Day 2,859

Growth:

Grief has the power to freeze us in our tracks. After getting home tonight I just wanted to stress eat and go to sleep. Zero motivation, feeling like something is missing, and not feeling 100%. And that’s okay. I’m not beating myself up over it.

I’m working on being grateful for the time I had, but with mixed results. And that’s okay. I’m not beating myself up over it.

Tomorrow is the next chapter, the time to be vigilant in staying positive and appreciative. Tonight I’ll allow the hurt to numb and cloud. When my alarm goes off I’ll get back to where I need to be. I will give myself this grace, there will be no remorse, and I will choose joy in the morning.

Appreciation:

This morning I awoke to thunder and lightning. Rather than going for a run in it I opted to go back to sleep for a bit. Tonight I’m going to bed a bit early. Extra rest and extra sleep will help my head get back to the right space. I’m grateful for remembering to rest during a difficult time like this rather than stress or drink or mindlessly watch TV. Rest, heal, and move forward when the alarm goes off tomorrow morning.

Presence:

Waking up to a home without LuLu. Coming home to a house without LuLu. Going to bed without LuLu in her dog bed next to ours. All moments of clarity, moments filled with silence and a void rather than LuLu. Each moment cut deeply and hurt, but also was a beautiful reminder of how much of a positive impact she had on my life.

Thanks!!!