Day 2,829 (written on Monday, June 26)

Growth:

Why am I always in a hurry?  This morning I caught myself waking up early, hitting the trail hard, and staying focused on getting to camp to set up as soon as possible.  I then made it worse in the only way possible, I started thinking ahead to setting up camp tomorrow.  

At some point I finally realized what I was doing… the exact opposite of why I’m out here.  To pause, to breathe, to relax.  Not everything is a competition.  Not everything needs a strategy.  Sometimes the long way around is the most enjoyable and has the best views.

Presence is a gift.  Why must do I naturally default to thinking ahead rather than focusing on the now?  Not everything is s race.  Not every achievement must be reached.  Ahh…. That’s likely part of this, isn’t it?  

Hello Ego, my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again…

I never realized that part of what gets in my way of the moment is often ego.  Here’s to continuing to work on shedding ego.

Appreciation:

I’m really thankful for giving myself this gift of aloneness.  The first 24-ish hours were wildly uncomfortable, especially when I caught myself talking out loud.  Now that I’ve settled into it there’s definitely a magic and a joy to it.  For sure, I don’t need nor want this experience often, but it is incredibly therapeutic.

I’m facing silence and lack of interaction.  I’m seeing parts of me I do not like and wish to change.  

I’m seeing just how small and insignificant my life is in the big picture.  I am here and will be gone but the rivers and rocks were here long before me and will be here long after I’m gone.  This thought isn’t gloomy or dismal, quite the opposite.  It reminds me how precious this life is and how I must take full advantage of this gift while I’m blessed to have it.

In the quiet of the woods I hear Dad.  So many thoughts, so much gratitude.  

All this and do much more in this time of being alone.

Presence:

Oh my goodness, so many moments of presence today, especially after I realized what I shared in the Growth section.  Here are a few that really stick out to me.

• Sitting on a rock in a stream watching the water spill over the rocks.
• Watching a half dozen water striders jockey for position in the moving water.
• Seeing the sun catch the mosquitoes just right so I can watch the dragonfly dart around as he ate his supper.
• The butterfly who landed on my finger as I sat still.  Thanks to being that close I was able to see that its wings were not black, rather a super dark blue.

Thanks!!!