Taking time to zoom out and think is almost always time well spent, though it often doesn’t feel urgent. The only exceptions are when time is absolutely of the essence and the call must be made immediately. Today my managers and I took time to step away from the whirlwind to start our planning process for 2024. All of us have many other pressing responsibilities, but taking this time to pause and think was possibly the most important activity we could be focused on today. The insights we gleaned from a combination of analysis, thought exercises, and open conversation will help guide our path in 2024. I need to remember to block time like this more often (and put as much preparation into it as I did to set up for today).
Appreciation:
Today I received a very unexpected FaceTime that warmed my heart. No need to get into the details, it was so awesome to be able to connect face to face and meet someone from many states away. An excellent conversation, meaningful dialogue, and a deep sense of purpose.
Presence:
Life has been pretty wild lately with vacation, soccer, college move in, and work. Today I headed home a little early and Becky and I were able to enjoy a little time together while we cooked and ate dinner together for her birthday. Between that time tonight (before she took Gavin to a confirmation orientation) and during our run early this morning we had a couple of pockets of time to talk and connect. I appreciated both of them tremendously, a couple of the highlights of my day!
Something I started doing this past winter was calculating what percent of the time we had Dominic was home was already done. It quickly helped me see how quickly time was flying by and find ways to create more meaningful time together. Today I ran the same calculation for Gavin and was surprised to see he’s already lived over 83% of his life in our house (birth through moving out after high school graduation). Talk about quickly focusing my brain!
Time seems endless until I pause to consider how much time is left. Rather than let it slip away I must intentionally remember to keep focused on appreciating each moment.
Appreciation:
I recently finished Die with Zero by Bill Perkins and it has really gotten my mind racing. An interesting take on creating “memory dividends” through experiences rather than stuff. Also gets into being more intentional with saving AND spending while planning for retirement. So many next steps for me from this one, will be rereading again soon!
Presence:
This is kind of embarrassing, but I had s moment of clarity when I realized I had to give myself a pep talk today to get my mindset right for doing a task I really didn’t want to do. There I was, sitting in my car talking to myself, coaching myself, and giving myself direction. By the time I realized what I was doing I kind of sat back and listened to myself (in the fourth person? 😉🤷♂️😂) and couldn’t help but find the humor in the scenario. I laughed out loud, took a deep breath and proceeded to hit the task hard. Still chuckling to myself on this one!
Day 2,892 (written yesterday, but didn’t post, glad I found the draft!
Growth:
With the power of hindsight it is so easy to see how past mistakes, failures, challenges, and pain can become sources of our greatest strength, growth, wisdom, and joy. While easy to see looking back, why do I not as readily trust that moving forward when I’m in those difficult moments?
Today more than a handful of past growth moments led to positive outcomes and reminded me to stay positive in the midst of any challenge.
Appreciation:
Without getting into too much detail I’d still like to share my gratitude for today. I’m grateful for the opportunity to help someone through a difficult time. When Dad passed I realized the importance of allowing others to make a gift of themselves when they want to. Their help may help heal them, may help them feel a sense of control, may help the feel a sense of purpose, and may help them express love for their fellow person. I’ve recently been on the other side of the equation and cannot begin to explain how much of a positive impact it has had on me. I feel that I have been given the better gift, the opportunity to help.
Presence:
There is not much more energizing in my career than having a team member get super pumped up and excited about an idea or vision they have. Their passion and enthusiasm lift my soul and bring so much joy! Today I was able to share one of those moments and it was awesome!!!
The sermon at church today started with a disclaimer that left me thinking all day for two reasons. The first was a question posed as the centerpiece of the sermon. The second almost made me chuckle out loud as the priest reminded me of two quotes from Yoda in The Last Jedi – definitely NOT the intended message, but one that’s been sticking with me today.
“The greatest teacher failure is.”
Yoda
We are what they grow beyond. That is the burden of all masters.
