Day 2,986

Growth:

You can always say something later which has not been said yet. You cannot unsay anything that has already been said. In my excitement and passion for moving forward quickly I can often get myself in trouble as I say what I’m thinking rather than waiting to say what I’ve thought on deeply. Today I had a couple of reminders of the importance of – and the difference made when – taking time time think and process prior to speaking aloud. To the people who helped me remember to slow down and take one step at a time today, THANK YOU!!!

Appreciation:

The busiest and most full of days are a whirlwind of action, moving from one action to the next, usually with few pauses between. They start busy and accelerate as the completing of one project sees another two unexpected new challenges appear like the heads of a hydra. There seems to be no time to rest, only an ever increasing list of tasks to complete which increase more rapidly than they can be crossed off. That said, those days are also so soothing in an interesting way. They are more easy – we can react as opposed to being proactive. There’s not need to think, only to react. Honestly, they can be intoxicating in their own crazed kind of way. The feeling of progress being made is a dopamine hit to the n-th degree! When it is all said and done I feel totally jacked!

But… those aren’t the most productive days. Those are the days in which the “urgent” likely took the place of the important. The intoxicating feeling of solving problems blurs the vision from the most important tasks which need to be done. There has been so much activity, but was the energy spent well and in the right direction? Was it so energizing because it was simple, I need only react rather than pause and really think? When all is said and done, did the day of fire fighting actually move me closer to my purpose or did it merely help me feel useful through fixing problems which are actually a symptom of a greater issue?

For much of my life those busy days were the best of days, I felt alive, useful, and effective. Only recently have I realized that those days often were precursors to different challenges I was about to face, a potential slipping backwards.

Today I am grateful for the wisdom of seeing the difference between a ridiculously busy and nonstop day of firefighting and a day of very proactive, quiet, and focused day which actually moved me closer to my purpose. One is more “fun,” but the other so much more deeply “rewarding.” Here’s to knowing the difference and for delaying the gratification.

Presence:

Is there much more of an engaging time than a regular and normal family dinner? This evening Becky, Gavin, and I enjoyed our supper together while talking about each others days, joking around, and relaxing together. There was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary, nothing exciting, and really nothing new – just the three of us doing what we often do and eating a fairly standard meal. The “normal-ness” of the meal was exquisite and supremely satisfying in a wonderful way. This evening I caught myself thinking about our meal together and about just how engaged we all were throughout, a moment of family presence tucked into a very busy day. What a gift!!!

Thanks!!!