tales of his recent canoeing adventure in the Boundary Waters was so much fun tonight! So glad he had such a great time making some epic memories with his buddies in the their first “no adults” wilderness adventure.

Thanks!!!