Yoda
Both of these quotes have been sticking my head as they roll together. Growth happens through failure, we are able to help others grow as a result of our growth, and at a certain point we have to remember that those we grow will outgrow us. This has had me thinking about Dominic, about work, about my relationships with those who’ve taught me and so much more today. What an interesting circle we live!
Appreciation:
This morning Becky and I were torn between what we wanted to do today, head out for a hike or go out on the boat. In a stroke of insight we chose a third option that combined parts of both – we rented kayaks and went out paddling. What a blast! I like the active aspect of hiking, but I also really enjoy getting out on the water while the weather’s nice so kayaking seemed to blend the two. The three of us enjoyed paddling around while watching birds, fish, and turtles while also soaking up some sun and shooting the bull. It turned out to be a fantastic way to get outside, get some exercise in, and enjoy family time all rolled into one. Definitely something we’ll do again!
Presence:
On Friday night I started listening to an album by The Killers that I’d never heard of, Pressure Machine. Over the past couple days I’ve had that album essentially on replay and I just can’t get over how incredible it is. The emotion it brings out is truly epic. The best way I can describe it is this… it is hauntingly beautiful but so intensely tragic. It is a rough but very thoughtful collection of music that resonates so well while also making me feel completely uncomfortable. Each moment spent listening to it has been an opportunity to feel and to grow. If you want a taste of what I mean you can check out their video for Quiet Town here.
Tonight will be a long night and that’s 100% cool by me. What I’m thankful for from a learning standpoint is remembering how important it is to plan ahead and get stuff done early when possible. Rather than waiting until the end of the day as usual I’m typing my blog now so I can go right to sleep when I get home late this evening. A little gift I’m giving myself called planning ahead. 😉
Appreciation:
Mom still laughs when she talks about how I regularly called her during my freshman year of college… well after 10 and 11pm! I’m still not sure how I was too thick headed to realize how late I was calling, but she always took my call and we’d have awesome conversations. Over the past few years she’s been reminding me of that fact to help prep me for what to expect with Dominic, especially since I’m usually in bed by 9pm or so.
Guess what happened last night for the first time? LOL – yup, I was on FaceTime with Dominic well after 10pm last night getting to hear all about what he’s been up to. Funny, I was exhausted immediately before and immediately after that conversation, but during the call I was 100% wide awake. It was so awesome spending time with him virtually like that, hearing some of his experiences, and joking around together. I had a blast and will be 100% open to taking his call any time.
Presence:
I’m going to break from the norm on this section today and focus on something I know I’m going to be 100% present for – spending time with Dominic on his birthday! We’re heading up to pick up Mom and Brad and then see Dominic at the University of Minnesota tonight to take him out to dinner. It hasn’t even been a week since he moved out, but I’m already so excited to spend time with him again. This scene from The Shawshank Redemption has been running through my head all morning:
Communication can really cause issues when it is not clear and/or not clearly understood. This afternoon I spend more time than needed helping to fix a situation which never should have been an issue in the first place.
What’s interesting is that no one was truly at fault, and yet we were all at fault. What I learned was the importance of asking for confirmation that the message was truly received as intended. Similar to posts from the past week, I should have paused, asked, listened, and responded differently in order to prevent the future challenge.
Appreciation:
This evening Becky and I had supper with an old friend we hadn’t sent time with in many years. As we caught up we got into conversations that had Becky and I both laughing as we realized just how much our friend and I have in common. It was a blast! So thankful for taking the opportunity to re-connect and catch back up with someone who’s had a positive impact on my life in many ways. There’s much more for me to write about here but I think I’ll let the rest of my thoughts simmer for a bit and then they’ll show up in a future post, just a hunch.
What really sunk in for me today was a realization about not being alone in the way my brain processes spending time with people. Sometimes I wonder if I am a little different (spoiler alert – I am) in the way I am energized with other people and spending time alone. The conversation shifted my view on this a bit and gave me a few ideas on how to best live into who I am and to work on closing the gap. It also led to seeing Dad in a slightly different way and helped me see a bit of similarity there. I felt like I was spending time with a kindred spirit who had accumulated more wisdom and helped me see how to be a slightly better me. Not a bad dinner!
Presence:
I couldn’t help but laugh at this scene of my running buddies this morning 😂 As one of my teammates pointed out long ago, there’s not much more cute and funny than watching a calf run. These little guys were obviously not used to seeing people run past and were all skittering and running when I got close.
I heard a quote today which may or may not be authentic due to the intense amount of debate to be found by Googling it, but I found it quite meaningful nonetheless.
Preach the Word of God wherever you go, even use words if necessary.
Possibly Saint Francis of Assisi
What struck me was the reminder of the importance of actions over words. Live the way you would speak and there’s no reason to talk about how to live.
Appreciation:
Living into and towards a sense of purpose really adds a deep level of fulfillment to the act of living daily life. Over the past few weeks I’ve been getting much feedback on one aspect in particular which in turn inspires me to do more to live into that purpose which seems to increase the feedback and the circle continues. So much work ahead to fully live into my purpose, but days like today remind me that it is very much a worthwhile endeavor.
Presence:
The crimson sun rising above the fog covered fields and rolling hills was wildly vibrant and beautiful this morning! Almost better than coffee this morning!
So easy to act, so much more healthy to pause, listen, think, and then act. I can so easily jump into action rather than pause first, but today I did and it made a huge difference! My gut feel and initial reaction may be right, but how much more simple and complete is life when I remember to pause first. Many actions do not need to be taken immediately. Somewhere I read a note a while back about how we can always choose to send an email later, but we can never unsend one. Better to wait rather than immediately act.
Appreciation:
I really didn’t realize just how much I needed a night like last night! This morning everything was a little lighter, more chill, and my mind was more at ease. Every handful of months or so I get in the mood to fire up nonstop music online and just go from song to song to song and pick up bits and pieces of life wisdom throughout. It had been a while and it happened to work out that life shifted to create that space last night, just what I needed.
There have been more than a few times when the state of calm or one of the lessons I learned last night came back to help and make today a little more joyful. Sure, I would have really enjoyed going to a soccer game to watch Gavin, but I am very thankful for how everything worked out (and the game was moved rather than canceled).
Presence:
My car showed 102 on the thermometer on the way home. At first I cranked up the AC to cool off a bit, but then I had a better idea. How many days each year to I get to experience triple digit temperatures? Very few! I took this opportunity to shut off the AC, open every window and the moon roof, and soaked up the sun and heat while listening to my new favorite song for the week – My Own Soul’s Warning by The Killers. What an amazing ride home, wind in my hair, singing loudly and without care, and taking it all in. Felt wonderful to feel so alive!
Sometimes my brain needs space to relax, to think, and to engage. I don’t like sitting still and I like keeping busy so this can sometimes be a bit problematic. Tonight Gavin’s soccer game was cancelled due to the heat, Becky is out of town for Dominic’s college orientation, and Gavin went to band camp seeing as there wasn’t soccer. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do for the night, there are a handful of work projects I could put extra time into, there are a few projects at home I’d like to work on, and there was writing that I could always do more of. Instead I just trusted that the universe would provide, and I found myself relaxing, but listening to music on my laptop as I started to type this blog. I started that process almost two hours ago now and I’m so grateful for the rabbit hole I’ve gone down!
While I wasn’t working on a specific project I also wasn’t mindlessly watching a screen. Rather, I quickly became engaged in a study which led me to some very interesting insights.
Initially I loaded up a song by The Killers that blew my mind earlier today when I heard it for the first time – Caution. Earlier in the day I needed a respite from my audiobook to have a little more space to think through the challenge I was facing at work. The first four songs of The Killers album Imploding the Mirage absolutely blew my socks off! I wanted to fire the video up to get a slightly different perspective and I was going to write my blog after. Then I noticed a link to a video of someone hearing a song by The Killers for the first time and couldn’t help but click on it. Next thing I knew I was on a journey of learning for the evening.
Here are some of things I noticed from tonight:
The power of music to soothe our soul is truly awesome
There are so many different ways people learn, no one way is right, only the one that works for us
When we see someone who’s an expert in something one can’t help but be in awe of how differently they see the world. What are the ways we each see the world differently that others might be in awe of? What experiences do we have that allow us to see connections other may typically miss?
The creative process is a beautifully fluid and ethereal thing, never the same way for an individual let alone other people. Something about knowing how to let go just the right way, to trust, to explore, to coax, to release, to play, and to allow, but never to force.
The ability of music and emotion to connect us to a moment is amazing. Experiencing others hearing a beautiful song for the first time adds the joy of the song with the shared human emotional experience even through video. It adds an unexpected level of complexity to the music. More on this in the Presence section.
So many lessons, so much stillness and peace. A heart full of joy through a combination of growth and shared experience even while alone.
Appreciation:
Wow, this is the last section I am writing tonight and I’ve already had this blog started for over two and a half hours. There is so much I am grateful for today, my heart is almost bursting! How do I summarize what I am thankful for? Easy.
I am beyond appreciative for the practice of daily gratitude journaling that I stumbled into almost 3,000 days ago. Taking the time to think through my day, to process the moments, to work through thoughts and emotions, to take time to reflect, to dream, to learn , to grow, to share, to be grateful for life’s blessings. I can’t even begin to state what a positive impact this one simple practice has had on my life in so many levels. This evening was an exquisite reminder of how taking time to journal can help me remember to travel inward and grow rather than sit and waste.
Presence:
The first video that got me going down this evening’s musical/creative journey was this. It is a professional drummer hearing Mr. Brightside by The Killers for the very first time and without a drum track. He listens once, makes notes, and then play song.
Then another similar yet different video caught my attention. This is a voice coach listening to Disturbed’s cover of Sound of Silence. Honestly, the emotion that builds from 7:20 on is palpable and was so much more intense than I would have expected. There was an increased connection to the song with the addition of someone hearing it for the first time. While I’d heard this many times it somewhat put me back into the mindset of hearing it for the first time, but different. (For some reason the video link wasn’t quite working to embed, but click here to see it.)
Sometimes we just need to trust, to listen to the “nudges” from The Big Dude Upstairs, and act with love from our heart. My heart has been reminded of the sewn quote under Pa Bailey’s picture from It’s a Wonderful Life on several occasions today.
“All you can take with you is that which you’ve given away.”
Pa Bailey
Appreciation:
Life throws us many wonderful things that are joyful from the start. They are amazing, awesome, and appreciated, they bring happiness so easily!
Life also throws us the stuff that really sucks once in a while. That stuff hurts, is frustrating, and can really be crushing – it can be so difficult to see any positive through it initially.
Today I’ve had the opportunity to see an interestingly large number of times how those sucky things have actually created long term joy, knowledge, and growth. For some reason it seems like this message came through about once every couple of hours to make sure I was really getting it and seeing what was happening. I’ve had the opportunity to take what I learned from those difficult times, the growth I’ve had through the hurt, and share it in a positive way to help others.
What’s interesting is that it’s also been helping me tremendously [I almost added a comparison of me being helped as much as others today, but I realized how silly it is to compare something like that. My brain typically goes straight to comparisons which can be helpful sometimes, but not in this case. Looks at that, a second Growth point for today 😉 ]. Each of these moments is helping me to pause and review that past hurt. To look at it not specifically for the pain, but rather to find the beauty created through it. I have grown specifically because of those difficult times, they have made me who I am. While I certainly won’t be rushing out to get hurt it does remind me that when I have something difficult happen that I can find the upside if I remember to pause and look for it. I’ll have the confidence to better work through the difficulty and may possibly learn and grow more specifically because I’ve got my head in the right place sooner.
What a gift!
Presence:
Becky and I got to spend some time with Gavin’s entire soccer team this evening and it was a blast! The kids were all so polite, fun, and engaging, such a gift to see their personalities live and in action. After spending time with young men like this one can’t help but be more positive about the future of our world. So many smiles – such an awesome opportunity to spend time with them today!
Thankful for Forty 